I Can't Make You Love Me
by McDimplesBaby
Summary: Arizona Robbins begins a new life in New York. Will everything run as smoothly as she is expecting, or will old flames burn her once again? ***COMPLETE***
1. Chapter 1

**I Can't Make You Love Me.**

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Chapter One

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ARIZONA'S POV

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Okay, so New York is better than I imagined it to be. Sure, I'm kinda out of it and I don't really have anyone here other than my daughter, but I feel good. I feel positive. I know it won't always feel like that, but I'm going to be working with Nicole Herman again, and that in itself is enough to keep my positivity up. That in itself tells me I'm supposed to be here. That I was supposed to choose New York before she came back. Her agreeing to set up our clinic in New York was just another blessing in my life. It really was. I have a few weeks before I have to get going with it all, but that just means I have more time to settle down here with Sofia. Get her back into a routine. I know she's happy here, so I'm happy, too. Everything always works itself out and I know that no matter how much I miss Seattle, my daughter will always put a smile on my face. My daughter will always make me feel like I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be.

Dropping down into a seat at my new local coffee shop, I pull out my cell and check for any new messages. I'm meeting Callie in a few minutes to discuss any plans we may have for Sofia, and then I'm headed home to my new apartment to make it feel a little more me. _Yeah, it's too dull._ My life may be dull at times, but my home…never. I want color. I want vibrancy. I want to feel like I belong there. Setting my cell to silent, I place it down on the table beside me and glance up to find my ex-wife approaching me. Giving her a full smile, she shrugs her jacket from her shoulders and drops down in the seat facing me. "Hey, sorry I'm late."

"Didn't realize you were." I slide her coffee closer to her. "You look like you could use this…"

"Thanks so much." She runs her fingers through her hair and sighs. "Work is kicking my ass right now."

"Mm, I see that." I give her a sad smile. "You got a full week on?"

"Yeah, keeps me sane so I don't mind so much."

"You doing okay, Cal?" I furrow my brow as I sip my coffee. "Just…I don't know what happened to you and Penny but you look a little lost."

"No, I'm okay." Callie gives me a half smile. "I'm just fried this week, sorry."

"Don't apologize." I hold up my hand. "We don't all have a few weeks to relax."

"How are you settling in?" My ex-wife changes the conversation. "You seem…good?"

"I am." I agree. "Kinda new but exciting."

"Yeah, that's how I felt when I moved here." She sits back in her seat. "So, Sofia went to school okay?"

"For the first time in weeks, yeah." I roll my eyes. "I should've known it wouldn't last in Seattle with her, Callie."

"No, you shouldn't." My ex-wife counters. "Sofia wanted to come home to you and I believe I did the right thing in letting her go."

"Maybe." I sigh. "Still, she's home and she is good. That's all that matters, right?"

"It's good to see you, Arizona." Callie gives me one of her amazing smiles. "You should come over for dinner…"

"Yeah, that would be nice." I nod. "We will arrange something, okay?"

"We would love that." Callie agrees. "Maybe we can discuss all of this over dinner?"

"Yeah, I guess that would be okay." I shrug. "Maybe tomorrow night?"

"Great…providing I don't get paged."

"Of course, yeah." Relaxing a little more, it's kinda nice that Callie is here sharing coffee with me. I know we divorced and things ended badly in terms of the custody hearing, but we let that go a while ago. There was no point holding onto it and it wouldn't have benefited our daughter in any way. We let it go and we moved on. We moved forward. "So, what's good around here? Any good places to eat?"

"Oh, a lot." Callie laughs. "Too much choice."

"Maybe you can give me a few tips when you're not busy…bars, too?"

"Oh, I know one that you would like." Callie throws me a wink. "Maybe I could take you one night?"

"Oh, I don't know." I drop my gaze.

"Come on." She rolls her eyes. "I'm not going to jump on you, Arizona."

"No, that's not what I meant." My eyes widen. "I just…I'm not sure I'm ready for a relationship yet. Dating isn't even really anything I've thought about."

"You have to get yourself out there." She gives me a knowing look. "Why waste time?"

"I don't know." I breathe out. "Because wasting time is easier than putting myself out there, no?"

"Sure, but you should have someone in your life." Callie furrows her brow. "Don't you want that?"

"I did." I smile. "I had that." Glancing around when I hear the sound of a familiar voice, my heart pounds in my ears when my suspicions are confirmed. _Eliza?_ Watching as she presses a kiss below another blondes ear, my body shudders and Callie recognizes that something isn't right with me.

"What's going on?" She leans in close and places her hand on my own. "You look like you just saw a ghost."

"You could say that." Shaking myself from my thoughts as my ex turns and heads my way, I drop my gaze and clear my throat. "You wanna get out of here? Take a walk maybe?"

"Yeah, I could use the fresh air." Giving her a nod, we both stand and Eliza stops dead in front of me.

"Arizona?" Surprise evident in her voice, I turn to face her and study her features. "How are you?"

"Uh, amazing." I give her a look of confusion. "Why are you even talking to me right now?"

"What? Why wouldn't I?"

"Really?" I scoff. "You're actually asking me that?" The fucking nerve of this woman. Does she forget what she did to me? Does she realize how much she hurt me by just leaving? Without a word? "Good to see you but I have to go."

"I saw you." Eliza clears her throat. "Moving in, I saw you."

"Where?"

"In the apartment block." She gives me a small smile. "You're 315, right?"

"I am." _How does she know where I live?_

"I'm 317." She shrugs. "Great apartments, huh?" _She lives two doors from me? This is just fucking great._ "I guess I'll see you around then…"

"Oh, I don't think so." I grab my purse and motion for Callie to head to the door. Yes, Eliza is looking as incredible as ever, but she hurt me. She hurt me and she doesn't even realize it. Wow, some people just don't see how their actions affect other people. "Let's go, Cal."

"You good?" She lowers her tone. "What was that about?"

"Just an ex." I shrug as we head out onto the street. "An ex I don't want to talk _or_ think about."

"Sure." My ex-wife agrees. "Seems you two have some things you need to clear up…"

"Nope. Nothing at all." Heading off down the street, Callie and I fall into step together and my heart rate returns to normal. Today I will spend the afternoon with Callie and we will both make plans to give our daughter the best life possible. Anything else? It's totally taking a back seat. _Eliza fucking Minnick._

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 ** _You doing okay? Cal x_**

 ** _Yes, thanks. Sorry about earlier. A x_**

 ** _Don't be. Give me a call if you need anything. Cal x_**

 ** _Thank you, Callie. A x_**

Setting my cell down, I pull my feet up onto the coffee table and take a long sip of my glass of white. Today has been full of emotions I didn't expect to have and now I'm sitting alone whilst Sofia sleeps down the hall. I haven't seen my daughter settled like this in a long time and it's so good to see. To know that I've made her happy by bringing her back to New York and staying, yeah…I'm kinda proud of myself for making the right decision. It was _always_ the right decision to make. I know that.

Sighing, my mind takes me back to the one woman who has been consuming my thoughts since I bumped into her earlier. I'm still super mad at Eliza for doing what she did, but I can't stop thinking about her. Knowing she is just two doors from me is something I didn't need to be made aware of, and now that I know…I don't know how I feel. I mean, I still hate what she did to me, but knowing that she is so close is making me crazy. It's making me crazy, but I'm not about to show up at her place. No, no way. She is involved, I saw that with my own eyes. She seemed happy, though. I guess that's all that matters.

I've spent the evening wondering what would've happened if she'd never left. I know, I know I shouldn't be thinking these things, but its hard not to. When she made me feel how she did, it's hard not to wonder. It's hard not to think. I mean, would she have moved with me? Would she have given up Seattle for my daughter and me? She seems like the kind of woman who would, but it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter because she left me without a single fucking word and I didn't deserve that. I didn't deserve anything that she did to me. She made me feel like a fool. I'd spent so long backing her up and not siding with the guys at the hospital and then she just leaves. I looked like an asshole. A complete asshole.

Knocking back the remainder of my wine, I pour myself a fresh glass and sink down into my couch. I don't plan on moving for the rest of the evening, and I know Sofia isn't likely to wake until morning. She sleeps just like her other mother. Like the dead. Nothing and nobody wakes my kid, just like my ex-wife. Sometimes, I swear it's like Callie is still here. Just…a smaller version. Smiling when I'm reminded of the times we once had together, I don't feel any hatred or ill thoughts towards my wife anymore. We've both moved on and we are both happy. Well, I'm not so sure Callie is right now but she knows I'm here if she needs to talk. She knows I'm here if she needs a night where she can let go and just talk out her crap. We may have ended, but she knows I'm always here for her. That will never change.

A light knocking on my door pulling me from my thoughts, I furrow my brow and set my glass down. Callie has plans this evening so I don't know why she would be calling here right now. _She knows I'm okay._ Pulling my door open slowly and quietly, I'm met with a bouquet of flowers…being held by Eliza's hands. _God, those hands. I loved those hands._ "I'm sorry." She croaks out. "Please, just take them."

Taking them from her, I study them and yeah…they're gorgeous. Incredible, even. "Why are you here?" I ask, my voice low so as not to wake my daughter.

"I was an ass to you today…"

"No, you were an ass to me when you left six months ago, Eliza." I set down the flowers and lean against the frame of my door. "Today, I just didn't expect to see you."

"I am sorry." She gives me a sad smile. "For everything."

"Okay." I nod. "Take care…"

"Wait, Arizona." She shoves her foot against the door. "I just…I had to leave."

"You don't have to explain yourself to me." I hold up my hands. "I didn't matter to you six months ago, and I don't matter to you now."

"You did matter." She furrows her brow. "I know you may not believe that, but you did matter."

"I should really get back inside." I clear my throat. "Sofia is sleeping and I have a long day tomorrow."

"Why did you move to New York?"

"For my family." I breathe out. "Sofia, she wasn't happy in Seattle."

"She came home to you?" Eliza's smile widens a little. "That's awesome. I know how much you wanted her with you."

"And now I have her." I smile. "My life is perfect and I couldn't ask for anymore."

"She means the world to you…"

"Always has." My voice breaks. "So, it was good to see you and thanks for the flowers...they're really beautiful. I just, I have to go."

"Right yeah." Eliza takes a step back. "You look good, Arizona."

"Yeah, I feel it." I nod. "Take care, okay?"

"That's it, really?" She wrinkles her nose.

"Um…" I furrow my brow. "Were you expecting something more than that?"

"A conversation, maybe?" She shrugs. "Something…"

"Well, you won't get much conversation out of me." I tilt my head a little. "You're wasting your time."

"I didn't think you cared." She admits. "I didn't think anyone cared…"

"Yeah, well…if you'd answered my calls, you'd have known just how much I cared." Closing my apartment door, I lock it up for the night and sigh. Eliza may live ridiculously close to me now but it doesn't change anything. I wish it did, but her excuse isn't acceptable. Sure, she was probably embarrassed about everything that happened, but I was the one who was supposed to be there for her. I was the one she was supposed to trust. I was a fool to ever think I could have the world again after I lost Callie but I won't make that mistake anymore. I won't ever let anyone in like I did with Eliza. It's not worth the pain. It's not worth the sleepless nights. Not when I'm about to begin a new adventure. Not when I'm about to be the best I can ever possibly be.

Taking the gorgeous flowers sitting on the table close to the door, I head for the kitchen and approach the trash. _Don't trash them. They're beautiful._ I don't even know what to do with freaking flowers from her. What does that even mean? I want to hate her and I want to be mad at her still, but she cared. She cared and she loved me for who I was. She cared, but she left. _Regardless of how I feel, she still left and I'm still alone._ Shaking myself from my thoughts, I place the flowers in some water and figure I'll deal with them tomorrow. I don't know why she even showed up here tonight. She is dating and I don't want anything to get in the way of that. My days of being dragged into other people's relationships are over. Very very over. My cell buzzing on the coffee table, I release a deep breath and head for it.

 ** _I was a fool._**

Checking the name, I'm shocked to find it's Eliza. I always wondered if she had taken a new cell number and now I know she didn't, it only makes me more pissed at her. I mean, did she block my calls? Did she block me?

 ** _I don't expect to hear back from you, but I am sorry. If I could change things, I would. Eliza x_**

 ** _Tell that to your girlfriend._**

 ** _She's not my girlfriend. Just…I'm sorry. I'm so happy you have your daughter back with you. Goodnight x_**

Shaking my head, I lock my cell and turn out the lights. It's only a little after nine in the evening but I'm more than done for the day. Eliza has gotten into my head and I know it's going to be a night of tossing and turning. I know, because that's how it was when she left. She may be here and willing to communicate…fix things, but it's too little too late for me. I don't want someone who can't stick around when things get hard. I want someone who sees me above all else. I want someone who isn't selfish and too concerned about how people see them. I want someone who loves me unconditionally. Someone who can't bear the thought of spending a night away from me. I want that, but that's the fairytale.

 _My life is anything but a fairytale…_

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 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.**


	2. Chapter 2

**I Can't Make You Love Me.**

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Chapter Two

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ELIZA'S POV

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Arizona hates me. I don't know why I expected our reunion to be any different, but yeah…I thought she would've been more forgiving than she was. I guess I just figured that she was that kinda person. I shouldn't have, though. I mean, yeah she is totally that person, but I don't deserve her forgiveness. I don't deserve anything from her. I just didn't think that she would care. I didn't and I closed myself off. I shut down and I wallowed. Then, I got a grip of my life and went back to work. It's the only thing I could do. Once I'd realised how much of an asshole I'd been to Arizona, it was too late. In my opinion, anyway. I couldn't bring myself to contact her and I couldn't bring myself to grovel. I wanted to, but she didn't need that. Then I heard she was dating. She had the hots for some Italian chick back in Seattle and I was totally forgotten about, thankfully. I guess I just thought I was off the hook. I didn't expect to ever see Arizona again, so I let it lie. I figured she was happy and content and even though I missed her, it wasn't my place to contact her and try to get back into her life. Not when almost four months had passed. Not when I hadn't spoken to her once since I'd left. No call. No text. Nothing to even tell her I was still alive and breathing.

She's here now, though. She's here and I cannot get her off of my mind. She's here and she is two freaking doors away from me. God, what I'd give to just see her for five more minutes. I don't deserve a second with that woman, but she's totally in my head now. Those eyes when she opened the door to me. That soft smile as I handed over the flowers. I've missed those things about her. Honestly, I missed everything. She doesn't need to know, but two months after I left, I returned to Seattle with the hopes of seeing her. I planned to just call her once I landed and take her out to dinner but my nerves got the better of me and then I saw her leaving the hospital with the woman she was dating. Yeah, I was never competing with that. She looked so happy. That laugh, it was full. It was genuine. So, I turned around and I went back to my hotel. I didn't want to be seen anywhere near the hospital so I quickened my pace and I got out of there as fast as I'd arrived.

From that day on, I told myself that Arizona was no longer anything to me. I had to. I mean, I'm not sure she was ever truly mine to begin with, but I felt like she was. Once I'd pursued her and she had given me a little attention, I saw who she really was. I saw the woman I was compelled to chase and I loved every moment I spent with her. That gorgeous voice. How it was so soft and adorable when I woke beside her. How her breathing calmed me during the night. Soothing. How we would travel to work together and share lunch together. Yeah, she meant more to me than she will ever know. Why? Because I saw that void in her eyes when I spoke to her last night out on the corridor. I saw how disinterested she was with the fact that I'd even knocked on her door. If I could take back the fact that I left, I would. I can't though, and that is something I will forever regret. I don't believe in regrets, but with Arizona…I totally do. _God, I thought about her all the time. Too much._

Sure, she isn't here with the Italian who has probably swept her off her feet, but I expect to see her around soon. I expect to watch them come and go together. Hand in hand. Arms wrapped around each other. I expect that, and it's something I'm going to have to deal with when the time comes. When they're making plans and in love as they approach Arizona's door every night, I will somehow manage. I don't know how, but I've survived these past six months and I'll survive the next. At least, that is what I'm hoping for. Maybe it will all fall apart around me, but I'm also used to that. I'm used to being alone and this time…it's completely all my own fault.

 _Oh god._ What if she is back here for her ex-wife? I mean, it would make sense. She was sharing coffee with her yesterday and then they left together. That would just make this all worse. I know how hurt she was by Callie's actions. Sure, I only have one side of the story, but whenever she spoke about what she had been through, I could see that hurt in her eyes. The desperate want to have her daughter by her side. If she has gone back to her, I'm not sure I can watch that. I'm not sure I can be around to see Callie make her happy again. Not when I'm the one who held her when she cried. Not when I'm the one who told her everything would be okay…only to leave without a word. This is messed up, but I don't know how to fix it. Pulling my cell from my lab coat, I pull up Arizona's number and send off a quick message.

 ** _So, I forgot to welcome you to the building last night. E x_**

Like she cares about my welcomes and my shitty words. Why would she? I have to stop thinking about her before I drive myself insane but I can't. Seeing her moving in was bad enough, but talking to her? Her hand brushing mine…yeah, that has completely tipped me over the edge. I knew eventually she would realize I lived two doors from her, but I didn't anticipate her tone towards me. Yes, I should've expected it, but no…I didn't.

 ** _Yeah, thanks._**

Could she be any more cold towards me? Really? Shaking my head and sighing in disappointment, I lock my cell and shove it back in my pocket. I have to get a grip and I have to do it soon. No good will come from me dragging my feet around over this, so yeah…I have to let her go and leave her to enjoy her life. Arizona knows what is best for her and I know that it's not me. Maybe at one time, it could've been, but not anymore. Not since I hurt her. Yes, it was unintentional because I didn't think she would miss me, but she still deserved a call from me. She still deserved the opportunity to talk to me and hear what I had to say.

 _Yeah, I'm a complete asshole…_

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Stepping into the elevator, I hit the button for the third floor and I've never been so thankful for a day to end as I am right now. I didn't sleep so well last night and it's really beginning to catch up with me. Not only have I had Arizona on my mind all day, I've had the woman I've been dating repeatedly texting me. She's nice but she's too much sometimes. Nothing is exclusive between us but it wouldn't matter even if it was. Arizona isn't interested and I'm beginning to wonder if I'd be better off single right now. Yes, having Ash around has been awesome, but it's getting a little too full on for me. We've been dating a little over a month and the pace was good. It was steady. We've only slept together once and I felt like it was just nice to have someone I could spend a little time with. She's beginning to want more from me and honestly, I'm not in the right frame of mind at the moment. I'm not prepared to put my all into something with her…not when Arizona is living in the same block as me. On the same floor. Basically, side by side. I'd like to believe that in time I will be happy again, but since last night, I don't feel like it will ever happen. _I should just tell Ash I'm not ready for anything more yet._ I mean, she is talking about introducing me to her mom and that's just not what I need right now. I need relaxed. Easy. I need someone who is on the same wavelength as me and that's not her.

The doors opening, I step off the elevator and round the corner. Startled when I find my ex sitting on the floor, her back resting against her apartment door, I think about walking straight past. _I can't do that. That would be rude._ Yeah, it may be rude but so was me leaving her how I did. "Arizona, is everything okay?"

"Oh, yeah." She gives me a small smile. "Left my keys in Callie's car."

"Oh, right." I nod. "Is she coming back with them?"

"Yeah, she's bathing Sofia but she won't be much longer." She pulls her knees up to her chest and I'm assuming that is my cue to leave. "Sorry, I'm in your way."

"Not at all." I shake my head. "Did you want coffee?"

"No, thank you." She drops her gaze. "Callie should be back soon."

"You guys working things out?" I ask, nonchalantly. "That would be awesome for Sofia."

"Who?" She furrows her brow. "Me and Callie?" Giving her a nod, she laughs. "No, Callie and I are Sofia's moms…that's all."

"Right." I nod as I step past her. "The Italian?"

"What about her?" Her head shoots up. "I mean, who told you?"

"It doesn't matter who told me." I shrug. "Is she headed here soon?"

"No. We, uh…I mean I broke it off with her." Toying with her cell phone in her hand, I feel relieved. I know I shouldn't, but I am. Yes, I want Arizona to be happy, but I wish that was with me.

"Oh, Sorry…I didn't know."

"Why would you?" She furrows her brow. "Have you been checking up on my life?"

"No, I just…it doesn't matter." I slip my key into the lock. "Goodnight, Arizona." Pushing my door open, I quickly close it behind me and press my back against it. Now she thinks I've been asking about her instead of calling her myself. I should've just kept quiet. I don't even know why I asked about her ex-girlfriend…or her ex-wife. It isn't any of my business and I'd do well to remember that, I really would.

Shrugging my jacket from my shoulders, I throw it down on the couch and pace the floor. I should really invite her inside but she doesn't want to hold a conversation with me. I mean, I could just go out there and demand to speak with her but who am I to even think about doing that? Who am I to even breathe the same air as the gorgeous woman sitting on the floor outside? Pulled from my thoughts when there is a knock at my door, I close my eyes and compose myself. I know it's going to be Arizona…nobody else would be calling here this evening. Opening the door, I find her standing before me looking gorgeous in her skinny jeans and tight fitting blouse. "Who have you been talking to?"

"About what?" I ask.

"About me…"

"Nobody." I sigh. "Arizona, just forget I said anything. It's not important anymore."

"Well, I think it is." She spits. "The same way that it was important to me when you fucking walked out of my life without any word. Any explanation. I mean, who even does that to someone?"

"I'm sorry…"

"Did you _ever_ care about me?" She asks, her voice cold and hard. "Did you ever care about anything that we were?"

"You know I did." I give her a knowing look.

"Did I?" She laughs. "I mean, you said you wanted to be with me. You told me you were happy."

"I was happy…" I say with certainty. "I was the happiest I'd ever been with you."

"So, why walk away?" She asks, her brow furrowed. "Why disappear and expect me to be fine with it?"

"I thought you didn't care," I say, barely above a whisper. "Why would you?"

"Why would I?" She repeats, scoffing. "Why would I care?"

"Yeah…"

"Because I was falling in love with you, Eliza. I was falling in love with you after opening up to you and letting my guard down." _Wow._ "I mean, I can't _make_ you love me…but I thought we had something there…a connection."

"Y-You…" I close my eyes momentarily. "You were?"

"I was." She holds up her hands. "But I guess I should thank you. I should thank you for leaving before I got in too deep and you broke my heart anyway. At least this way it was sudden and I had no choice but to move on."

"I thought you would've sided with the hospital," I admit. "I didn't think I meant so much to you." My voice breaking, Arizona steps back and simply shrugs. "I-I thoug-"

"I don't want to hear it." She shakes her head. " _I_ thought we were good together. _I_ thought we had a real chance at being happy but clearly, _I_ was wrong."

"Let me take you to dinner." I rush out my words before she leaves the space we are sharing. "Please?"

"No." She drops her gaze. "I have to concentrate on my daughter, but thank you for the offer."

"I'll cook. You can bring Sofia with you…"

"Eliza, you don't get it, do you?" She studies my face. "You hurt me. You really fucking hurt me."

"And now I'm trying to fix that." I step a little closer to her. "Please, let me fix it."

"I don't want you to fix it." She disagrees. "I want to get on with my life. A life I've been trying to repair since I fucked it all up years ago. Seems I'm never going to be good enough for anyone." She laughs. "At least I know that now, though. At least I know that I'm better off alone."

"Don't say that." I reach out my hand but she moves further away from me. "Arizona…"

"Don't…"

"Why did you break it off with her?" I ask.

"She doesn't like kids." She shrugs. "Or, she doesn't like _my_ kid, I don't know." A tear slipping down her gorgeous face, I furrow my brow and shake my head.

"How can she not like your kid?"

"Because she doesn't." Arizona scoffs. "So, I'm going to just leave now." She throws her thumb over her shoulder. "You look great… _really_ great, but I have to go." Dropping her shoulders, Arizona disappears and my heart sinks into my stomach. I mean, how can someone not want Arizona and Sofia around? How can anyone not want that gorgeous woman and her adorable kid? I was never lucky enough to meet her, but I would have welcomed her without a doubt. If it made Arizona happy, I'd have given up everything to get Sofia back home with her.

"Arizona!" I step out into the corridor. Watching as she turns back, a small smile curls on my lips. "You look _really_ great, too."

"Thanks…"

"And for the record, Sofia is a part of you…I'd have never not wanted her around." A smile curling on Arizona's mouth, she nods slowly. "You come as a package…a beautiful package and I always understood that."

"Thank you." She gives me an appreciative smile. "That means a lot."

"Well, you mean a lot." I step back, my back connecting with the doorframe.

"Just…not enough."

"No." I shake my head, my emotions beginning to get the better of me. "Too much." Heading back inside my apartment, I close my door and lock up for the night. If Arizona ever decides she wants to sit down and talk with me, I'll be more than happy to do that. She's right, though. She has to concentrate on her daughter. I wouldn't expect anything less. Me? I can wait until she is ready…maybe that will happen one day, I don't know.

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 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.**


	3. Chapter 3

**I Can't Make You Love Me**

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Chapter Three

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ARIZONA'S POV

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I didn't expect any of that from Eliza. I mean, it doesn't change anything for me, but hearing her say those things really made me smile. It made me smile harder than I thought I would. Knowing that she doesn't see Sofia as a barrier. Knowing that she doesn't think my daughter is a problem…yeah, it made me smile. If only things had been different for us I know we would've been happy right now. If she'd just contacted me once and told me she had to leave, I would have handled that. At least, I think I would. I can't say for sure what the situation would've been if Eliza and I were still together when Sofia came home and then expressed her desire to leave again, but something tells me that it wouldn't have changed anything for us. Something tells me that Eliza would've followed me wherever I went. New York included. _If only she hadn't left me how she did._ I understand that she didn't want to face anything that happened, but if I meant so much to her, we wouldn't have ended how we did. She wouldn't have left and bumped into me unexpectedly six months later. I know her job allows for her to move from city to city, but that isn't helping right now. After hearing what she had to say a week ago, it's only made me think about Eliza more. Yes, Sofia is my priority, but even my ex-wife has made a comment about how I need to put myself out there. _I've been avoiding Eliza for a week because I can't be held responsible for anything I may say or do if I see her._

Maybe I do need to put myself out there, but what's the point? Nothing is ever as simple as I imagine it to be. Nothing ever runs smoothly in my life so I don't believe dating is an option for me right now. One day, it will be…but right now, I'm not so sure. I'm not sure of anything since I found out that Eliza was living in New York and everything feels more up in the air than it ever has before. Yes, I'm happy here but can I be happy alone? Can I be happy with myself when she is two doors away and telling me I meant something to her? I know she hasn't exactly shown that since she left but maybe a conversation with her wouldn't be the worst thing in the world. I just…I don't know what to do. I don't want to approach her for this to fall apart again and one or both of us are left hurt. By words. By actions.

Callie and I have agreed that she would take Sofia during weekends providing she didn't have to cover a shift. She's highly respected at the hospital she is at now and they understand that Sofia is the most important thing to her. Sure, she worked harder whilst our daughter was back in Seattle with me, but we are working on a plan and whatever suits is good enough for us. My ex-wife has been great and I'm beginning to wonder if I should've come to New York sooner than I did. Some people believe I'm here to please Callie once again but it really isn't like that. I didn't need to be in Seattle to work to the best of my ability and once the clinic is up and running, I know I'll fall back into a comfortable pace. It's inevitable. My work is my life. My life _after_ Sofia.

Finishing up with the laundry I've been working through for the past hour, I set it down in piles and drag myself away and into the kitchen. Coffee is calling me and I don't plan on doing anything else for the rest of the evening. It's a little after four on a Friday evening and Sofia is with Callie until Sunday afternoon. We've been hanging out together through the week and I think Sofia is probably happier than she has been in a long time lately. She has that full smile on her face whenever we are out as a family and honestly, it melts my heart. Callie and I both have an understanding of what we expect from each other and there is no line to be crossed. Neither of us wants to go back to how we used to be and so long as that doesn't change, there is no reason why we can't do this family thing how we are. There really isn't. It's good to have someone here and if that someone is the mother of my child, then I'm perfectly fine with that.

 ** _Drinks at my place tonight. 7 pm. E x_**

Glancing down at the message flashing on my cell, I furrow my brow and wonder if that message was even supposed to be sent to me. I mean, it probably is but I'm not sure I should go. I kinda want to, but I shouldn't. It will only complicate things further and I don't need any more complications in my life right now. I really don't. I've already spent my entire week thinking about her and if I see her, I will only think harder. _Damn it!_

 ** _Thanks but I'm busy. Arizona._**

 ** _Well, if you suddenly become unbusy, you know where I am. E x_**

A small smile curling on my lips, I try desperately to hold it back but I can't. I can't because Eliza has always been pretty good at making me smile and now is no different. No matter how mad I am at her or how hurt I feel by her actions, I guess I'll always have a soft spot for her. _Maybe I will head to her place tonight._ Toying with my cell, I chew on the inside of my mouth and try to think of a reason for not going by. Sure, we aren't on the best terms right now but is that really a good enough reason? She is my neighbor and we are going to see a lot of each other. Maybe it's best to just let the rest lie for now and at least be friendly with her.

 ** _I'll see if I can make it. Arizona._**

I guess I should welcome myself to the building, right? If I'm ever going to really fit in here, I should really try to make an effort. Who knows, I may be surprised by the evening if I give in and enjoy myself a little. Eliza and I haven't held much of a conversation since the outburst I had at her door last week but that's okay. I know she gets it and I know that she is sorry. _Sometimes sorry isn't enough._ I wish it was, but I'm struggling with letting her in again, I really am. I know she wants to fix things between us but I waited for her. I waited for her anger to subside. I waited for her to come round. She never did, though. She didn't come round to anything and I was left wondering where the hell I'd gone wrong. _Let it go, Robbins._

 ** _You've no idea how great it would be to see you. E x_**

This is what I'm worried about. I'm worried that Eliza is going to be the one left hurt. I know she thinks I'm going by to see _her,_ but I'm not. I'm going by because I was invited and I'm tired of sitting around alone in my apartment. It's great when Sofia is here but she isn't here right now. I have no excuse. I'm hot and I'm single so yeah, I should be making the most of my free time. I should be enjoying my Friday evening, regardless of who it is with.

 _Get ready and live a little…_

* * *

Checking myself over in the mirror before I leave my apartment for the evening, I'm satisfied that I'm looking good but not too good. Tonight is about enjoying myself. Tonight is about letting myself go and just seeing where the evening takes me. Tonight is about me. All about me. Slipping on my black heels, I fix my hair around my shoulders a little better and head for the door. I've heard people arriving at Eliza's for near on forty minutes now but there was a moment when I was prepared to settle down for the evening and not even drop by.

Then I heard her voice out in the hallway. I heard her voice and it somehow made my heart pound harder in my chest. I don't know why and I don't like that it happened, but it did and now I need to see the reaction to spending the evening with her. Sure, I'm not going to be alone with her but judging by how her voice made me feel earlier, that can only be a good thing. As the day has gone on, I've felt more and more torn about my ex. About what she did to me. About what she has said to me since. I just…I want to be happy and I really believed I could have that with her. I believed it, and I'm finding it hard to stop thinking about that possibility again. I'm sure I'm just thinking too much, but I'm actually looking forward to seeing her. I'm looking forward to watching her as she hangs out with her friends, and I'm looking forward to grabbing five minutes with her and just talking. About anything. Nothing serious, just enjoyment.

Stepping out into the hallway, I lock my apartment up and head towards the numbers 317 on the door further down the corridor. Knocking loudly, a bottle of red in my hand, Eliza's door opens and I'm met with the same woman I found my ex with at the coffee shop several days ago. "Hey." She smiles. "Eliza invite you?"

"Um, yeah." I clear my throat. _Yeah, she's hot._ "Arizona." I hold out my hand. I guess I'm introducing myself to my ex-girlfriend's girlfriend right now, I don't know.

"Ash." She smiles as she gives my hand a firm shake. "Come on in." Stepping aside, she gives me a little more room and I head into Eliza's apartment. I can hear her laugh coming from the other side of the room and Ash immediately calls my ex over. "Someone here for you…"

"Oh, right." Eliza nods as her eyes land on mine. "You made it…" Her smile widening, Ash disappears and my ex approaches me. "I didn't think you would show."

"Figured I could use a little me time…"

"Sofia not home?" She asks as she guides me into the kitchen.

"No, she spends the weekend with Callie." Handing over the wine in my hand, she gives me a thankful smile and sets a glass down between us, the kitchen counter separating us. "Your place is great."

"Thanks, I had plenty of time to do something with it." Her eyes finding mine as fills up my glass, I swallow hard and try not to focus on her eyes. "You've settled in?"

"Yeah, I think so." I give her a small smile and focus on the glass in front of me. "Thanks." Taking it from the counter, I take a long sip and try to calm myself. If I don't look at her all night, everything will be okay. Everything will be fine. "Thanks for asking me to join you."

"I'm amazed you're here." Her hand brushes my own that it resting on the counter as Eliza leans in a little, her elbow propping her up. "I expected a reply, but not the one I received."

"Sorry about last week." I give her an awkward look. "I had no right to show up at your door and demand answers."

"You did." She nods. "You had every right."

"Anyway, tonight is a fresh start." I shake my head. "None of that matters now…"

"It doesn't?" Eliza furrows her brow.

"No." I give her a sad smile. "I'm here as your neighbor. Maybe one day, you're friend." Maybe I came here with other things in mind, but the same woman she was kissing at the coffee shop opened the door to me and I don't want to be a part of anything involving another woman. I really don't. I don't have the patience or the time for it anymore. Her answering the door can only be a good thing for me. It means I can finally get Eliza off my mind…again.

"Right, yeah." She stands upright and clears her throat. "I'm sorry, anyway. If that counts for anything."

"It does." I give her an appreciative smile. "It does." Turning as she is called away, she straightens herself out and takes her own wine glass in her hand.

"Just give me a couple of minutes?" She asks. "I'll be right back."

"Don't worry." I wave her off. "I'm good here."

"These guys are all doctors." She smiles. "Go mingle…" Giving Eliza a nod, I watch her walk away and my eyes land on her perfect ass. _No, just no._ I know I shouldn't be watching her but I can't help it. If Ash hadn't been here, that conversation may have gone completely different, but she is…she is and I'm not prepared to fight for a woman who walked away from me. They are probably hot together, and I don't have it in me to compete anymore. I just want normal and relaxed. I've had the drama and I'm over it all.

Resting back against her kitchen counter, I glance around the room and find everyone talking in their own groups. I'm sure I'll be a part of that soon, but for now, I'm okay here. I'm okay watching on and going over my own thoughts in my head. It's what I do best, so why change the habit of a lifetime. "You're wasting your time…"

"I'm sorry?" I glance to my right and find Ash standing beside me.

"With Eliza…you're wasting your time."

"O...kay." I turn my attention back to the woman in question and take my wine glass between my teeth.

"She isn't looking for a relationship," Ash says, a scoff falling from her mouth. "All of a sudden." _Okay, she sounds pissed._ "Don't you hate it when women do that?"

"Do what?" I furrow my brow.

"Blow you off suddenly and just expect you to be friends?"

"I guess so, yeah." _I don't even know what is going on right now._ I mean, I don't know this woman. If I'm not careful, she will be going over her life story after another glass of wine. "So, you guys were a thing?"

"Mm…" She sips her wine. "Until we weren't."

"Sorry to hear that." I give her a sad smile. "Maybe you could try again?"

"Oh, no." She shakes her head. "It was good, but Eliza has made it clear that she wants to be alone. I don't know what is going on with her, but it's like we'd never even dated. She's suddenly become my best friend and its weird."

"Well, women are complex." I shrug. "We all know that."

"You're right." She smiles as she shifts a little closer to me. _Oh, no._ Inching away a little, I clear my throat and give Ash a smile.

"So, I'm just going to, you know…" Pointing at the people in front of us, I suddenly find myself moving towards Eliza and I can feel Ash's eyes burning through my back. _Don't turn around._ She's a lot. Way too much for me.

"Everything okay?" Eliza turns to face me as she steps away from the guys she was talking to.

"You told me to mingle." I shrug. "And your ex is a little weird."

"Don't." She holds up her hand. "Please, don't."

"Is that why you guys ended?" I ask, my eyebrow raised. "Too much for you to handle?"

"She's too full on for _anyone._ " She rolls her eyes and a laugh falls from my mouth. "Arizona, do you think maybe we could grab five minutes at some point?" I can see the pleading in her eyes and yeah, I think it would be nice to spend five minutes alone. Five minutes that don't include any harsh words or raised voices. Just us.

"Sure." I nod, the wine clearly going to my head sooner than I thought. "Come find me when you're free…"

"I'm always free for you." She gives me a small smile. "Let me grab a refill and we will go somewhere a little quieter."

"Okay." Heading back to the kitchen, she grabs the bottle of red I brought with me and motions for me to head to the front door. Heading out into the hallway, I furrow my brow and she clears her throat.

"Sorry, I just don't need anyone interrupting any time I can get with you." _Okay, that's sweet._ "But I'm sorry, I can't just be your neighbor."

"Yeah, that made me sound like an asshole," I admit. "I saw her and figured you guys were still together."

"No, not at all." Eliza disagrees. "I'm single. Completely single."

"I know that now." I smile. "Did you want to sit someplace?"

"Mm, the corridor floor is your favorite, right?" She rolls her eyes, playfully.

"Actually, I thought maybe my place?" I raise an eyebrow. "But if you want to sit out here…that works."

"N-No, your place is good." She quickly backtracks.

"Just for five…" I sigh. "I know you have to get back."

"Whatever." She shrugs. "They're all adults…they can get their own drinks." Giving me a slight smirk, I miss having this with someone. I miss having this with _her._ Eliza always was good for me but somewhere along the way, everything fell apart. Somewhere along the way, she believed I didn't care enough for her to stick around.

"Come on in." I push my apartment door open and turn back to find her closing it. "So, you wanted to talk?"

"Yes." She breathes out. "I meant what I said, Arizona. I don't want to just be your neighbor."

"I don't know what else we're supposed to do." I shrug as I shove my hands in the back pockets of my jeans. "I just…you left, Eliza. You left and I didn't know what I'd done wrong."

"You didn't do anything." She approaches me. Usually, I'd back away, but just like six months ago, I find myself drawn to her. "I'm to blame for it all."

"There must have been something…" I give her a knowing look. "You don't just walk out on someone like that."

"I know, but I did." She drops her gaze as she sets the wine bottle and our glasses down on my kitchen counter. "I swear, you didn't do anything wrong. You're perfect."

"That's a lie." I snort. "But you really hurt me, Eliza."

"I know but if you'll let me, I'm willing to spend my life trying to make it up to you…" Her eyes are telling me that she is being honest, but something within me is stopping me from giving in to her. Yes, I wanted nothing more than to be with her, but I'm tired of having my heart broken. I'm tired of being the one who has to pick up the pieces alone. "I know you don't trust me, and you have no reason to…but if you will give me a chance, I swear I'll make it up to you."

"All I wanted from you was a phone call." I sigh. "Something to tell me that you were okay."

"I know and I did come back." Her admission catching me off guard, it almost knocks me off my feet. "I came back but you were dating and I had no right to show up in your life…"

"You came back?" I ask, my brow furrowed. "When?"

"Two months after I left." I move towards the couch and she follows me. "I just wanted to talk to you. Explain everything face to face."

"But?"

"But I watched you leave the hospital with her and I knew I'd lost you." She gives me a sad smile. "I knew I'd totally ruined whatever we had going for us."

"You saw me with Carina…"

"If that's her name, yes." She agrees. "If you'd been alone, I'd have dragged you away from that place and kissed the face off of you. Before I'd have even explained myself, I'd have kissed you because it's all I'd wanted to do from the moment I left."

"Wow." _Okay, so now I want to kiss her._ "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because it didn't matter anymore." She shakes her head. "It didn't matter. I didn't matter."

"You always mattered to me," I say with complete honesty. "You mattered so much and I'm sorry if you felt that I couldn't be the person to see you through it all in Seattle."

"I wish I'd stayed." Her voice breaks. "I wish I'd been there to see you at home with Sofia. I wish I'd had the opportunity to meet your daughter and watch you guys live a happy life."

"Yeah, that didn't last long." I smile. "She missed New York."

"So, you moved back here with her?"

"I did." I nod. "She is my world and I realized that more than ever when she was skipping school and crying to come back home."

"Maybe I will get the chance to thank her one day."

"For what?" I ask, completely confused.

"Bringing you to New York." She smiles, her eyes brightening a little more. "Your life is always crazy busy but I'm so happy to see you, Arizona." She takes my hand in her own and it feels so good. Better than it's ever felt. "I know you don't feel the same way but please, if you ever think you can give me a chance, I'd really like to take you to dinner."

"Maybe we can just enjoy this evening and see where it goes?" I raise an eyebrow. "Just…friends."

"Friends." She smiles as she nods slowly. "If that is all you see with me then yeah…friends."

"It's not all I see with you." I squeeze her hand. "But it _is_ what I need right now." Standing, I pull Eliza up to her feet and straighten myself out. "Come on, everyone will wonder where you are."

"Mm, and suddenly I don't ever want to go back there." She releases a deep breath. "I know we need to talk and just you know, play this how you want to…but I _have_ missed you, Arizona. I've missed you more than you could ever even begin to imagine."

"You're sure you're okay with Sofia being around?"

"Honestly, I can't believe you have even just asked me that." She sighs. "Sofia is your child, Arizona. She is you. If I'm ever lucky enough to meet her, yeah…I'm more than okay with her being around. It was all I ever wanted for you."

"Thank you." I give her an appreciative smile. "Just…dating, when you have a kid, isn't as fun or as easy as when you're alone."

"So, I date you _and_ your kid." Eliza laughs. "Whatever I have to do to show you that I'm here."

"Come on." I throw my thumb over my shoulder. "Let's just enjoy each others company tonight."

"You don't know how much this means to me."

"I do." I breathe out. "Believe it or not, it means just as much to me." I don't know at what point this evening turned around for me, but it has. I'm not rushing into anything with Eliza or anyone else, but right now I'm feeling okay. I'm feeling good about spending the evening with her friends. Whatever else happens, I'll face it in that moment.

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 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.**


	4. Chapter 4

**I Can't Make You Love Me**

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Chapter Four

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ARIZONA'S POV

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"Hey, Callie." Smiling when I hear my daughter laughing in the background, my heart skips a beat. "You guys doing okay?"

"Sure." My ex-wife agrees. "Just checking in with you."

"That's sweet but you don't have to do that. I'm okay."

"I know you are." Her voice is sincere. "I still want to check in."

"Fair enough." I sigh. "Could, um…could you be a friend for a minute?" I have things on my mind and I don't know who else to talk it out with. "I mean, it's totally fine if you don't want to…"

"Talk to me, Arizona."

"Just...remember the woman in the coffee shop a couple of weeks ago?" I ask.

"You mean your ex?"

"Okay, how did you know that?" I roll my eyes. "I know we know each other well, Callie, but really?"

"First of all, I could tell by the way you were looking at her. Second, I could tell by the way she was looking at you…and third, you forget that I still have friends at Grey Sloan."

"Damn it." Clenching my jaw, I hate how my ex-wife knows me so well. I mean, I'd be worried if she didn't know me so well but at the same time, it pisses me off. "Who told you?"

"Who do you think?"

"Meredith freaking Grey." I grit my teeth. "Why does my life have to be broadcast for the world?"

"It wasn't like that." She tries to reassure me. "I just asked her how you were doing and I guess she thought I wanted to know who you were dating."

"Yeah, because she never could keep her nose out of anyone else's business."

"Arizona, you're deflecting."

"Right, yeah." I sigh. "So, Eliza…"

"Eliza Minnick, yeah." I know she is trying to rile me up but it won't work. I should've known that Callie would know about my life. That's one of the things I won't miss about Seattle. I won't miss the ability to live a private life without everyone else getting involved or having an opinion. It's possibly the whole reason why Eliza didn't think I cared if she stayed or not anyway. "What about her?"

"She lives in my block," I state.

"No way." My ex-wife laughs. "I'm sorry, but that's fate. Before you say anything else, it is."

"That isn't what I'm asking." I furrow my brow. "But she has been contacting me. I mean, I was there last night."

"Oh, you were, huh?" I know she is smiling right now but I don't want this to turn into some kind of joke. I seriously want her opinion, however weird that may seem. "Good night?"

"Callie," I say with a warning tone.

"Sorry." She clears her throat. "So, what seems to be the issue?"

"She left me." I breathe out. "Back in Seattle, something happened and she literally left me. She packed up her things and she left."

"Were you guys serious?"

"It felt serious," I reply. "It felt really serious."

"That's asshole behavior." Callie scoffs. "I'm guessing she now wants you back?"

"Yeah."

"And you don't know what to do?" She quizzes.

"No, I really don't know what to do." I hate this. I hate being unsure of a relationship. A relationship I know has the potential to be everything I want and more. "And I know you can't give me the answers I need but do you think I can do this? Do you think I can give someone my all again?"

"Arizona, you know you can," Callie reassures me. "You know you have so much to give. Eliza must know that too or she wouldn't be trying to get you back."

"I do?" I ask, my voice laced with confusion. "I have something to give?"

"We may have ended how we did but it was never about you as a person. You are amazing and you know that you deserve to find someone. You know you deserve it more than most." _Wow. I didn't expect that from her. Not at all._ "You want to know what I think?"

"I do."

"Well, what's the worst that could happen?" She perks up. "Have a little fun. Just go with it. Maybe hold back some but enjoy yourself. Enjoy it all before you have to go back to work and your life truly returns to normal."

"I need my normal." I sigh. "It's the only thing that makes me feel like I'm functioning properly."

"You're doing great, Arizona." I can feel Callie smiling. "And you know you've got this."

"I don't feel like I have."

"Maybe not." She agrees. "But, is it worth stopping it all before it's started again? I get that she hurt you but from what I've heard, I'd have left too after the stuff that went on at Grey Sloan."

"You would?"

"I mean, I'd like to believe that I wouldn't have, but they really put her through it, Arizona. Meredith thought that it was funny when she was relaying it all back to me but I called her out on her crap. Nobody deserves to be treated that way. At the end of the day, we're all there to save lives. Nobody needs to behave or believe that they're better than anyone else."

"You called her out on it?"

"I did." She sighs. "She wasn't happy but that's just tough. Sure, Richard is a good man, but change comes all the time. You and I know that better than most. Hell, Mer knows that so she shouldn't be putting people down like she does. It's not right and she will lose friends over it before too long."

"Calliope Torres, you are great." I close my eyes and smile. "Really great."

"Uh, I know." She snorts. "And so are you."

"Thank you."

"Now, you can either come and join Sofia and I while we paint some mean pictures or you can enjoy the rest of your weekend…hopefully with Eliza."

"I'll think about it." I sigh, a little more hopeful than before I called my ex-wife.

"Whatever, but there really isn't anything to think about." She says. "Tell her what you expect. Tell her you're not prepared to chase her and that you deserve better than what she has given you so far. Just...be you, Arizona."

"Thank you, Callie."

"It's what I'm here for." She clears her throat. "It's the least I can do."

"I'll call you in the morning, okay?"

"Just do your thing. Sofia is okay…" I know Callie is trying to reassure me and honestly, I appreciate it more than ever right now. "See you tomorrow." Our call ending, I find a message waiting on the screen of my phone and yeah, my heart just skipped a beat.

 ** _I noticed last night that you hadn't even unpacked your TV. I may or may not have your favorite movie about to start soon. E x_**

 ** _No way? Arizona x_**

 ** _Way! E x_**

Okay, she's persistent…I'll give her that. She's persistent and she's thoughtful. She's observant. I mean, even I'd forgotten I hadn't unpacked my TV and I'm the one sitting here in silence right now. Maybe I should just throw caution to the wind and head to her place. It's just a movie. It's just a movie with the one woman I was falling in love with for the first time in a long time. _Okay, I need a moment to think about this._ Callie's words replaying in my head, a small smile curls on my mouth and I instantly hit a reply off to Eliza.

 ** _Give me ten. Arizona x_**

* * *

ELIZA'S POV

 _Shit, she's coming over._ Well, she's only two doors away but yeah, I'm about to spend at least a few hours with Arizona and my heart is pounding in my chest right now. I didn't expect a reply from her at all. We drank quite a lot last night but we kept things platonic between us. We kept our distance to an extent and we had an awesome night with each other. When everyone else left, Arizona left. I wasn't offended by it, not at all. I get that she needs time and space to process all of this and she knows I will give her that. I was literally trying my luck when I sent off that message a little while ago and it totally paid off. _Maybe last night meant something to her._ Just like it meant something to me. Well, not something…everything.

I know we can't be anything right now but I'm okay with that. Having her in my home is good enough for me. I meant what I said, though. I meant it when I told her I understood that she and Sofia came as a package. If I'm ever lucky enough to be a part of their life, I'll grab it with both hands. Sure, I've never met her daughter but she's a part of Arizona so I know she will be awesome. I don't expect her to take to me immediately, but I can work with that. Whatever Arizona and Sofia need, I can totally do that. _I just hope Callie would be okay with it._ Whoa, I'm totally getting ahead of myself here. Arizona hasn't expressed any desire to have me in her life in that capacity and I'd do well to remember that. I can't get my hopes up. Not until she gives me something more than what I've been given so far. _Friends. She wants to be friends._ I think I can work with that, but for how long…I don't know.

Maybe she will decide she can't do it. Maybe I hurt her too much to ever have a true friendship with Arizona. I want to try, though. I want to be what she needs until she has decided if I'm worth her time and attention. Personally, I don't think I am but I'm trying. I'm trying and I really want this to work. _I need it to work._ I've never been a needy person, but Arizona makes me need her. Her presence is something else and even though I've been in New York for some six months, I haven't felt this settled. I haven't felt as relaxed as I do since the moment I watched her move in two doors away from me.

Pulled from my thoughts by the woman who is consuming them, I climb from the couch and rush to the door. I don't want her standing outside while I'm figuring all of this out, so we will grab a movie together and just go with it. Maybe we will order in if she wants to hang out a little longer but I really don't want to pressure her. She knows she doesn't have to be here but I know once she steps inside this door, I won't ever want her to leave. Releasing a deep breath, I clear my throat and pull my apartment door open. "Hi." I give her a full smile.

"Hey…" Glancing down her body, she's chosen comfort and she looks as gorgeous as ever. "Um, can I come in?"

"Sorry, right…yeah." _Come on, Minnick. Keep it together._ I know I'm going to struggle to keep my eyes off her for the time she is here, but just like everything else…I will try. Closing the door once my ex is inside, she heads straight to the couch and pulls her feet up onto the coffee table. _Okay, I like that._ Seeing her here like this is something I could definitely get used to. I know it's not my place to say it, but I can at least think it, right? "Can I get you something to drink?"

"Weather is kinda crappy…"

"It is." I furrow my brow, unsure of where this conversation is going.

"You got hot chocolate?" She glances over her shoulder and raises her eyebrow. _Wow._ "If not, coffee will be fine."

"Hot chocolate it is." My smile widens. "You know, it's kind of amazing that you decided to come by…"

"I may have had some words with myself." She shrugs, her eyes focusing on the TV in front of her. "Also, some encouragement."

"O...kay." I'm hoping she will elaborate on that but I'm not sure she is going to. "Did yo-"

"I asked Callie for some advice." She laughs. "You know, my ex-wife who left me and divorced me…before taking my kid to another state?"

"Y-Yeah, I know who Callie is." I clear my throat. "Encouragement?" I ask.

"She knows who you are…"

"I know she does." Arizona turns in her seat and faces me a little better. "Well, I'd hope she would since we work at the same hospital."

"What?" She furrows her brow. "She never said…"

"I mean, we don't hang out." I shrug. "But yeah, we work together."

"Why wouldn't she tell me that?" Arizona looks confused but that is a question she will have to ask her ex-wife. "I don't understand."

"Maybe she didn't want to get involved? I suggest. "Maybe she figured it wasn't her place to say…"

"Maybe I'm going to have words with her, too." She grits her teeth. "Fucking hell."

"Hey…" I round the counter and set two large mugs down. "Callie has been nothing but respectful towards me. This isn't her business and I appreciate her not getting involved."

"Me too, I guess." Arizona sighs. "I just always feel out of the loop and I hate that."

"I know." I give her a sad smile. "But you're here and I'm here. I don't want you to be mad at her. She didn't even tell me you were coming back. She is totally neutral in all of this and I love that about her. I pushed my opinion of her aside and she's actually really great."

"She is." Arizona agrees, a small smile curling on her mouth. "I'm still going to kill her with my bare hands, though."

"Arizona, relax." I give her a pleading look. "I know she kept it from you but it's not the end of the world. Surely that tells you she isn't going to get involved. Surely, that is what you want, no?"

"Of course." She nods. "I still expected the truth from her."

"Well, you can take that up with her another time." I hit play on the controller. "Right now, you are here and it's more than I could ask for."

"I'm sorry." She gives me an apologetic smile. "I'm happy you text me, I really am."

"Good." I settle back on the couch and mirror Arizona's position. "Now, movie."

 _I had to stop her rambling. The more she rambles, the more I want to silence her with a kiss._

* * *

Arizona seems okay right now. I mean, she was a little shocked to learn that Callie and I know each other, but it really isn't how I imagine she thinks it is. When I started at the hospital, she was a little weird with me. I figured Arizona had told her about me when we were dating but she hadn't. Meredith Grey had once again opened her mouth to help with the forming of an opinion for everyone else. I was never fond of that woman, but her running her mouth kinda helped me in a way. Once I'd found my feet at the hospital, Callie came to me one day and told me what she thought about everything. She knew Arizona and I had dated purely because I'd put my foot in it, but she didn't know I'd walked away from her ex-wife. I guess she just thought it hadn't gone anywhere and she left it at that. I don't know if Arizona has told her about my behavior, but Torres actually kinda became a friend to me. I still hate what she did to Arizona by leaving Seattle with Sofia, but it wasn't my place to have an opinion or a say on it so I didn't. I did my work and Callie did hers.

It's no secret that she is an amazing surgeon, so I focused on that and the rest slowly slipped away. When I first realized I would be working with her, I wondered if I could do it. I wondered if I would be able to keep quiet about my opinion of her but I quickly realized it wasn't my business. I quickly realized that Arizona's marriage wasn't any of my concern and it never would be. That was only confirmed when I watched Arizona move in and Callie didn't tell me. I spent an entire week working with her and she didn't once mention that her ex-wife was back. At first, that unsettled me. Why? Because I thought maybe she wanted her back. I thought she had failed to tell me so she could beat me to it. I know they share a child together and I know they've had a world together, but it turns out I was wrong. If Callie is encouraging Arizona to be here and to spend time with me, I was totally wrong about her intentions.

The sound of _Whitney Houston: Run to you_ sounding in the background as The Bodyguard plays on my TV, I glance at Arizona and find her smiling to herself. She loves this movie and I knew once it began playing, I wouldn't get two words from her. Reminded of the time when we first watched this together, my own smile curls on my mouth and my emotions suddenly hit me full force. "I, uh…can I get you anything?" I climb from my seat.

"No, I'm good, thank you." She glances at me briefly only to fix her eyes back on the screen. "You okay?" She asks.

"Sure, yeah." I clear my throat. "Just...I'll be right back."

"Okay." Disappearing into the bathroom, I close the door and take a seat on the edge of the bathtub. Unshed tears in my eyes, I blink and one slips down my face. _God, I miss her._ I know she is here and she is giving me her time but I miss her so much. I always have. Brushing it from my jawline, I release a deep breath and stand. I have to keep my composure. If I don't, Arizona will run. I know she will. She's told me she needs friendship right now and I agreed. I agreed but I'm not sure I can come good on my promise. I'm not sure I can sit here for the foreseeable and watch her from afar. Yes, I'm sitting right beside her but we are a million miles away in terms of where I'd like us to be. "Eliza?"

"Y-Yeah?" I clear my voice of any emotion.

"Is everything okay?" She asks, her voice soft. "You kinda disappeared." Quickly making myself look a little more presentable, I check myself over in the mirror and hope to god she doesn't know I've been crying.

"Yeah." I pull the door open and step out. "Of course."

"You've been crying…" She furrows her brow.

"Oh, just the movie." I smile. "I'm good."

"Want me to turn it off?" She suggests, her eyebrow raised.

"No, I asked you here so we could watch it together." I give her a small smile as I clear my throat again and head for the kitchen. "Would you mind if I had a glass of wine?"

"Um, no." She laughs. "So long as you have one for me, too."

"Coming right up." I give my ex a full smile as she heads back to the couch. "Did, uh…did you want me to order in or something?"

"Oh, I should probably get back after the movie." She glances back at me. "But thank you."

"Yeah…" Bracing myself against the kitchen counter, my back is to Arizona but I just need a moment. I knew once she came here I wouldn't be able to let her go and that is exactly what is happening right now. I don't want her to leave once the credits roll. I don't want her to go back to her lonely apart while I spend my evening in mine.

"What's up?" Feeling her hand settle on the small of my back, I suddenly turn to face her, my fake smile plastered on my face.

"Headache." I lie.

"Can I get you something?"

"No, I'll be okay." I sigh. "Go and watch your movie. I'll be right there with the wine."

"Maybe I should just go." She throws her thumb over her shoulder and backs up a little.

"No!" I startle her. "I mean, please stay? Just…I don't want you to leave yet."

"Eliza, you look like you want to be _anywhere_ but here with me right now." She gives me a knowing look. "And that's okay."

"I don't want you to leave." I reach out and take her hand in my own. _God, I want to pull her in close but I can't._ I can't do anything to jeopardize this right now. "The movie hit me a little harder than I thought it would."

"Yeah, it's a good movie." She smiles.

"No, I mean watching it with you." I drop my gaze. "The first night we spent together, we watched it."

"We did." Her smile widens.

"I just didn't expect to feel how I'm feeling being here with you again, is all. I'm okay, though. Please…stay?"

"How are you feeling?" She questions. "Bad, or?"

"No." I shake my head. "Not bad at all. Just…like I lost the world when I left Seattle."

"The world?" She gives me a look of confusion.

"You." I give her a sad smile. "I know you could've been my world and I've completely ruined that."

"Eliza…"

"I know you're here and I know you are trying to do the right thing but I'm fooling myself. To think I could ever have someone like you back in my life, yeah…I'm fooling myself. I don't deserve you. I don't deserve any of this."

"Come and sit with me." She tugs my hand and leaves the glasses of wine on the counter. Dropping down on the couch, I take a seat beside her and run my fingers through my hair. "Stop worrying and rambling. Just…relax."

 _It's hard to relax when the one woman you want…doesn't want you._

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.**


	5. Chapter 5

**I Can't Make You Love Me**

* * *

Chapter Five

* * *

ARIZONA'S POV

* * *

I've been home for a little over an hour now and I've got the fact that Callie knows Eliza on my mind. Sure, I've had a great evening but I didn't expect what she said to hit me so hard. I mean, why wouldn't Callie tell me something like that? Why wouldn't she tell me that she was working with my ex? Sure, I didn't know she knew and I only told her about Eliza earlier today, but she knew all along and she didn't even bring it up. That's the kind of thing I'd expect to hear. To know. If they work together, yeah…I definitely expected to know. Pulling my cell from my back pocket, I pull up my last conversation with my ex-wife and send off a message.

 ** _Why didn't you tell me you work with her? Arizona x_**

 ** _Because it's none of my business. C x_**

 ** _Maybe not but I still thought you would've told me, Cal. Did she ever talk about me to you? Arizona x_**

 ** _No, we didn't discuss you. C x_**

Okay, so that makes me feel a little better. The idea of my two exes holding conversations about me is what I was worried about most but thankfully, that wasn't the case. As far as I'm being told anyway.

 ** _Don't keep things like that from again, please. Arizona x_**

 ** _I'm sorry but I don't regret not telling you. You had to figure things out yourself, Arizona. I didn't tell you because you were deciding whether to move to NY. I also didn't know she left you. All I knew was that you dated. Nothing more. C x_**

 ** _Okay…_**

Locking my cell, I give myself a moment to process what has happened this evening. Eliza didn't want me to leave earlier but I had to. If I hadn't, I don't know what would've happened. Yes, I want to do this without any rushing, but being with her and watching a movie with her kinda threw me a little. I mean, I didn't expect to sit there wanting to kiss her as much as I did. Every time I thought about it, I stopped myself. I stopped myself because I'm not sure I'm in the right frame of mind for all of this right now. I'm not sure it's a good idea, even though deep down, it's all I want. I know she hurt me but I'm in a new state, a new city and I want to begin again. None of my past matters right now. None of it is important because I can't change any of it. It happened and we both have to live with that. Eliza more so than me.

The sound of a light knocking on my door, I furrow my brow and approach the hardwood separating me from whoever is on the other side. Pulling it open, I find Eliza standing before me, with tears in her eyes. "Is everything okay?" I furrow my brow. "Eliza?"

"You said you were falling for me…" She cries. "Before I left…"

"I was." I agree.

"But not anymore, right?" She wipes tears from her jawline and seeing her like this is breaking my heart. "I mean, why would you?"

"Did you want to come inside?" I ask, holding out my hand. "I don't want to do this with you out in the corridor."

"No, thank you." She drops her gaze. "I just need to know one thing. One thing before I let you get on with your life…"

"Okay…" I study her posture. She looks tired. Worn out.

"Will you ever forgive me?"

"I do forgive you." I breathe out. "I wouldn't have spent the last two evenings with you if I didn't."

"All I want is to kiss you." She closes her eyes. "I want to kiss you and make you forget everything I did. I just…god, I don't even know why I'm here." She backs away.

"Come inside…" I grip her wrist and pull her in a little closer. "Please?"

"I can't." She shakes her head. "I have to not see you anymore until you've decided if you can go to dinner with me. If you can be something more with me."

"I don't want you to avoid me." I give her a sad smile. "I do want you to come inside, though."

"Arizona, I hurt you." Her shoulders slump. "I hurt you so much and I know that now. I know that you are probably trying to decide if you trust me or not and that is okay. It's okay because I _should_ be home alone and be wondering if I can ever make you happy again. I deserve the cold shoulder from you…"

"Today has been a long day and I think we could both use some sleep…"

"I just want you to know that I wasn't falling for you." Her eyes find mine and my heart sinks into my stomach. _I knew she didn't feel the same._ "I'd already fallen for you long before I left." _Oh._

"Oh."

"And I know that doesn't change anything. My words…they don't change anything." She shakes my grip from her wrist. "But you deserved to know anyway."

Watching her walk away, my body feels less tense than it did earlier this evening. I've been too busy trying to stop myself from kissing her that I didn't recognize when she was struggling. I mean, the crying in the bathroom and the inability to look at me. Yeah, I should've known she had things on her mind. I should've known that she wanted to talk some more. Now I feel awful. Now I feel like a complete bitch. She doesn't need me sitting beside her and holding back how I feel. She needs my honesty. Even if it doesn't come to anything right now, she should know that I do want something more with her. When though, I don't quite know.

Closing my apartment door and locking up for the night, I think it's probably best if I give Eliza some time to herself. I know she is struggling but so am I. A good night's sleep never did anyone any harm, and I know I need it right now. I know I need to just lie in a dark room and think about the time I've spent with my ex these past two days. I won't lie, it's been good to be around Eliza, but I have to know that it's what I want. I have to be sure so nobody gets hurt.

 _Who am I kidding? I know I want her…_

* * *

Waking to the early morning sun streaming through my bedroom window, I must have fallen asleep at some point during my major thinking process. Glancing down my body, I'm wrapped up in the sheet and feeling super lonely this morning. I don't know why I'm feeling that way but hearing Eliza tell me that she had fallen for me back in Seattle has been playing on my mind. God, it played on my mind all night. Yes, I feel well rested but I need more. I need to not be alone here each morning. I need to not be alone when I close my eyes each night. I know that isn't going to happen any time soon, but Eliza deserves to know that she is all I can think about. If we are feeling the same way, then yeah…I have to tell her. Speak to her.

Climbing from my bed, I take a seat on the edge and give myself a moment to get my bearings. Mornings can sometimes be hard work for me if I've been working late and my leg gives me trouble but since I arrived in New York, they've been a walk in the park. Not being on my feet for at least twelve hours a day has been nice, and my leg would have to agree. I love my job, but at times…it's tiring. Simply because I don't have the luxury of two legs anymore. _It feels good to feel refreshed each day._ Fixing my prosthetic in place, I climb to my feet and run my fingers through my hair. I'm already wearing shorts right now so I'll grab a tee for the time being and shower when I've been to see Eliza. I hardly need to rush anything and today, I will tell her how I feel before I collect my daughter. So long as she knows, I won't send myself insane all day long wondering if she is okay.

Making my way into the bathroom, I brush my teeth and pull my hair up into a messy bun on the top of my head. I don't have time to make myself look how I want, and I need to move my ass before Eliza begins her day. I don't know if she has any plans but I'm hoping I can at least spend a little time with her. Even just a few minutes. I'll take that right now. I've spent the entire night with her on my mind, so yeah…I'll take a few minutes if I can get that. Heading for the door, I unlock it and decide against taking my cell. Callie won't be calling me any time soon, so the less interruption, the better. Stepping out into the corridor and pulling my door shut, my keys are gripped in my hand and I don't feel any nerves whatsoever. Sure, I have that butterfly feeling in the pit of my stomach, but it's a good feeling. A feeling I haven't felt in a long time.

Knocking a little louder than I usually would, I hear movement behind the door and it opens immediately. "Oh, um…" Met by Ash, I clear my throat and glance over her shoulder. "Is Eliza around?"

"Yeah." She shrugs. "We are just a little busy right now."

"Sure, yeah." I give her a fake smile.

"I'll tell her you called?"

"Oh, no." I shake my head. "It's okay, it wasn't anything important. I'll just see her around."

"O...kay." She furrows her brow as she glances down my body, my prosthetic on show. "Um…"

"See ya." Turning, I head back to my apartment and try to keep my composure for a moment longer. I know Ash is watching me walk away and I need her to not see me break down. I don't know why I'm about to cry, but I know I am. I know I am because I hoped I'd be the one to spend the morning with Eliza. Not Ash. _She said she didn't want anything with her._ Maybe I've got it wrong, but I don't feel like I have. I don't feel like I know anything right now.

Closing my door behind me, I don't bother to lock it and move straight to the couch. I need five minutes before I go to Callie's place. I need a moment before I show up at my ex-wife's home and possibly break down in front of her. _Fuck!_ A knock on my door causing me to wipe the tears from my jawline, I release a deep breath and close my eyes. "Hello? Arizona?" My door opening, I glance over at the head poking around the door and give Eliza a sad smile. "Hey, what's wrong?"

"Nothing." I wave off her concern. "Just taking five before I collect Sofia."

"Ash said you had come by." She steps into my home and closes the door. "You wanted to see me?"

"It wasn't anything important." I clear my throat. "I should really get ready…"

"Okay." She nods. "But you came by for a reason."

"Just...wanted to see you." I drop my gaze. "I should've text you first."

"Why? You can come by and see me whenever you like." She furrows her brow and the couch dips beside me. "You've been crying…"

"Mm, nothing new." I scoff. "You know, I've had a great weekend hanging out with you." I give her a genuine smile. "But I think we should call this off."

"N-No." She shakes her head. "Just…no."

"I came by to talk to you. T-To be with you." I clear my throat. "I came by with the intention of kissing you." A tear slips down my face. "But she was there and I can't do this, Eliza. I can't wonder if I'm second best to someone else. I can't wonder what you both are. I know we aren't anything right now, but I just can't."

"That was work, Arizona." She takes my hand in her own. "That was nothing more than work."

"Maybe." I sigh. "But I don't know…"

"You know I don't want anything with her." She brings my hand up to her lips and presses a kiss to my skin. "You know exactly how I feel…"

"How do you feel?" I furrow my brow.

"Like I want to fall in love with you." She smiles. "Like I made the biggest mistake of my life when I walked away and left you." She shifts in her seat. "And yeah, I want nothing more than to kiss you right now."

"Kiss me…" My words are barely audible and my eyes are fixed on her own. "I need you to kiss me, Eliza." Her soft hand grazing the back of my neck, she pulls me in closer and my heart pounds in my chest. Eliza always kissed me with everything that she had and I know that now isn't going to be any different. I can see it in her eyes. I can see how much she wants this.

"I've missed you…" Her lips ghost over my own and my body shudders at the slightest touch from her. "And I know I have a long way to go to prove I'm all in, but I am."

"I know you are…" My lips inch closer to hers. "I know." Her gorgeous mouth covering my own, my hand fists in her blouse and my mind races. Pulling her in impossibly close, my other hand finds her thigh and right now, this kiss can never end. It just can't. It feels too good. Too right. It feels exactly how it's supposed to, and I don't ever want to let her go.

"Oh god." Her forehead rests against my own, her breathing erratic. "Arizona." Taking her bottom lip between her teeth, Eliza's eyes close and a small smile curls on my lips.

"I want you, Eliza," I say with complete certainty. "I know things are up in the air right now, but I want this, okay?"

"You do?" Her eyes find mine as her thumb ghosts over my bottom lip. "You're sure?"

"I'm sure, Eliza." My cell buzzing on the coffee table and breaking us apart, I release a sigh and realize that we're about to head back into the real world. "Sorry…"

"It's okay." She runs her palms down her thighs. "Did you want me to leave, or?"

"No, stay there." My hand squeezes her thigh. "It's just Callie."

 ** _I've been called into the hospital. Midday. I'm sorry. C x_**

"Oh, you have to collect Sofia. I'm sorry, I forgot."

"Mm, me too." I glance her way, a small smile on my mouth. "I have an hour…"

 ** _No problem. I'll be over soon. Arizona x_**

"O…kay." She studies my face. "Can I stay for that hour or did you want me to just call you through the week?"

"Through the week?"

"Well, I don't know what your plans are." She shrugs. "I mean, I want to see you before the end of the week, but I know things have changed."

"Yeah." I run my fingers through my hair. "They have." I know Sofia is going to love Eliza, but I'm not sure what an appropriate amount of time to wait is. I feel like I messed up with Carina and I don't want to put my daughter or Eliza through that. If neither of them is ready, that's okay. Sofia is only just getting back into a routine and Eliza didn't know I had my daughter back until I came to New York. This is new in what will one day be a relationship again and I don't know how to approach it. "We will take it slow, okay?"

"Whatever you want." She gives me a genuine smile. "But, I am going to leave now because you have things to do and I have some paperwork that won't complete itself."

"Okay." I nod as she stands and pulls me up to my feet. "Thank you for coming by."

"Thank you for not asking me to leave and hearing me out." Her hand settling on my hip, she smiles into another kiss and it feels just as good as the last. "I do want to take you out to dinner when you are free, okay?"

"Okay." A final kiss on her lips, it's taking everything within me right to hold back. I want her to hang out here with me but I understand that she has work to do. I will soon be back in that situation and honestly, I don't miss it. I don't miss it because I now have Eliza back in my life as well as Sofia. How I'm going to fit time in for all of this I don't know, but it will work. I will make it work and we will make it something beautiful. "I'll see you soon…"

"You will." Eliza gives me one of her gorgeous smiles. "Goodbye, Arizona."

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.**


	6. Chapter 6

**I Can't Make You Love Me**

* * *

Chapter Six

* * *

ELIZA'S POV

* * *

 _Maybe I should just show up at her door._ No, I can't do that. Sofia is home and her daughter has no idea who I even am. She doesn't know that I exist and Arizona may want it to remain that way. She may not be ready to introduce her daughter to me and that is perfectly fine. Her daughter is the most important thing in all of this and if I have to wait and just go with what Arizona wants, then that is what I have to do. I have to be patient and when the time is right, I'll be here and ready to do whatever I have to do to make Arizona and Sofia happy. I would never try to replace Callie, but if meeting their daughter is okay with her, yeah…I would really love for that to happen. I mean, they're both down the hall from me right now and honestly, I'm struggling to _not_ contact her. I'm struggling to _not_ send her a text or just drop by. I wouldn't ever drop by without her say so, but I'm finding it harder the more I sit here and think about the kiss we shared this morning. _God, that kiss._ That kiss I thought would never happen. That kiss I've dreamt about for so long. Yeah, that kiss has totally changed my day and I haven't even picked up the paperwork I came back to my place to finish. Why? I can't get that kiss out of my head. I can't get the taste of Arizona off my lips. Her hands, I can still feel them on my thighs. My own on her body. _Fuck, that kiss meant the absolute world to me._ It was everything I imagined it to be. It was everything I remembered it used to be. It was the same…but so much more. I don't know how Arizona is feeling about it, but I hope to god she doesn't regret it. I'm not sure I could cope with the possibility of her changing her mind about us. I don't think she will, but if she chooses to stop what we have slowly starting, there is nothing I could do about it. If she believes she is making a mistake, it is something I would have to live with. _Okay, maybe I'll just send her a small message._ You know, just to calm myself. Our morning ended pretty abruptly and I couldn't quite get a read on how she was feeling. Yes, she said she wanted it, she wanted me…but two minutes later, I was heading out of her door. That wasn't her fault. It wasn't anybody's fault. Still, I'd like to reassure myself. No harm done.

 ** _Hey, so I'm thinking next weekend for dinner if you don't have any plans. Call me in a few days. I'm here whenever you need me. E x_**

Right, the ball is in her court now. I've said and done what I needed to do and now I've expressed my suggestion for dinner. It would be totally fine if Arizona already had plans and I fully expect that to happen, but at least she knows I'm thinking about her. At least she knows that she is on my mind. _She's always on my mind._ Kicking my feet up onto the coffee table, I hold my cell securely in my hand and pray that Arizona will respond. It's a little before five in the evening so she is probably sharing dinner with her daughter, but I'm hoping she will at least reply at some point tonight. If she doesn't, that is when I will begin to worry.

A knock on my apartment door pulling me from all thoughts of Arizona, I stand and approach the heavy wooden door, pulling it open slowly. "Hi." I glance down and find a child resembling Callie Torres looking up at me.

"Hi." She gives me a toothy grin. "I'm Sofia Robbin Sloan Torres."

"Hi, Sofia Robbin Sloan Torres." I give her a full smile. _Okay, this kid is freaking adorable._ "Can I help you with something?"

"We made pizza." She shrugs. "Mommy wants us to share with you."

"She does?" I poke my head around the door and find Arizona leaning against the wall outside her apartment, a full smile on her gorgeous mouth.

"Mmhmm." Sofia nods. "You can share mine. I ate _a lot_ of ice cream today."

"That is super kind of you." I grab my keys from beside the door and step out into the corridor. "You know, I kinda _love_ ice cream." She looks up at me with a full smile.

"We have that too." She takes my hand and pulls me down the hall. "Eliza, come on…" Letting my hand go when we reach her apartment, Sofia rushes inside and Arizona gives me a full smile.

"Hi." I clear my throat, my mind still in shock from what has just happened.

"Hi." Pressing a kiss to my lips, I won't lie…that feels amazing. I didn't expect this so soon but I'm totally ready to get to know Sofia. More than ready, actually. "You wanna stay for dinner?"

"I'd love to." I give her my best smile. "You're sure this is okay, though?"

"It's more than okay." She takes my hand in her own and guides me inside her apartment. "I've told Sofia who you are and she wanted to meet you. She said you should have dinner with us so you aren't eating alone."

"Okay, that's ridiculously adorable." My smile widens and my face hurts. "Is Callie okay with this?"

"It isn't any of her business." Arizona shrugs as she closes the door. Sofia is down in the bathroom washing up before dinner so it gives me a moment alone with this gorgeous blonde in front of me. "Callie knows we are working things out and she knows Sofia is going to be spending time with you."

"But she's okay with it?" I ask again. "I don't want to get in the way."

"She's fine." Arizona tries to reassure me. "Sofia has spent plenty of time living with another woman and I had no choice…Callie doesn't either." Shrugging, she moves into the kitchen and pulls two pizzas from the oven. "You know you have to share with my kid, right?"

"Oh, yeah." I laugh. "She made that clear."

"Good, because she will insist." She gives me a knowing look. "She's a good kid and she's going to love you, Eliza."

"God, I hope so." I breathe out. "Don't want this going wrong in any way."

"It won't." She shakes her head. "No, it _can't._ " I appreciate that she is trying, but I honestly don't know what I've done to deserve this. To deserve Arizona…Sofia too. "You working tomorrow?"

"I am." I pull myself up on a stool by the kitchen island and sigh. "Kinda don't want to now that we are working on things but work will always be there getting in the way."

"Yeah, it will." Arizona agrees. "So, I feel like I left things a little up in the air this morning."

"Don't worry about it." I wave off her concern. "I know you have to take care of things here and I wouldn't expect that to ever change." The sound of the bathroom door clicking, Arizona gives me a smile and our discussion ends.

"Eliza?" Sofia comes hurtling down the hall and rushes into the kitchen. "Are you mommy's Penny?"

"I, uh…" Furrowing my brow, I give Arizona a look of confusion and she turns to face Sofia.

"What do you mean, Sof?"

"Like Penny?" She shrugs. "Is Eliza the same as Penny?" Turning back to face me, she moves a little closer. "Penny was Mama's girlfriend." She tells me like it's some kind of secret.

"Oh, right." Arizona realizes what her daughter is saying but I'm still a little lost. "What you're asking is, is Eliza mommy's girlfriend?"

"Yes." She rolls her eyes and a slight laugh falls from my mouth. I think it may be nerves, but this kid is hilarious. "Are you?"

"Um, I-"

"Of course, she is." Arizona cuts me off when she recognizes the rambling I'm about to get myself into. "And that is okay?"

"Yep." Sofia nods. "You're pretty, Eliza."

"Oh." This kid is making me blush and I honestly wasn't prepared for this. "That's sweet."

"Don't you think she's pretty, mommy?" Her daughter focuses her eyes on Arizona and gives her a questioning look.

"Beautiful." She breathes out. "Really beautiful." Smirking, a smile curls on my mouth and I'm silently thanking her for being so forgiving. Watching as Sofia disappears and heads for the dining table, I focus my eyes back on Arizona and watch as she prepares dinner, a smile of her own settling on her mouth.

"Hey…" I lower my tone and she finds my eyes. "How old is Sofia?"

"Seven." She smiles. "Why?"

"Your seven year old is matchmaking…" I laugh. "Not how I expected this evening to go…"

"What can I say?" She shrugs before throwing me a wink. "She learned from the best."

* * *

Settling down on the couch, I thought about leaving after dinner but Arizona insisted I stick around. I won't lie, it feels good to be here, but I don't want the whole 'too much too soon' situation to come into play. I'm sure she would've said goodbye earlier if she had wanted me gone, but she didn't. She didn't and now she is about to put Sofia to bed. _Maybe I'll just hang out here a little longer._ You know, grab five minutes with the woman who told her daughter I was her girlfriend not so long ago. Yeah, that totally caught me off guard but I tried not to show it. I tried not to show that I didn't have a clue what was going on. Sure, we have stuff like that to discuss but I guess Sofia kinda shocked the both of us when she brought it up. _It's no big deal if she didn't mean it._ It will happen one day.

"Night, Eliza." Sofia yawns as her bare feet hit the hardwood floor and approach me.

"Goodnight, Sofia." Giving her a smile, she pulls me into a hug. "Oh." Her arms wrapping around my neck, I wrap her up in a hug and I can feel Arizona watching me from the kitchen. "I'll see you soon, okay?"

"Kay." Her tired little body disappearing, I rest back on the couch and try to process what has just happened. I mean, I know Arizona has a kid but I never for one moment thought that I would be so blessed to be included in her life. Sure, I've only just met her, but she has been so welcoming and I should've known that would happen. She is Arizona's daughter so she was always going to be amazing. Awesome. Sweet and adorable.

It feels so good seeing Arizona in this setting. Mom mode. I always hoped Sofia would join her in Seattle when I was there with her but it wasn't my place to discuss any of that with her. It was between her and Callie and I was just there to offer whatever support Arizona may have needed. The more I think about it, the more I wish I hadn't suddenly left. The more I think about the way I feel for her, the more I wish I'd stuck around and allowed her to be there for me. I know she would've been, but I was so mad and pissed off by the way I was treated that I didn't see what I should've always seen. Her support. Her love. Her kind nature. I just saw red and I left. One of the biggest mistakes of my life, yes…but this? How we are right now? It's nice. It feels new again. New and exciting.

"That was a long day." Startled when Arizona rounds the back of the couch and drops down beside me, her hand instantly finds my thigh. Lifting my arm and placing it on the back of the couch, she leans her body into the side of me and rests her head on my shoulder. "How was dinner?"

"Honestly?" I raise an eyebrow as she tilts her head up and looks at me. "Amazing. Perfect."

"Yeah?" Her dimples pop. _God, I've missed that smile._ "I mean, it wasn't too much?"

"What? No." I laugh, my arm dropping from behind Arizona and now wrapping around her shoulders. "I had an awesome evening."

"Thank you for agreeing to come over." She squeezes my thigh and my hand settles over her own. "I didn't want to put you on the spot but Sofia insisted she be the one to introduce herself…and she demanded to do it there and then."

"She's a great kid, Arizona." My voice soft, my fingertip trails up the back of her arm and her eyes shine brighter than they have since she moved to New York. At least, when I've had the pleasure of being around her. "It's so good seeing you guys together…"

"She just makes everything else seem better than it is." She sighs. "Her smile…her joy."

"I know she caught you off guard earlier." I give her a sad smile. "The whole 'Penny' thing. Just…I know you didn't mean it but it's okay. I know I have to make this work and show you that I'm here."

"Didn't mean what?" Arizona gives me a look of confusion.

"When you said I was your girlfriend." I'm honestly not offended or hurt by what she said. I know she couldn't have possibly meant it. I've done nothing to earn that title.

"I mean, yeah…she caught me off guard." Arizona agrees. "That doesn't mean I didn't mean what I said, though. Unless that isn't what you want."

"Y-You meant it?" I furrow my brow. "But…why?"

"Because I'm tired of spending my evenings wondering what we are." She sits forward in her seat, my arm falling from her shoulder. "I'm tired of losing sleep over it and I don't want to continue that way. I know we still have the whole dating thing to get through, but I'm hopeful of the outcome so I'm not worried." She shrugs, confidence oozing from her. "I want to move forward…with you, Eliza."

"Yeah?" My smile widens. "You know I'm here, right? For the both of you…"

"That's sweet." She takes my hand in her own. "Will you stay a little longer? I know you have a long day tomorrow but just a couple of hours?"

"If you want me to hang out here, yes." I give her a nod as I lean in a little closer and my lips ghost over her own. "I need more of that kiss from this morning, though…"

"Really?" She smiles against my mouth. "It's been on your mind too, huh?"

"You thought about it?" I pull back a little and find her eyes. "I wasn't sure how you felt about it."

"Maybe you could kiss me again and you will find out how I felt about it?" Narrowing her eyes, she has that sexy squint going on that drives me insane and my lips instantly find hers. My hand running up her denim-clad thigh, I want nothing more than to take this further but it's not the right time. So long as I have her lips on me, I don't care. I can manage with this forever if I have to. I mean, I'm in her home and we are spending _another_ evening together. How could I possibly expect any more than she is giving me right now? "Mm…" A low moan rumbling in her throat as I tug on her bottom lip, my heart pounds in my ears and that sound alone is enough to end my life right here and now. "So good." She pulls back, her fingertips toying with the skin beneath my shirt. "I've missed that like you couldn't even imagine…" The palm of her hand settles on the skin of my stomach.

"Oh, I know exactly how that feels." My eyes close as I lick my lips. "Mm, I know how that feels." Arizona's hand suddenly wrapping around the back of my neck, she pulls me back in and crushes her lips into my own. Her tongue slipping into my mouth, the sensations she is creating right now are leaving me breathless. _Jesus Christ, I'm barely hanging on to my life right now._

Her hot breath all over me, her forehead comes to rest against my own and Arizona's own breathing is erratic.

"I'm sorry. I just…I needed that." My hand fisted in her blouse, I loosen my grip and give myself a moment to come back to my senses. If I'm not careful, I'm going to rip it from her body…dating or not.

"Don't apologize." I breathe out as I run my fingers through my hair. "Don't _ever_ apologize for that." I swallow hard when I recognize that look in her eyes. That look that tells me she isn't quite finished just yet.

"No?" She smirks. "Well, in that case…" Suddenly finding _my_ gorgeous blonde straddling my legs, my body connects with the back of the couch and my hands find her thighs. "Maybe I need a little more…" Her arms wrapping around my neck, she wastes no time in diving back in. This is going to take some getting used to, but something tells me I won't struggle with this change. Something tells me that it's going to be better than the first time and yeah…her lips are the only thing keeping me grounded right now. "If that would be okay with you?" She mumbles against my lips.

"More than okay." One hand finds her hair while the other caresses her thigh, her body pressed against my own. "So _very_ okay."

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.**


	7. Chapter 7

**I Can't Make You Love Me**

* * *

Chapter Seven

* * *

ARIZONA'S POV

* * *

I've been walking around in a daze all week. Yeah, I got a taste of Eliza and now I want more. I don't care for anyone's opinion on the matter and I don't care if people think I'm stupid for taking her back. I want her and that is that. There really is no more to say on the subject. Sure, I could draw this out and make her wait for a response from me but I'm not about to do that. I've wasted too much time over the last few years wondering if I was good enough to put my all into another relationship and I have that chance right now. I have the chance to finally be happy since my marriage ended. Yes, I was happy with Eliza the first time around, but this time feels different. It's a fresh start. A completely fresh start. We may hit a wall at some point down the line but don't all relationships experience that? Don't we all have a dip at some point? Yeah, we do. We do, but Eliza is here and telling me all the things I want to hear and I love it. I'm loving every moment of it. How she took to Sofia so well. How my daughter has talked about her all freaking week. Yeah, this is perfect right now and I desperately want to see her.

I don't regret calling her my girlfriend again so soon after we reunited, and I'm almost certain that I'll never regret it. How can you regret something when the woman in question made you feel better than anyone else has in a long time? How can I possibly turn and walk away from her when I know without a shadow of a doubt that she is who I want? I can't and that is why I haven't. I could've easily told her no. That I didn't want to be with her. I could've been a total bitch and refused to even hold a conversation with her ever again, but I didn't. It's just not who I am. Yes, I may fall hard and quick, but she is who I see my future with. Honestly, I imagined a future with her the last time we were together. Then everything happened but we cannot change that. We cannot fix the past but we can certainly live for the future. So, that's what I'm doing. I'm putting my all into this relationship and I know I will reap the rewards before too long. _I already am reaping the rewards._

I haven't seen Eliza for two days and now I'm growing impatient. I know she has been working and our night last night never happened because she was called to the hospital, but I really need five with her. Just to snuggle. Just so I can kiss those full gorgeous lips. Those lips that I couldn't get enough of a few days ago. Yeah, it was hard to stop that evening when we had all shared dinner together. It was the right thing to do, though. I don't want our first time _again_ to be while my daughter is sleeping down the hall. I want to be able to scream her name over and over again. I want her to take me wherever the hell she wants without fear of things being cut short. I want it all to happen exactly how its supposed to. Perfectly.

Settling down with my crossword and my coffee, Sofia is at school and I dropped her there around forty minutes ago. Eliza is likely to be sleeping since she worked the night shift and that is the only thing stopping me from going to her place. I want to, but she needs to sleep. She needs to sleep so I can spend the evening with her completely refreshed. We have dinner reservations for tomorrow night so I figured we could just relax tonight since Sofia is at Callie's place this weekend. Yeah, we've spent time together earlier this week, but I'm feeling deprived. Pathetic, I know…but it is what it is. I knew once I had her back in my life I would need her around and yeah, that time has come.

 ** _Any plans with Sofia for the weekend? Arizona x_**

Sending off a message to my ex-wife, I'm trying to keep myself and my mind busy. If I knock on my girlfriend's door and find that sleepy rasp in her voice, I'm probably going to just drag her off to bed and no, it won't be to sleep. It will be to do anything but sleep.

 ** _Just meeting Penny for lunch. Sofia has been asking about her. C x_**

 ** _Awesome. It's good that she still wants to be a part of that aspect of your life. Arizona x_**

 ** _Yeah, I guess so. C x_**

 ** _Okay, that doesn't sound overly convincing. Everything okay? Arizona x_**

 ** _Yeah, just having a bad day. C x_**

 ** _You know where I am if you need to talk, okay? Arizona x_**

 ** _I'm okay. Enjoy your weekend and I'll see you Sunday evening. C x_**

Sighing, I set my cell down on the counter beside me and rest my head in my hand. _Okay, I'm super bored now._ Maybe I could take a walk around the city. Maybe I should head out and grab myself some coffee and just watch the people of New York go about their day. Anything would work right now providing I don't leave my apartment and take a left towards Eliza's door. _Come on, Robbins. Stop being so fucking needy._ Pulling myself from my stool, I straighten myself out and take my cell from the counter. I'll keep it close by in case I hear from my girlfriend, but I'm not hopeful. She loves her sleep and I'm fully expecting her to knock on my door at the latest time possible. _I get it and I don't miss it._ I don't miss that feeling of not knowing when you will next get a good sleep. Always waiting for your pager to sound. Never truly falling into that deep sleep our bodies crave. Yeah, I totally get it.

Slipping my jacket over my shoulders, I grab my keys from the kitchen counter and take my purse from the couch. I've only been home for half an hour or so but sitting in my apartment is driving me crazy so I'm outta here. Pulling the door open, I'm startled when I find Eliza standing outside, her hand curled into a fist and about to knock. "Jesus Christ." Placing my hand on my chest, my heart pounds and Eliza looks at me in horror, breakfast in her hands.

"Sorry, I can leave?" She suggests.

"N-No." I drag her inside. "No way are you leaving."

"Uh, okay." She furrows her brow. "I mean, you don't exactly look happy to see me…"

"You scared me half to death." I laugh. "I want to see you. Hell, I've wanted to see you since I opened my eyes at six this morning."

"Aw, you did?" She kicks the door shut and sets the bag housing our breakfast down on the nearest table. "That's sweet."

"Mm, you're addictive, Eliza." Her arms wrapping around my waist, she pulls me into her body and moans into a kiss.

"I missed you…" Her breath washing over my lips, my eyes close and a smile curls on my mouth. "And I can't stop thinking about you."

"Join the club." I pull back and study those beautiful eyes. "You look tired."

"I am." She nods. "But I needed to see you before I slept for a few hours."

"Now who's the sweet one?" I raise an eyebrow. "Sweet but very tired."

"I can rally." She yawns. "I can _always_ rally for you…"

"As much as I love that idea, I want you to sleep so tonight doesn't end up an epic failure."

"Why would it be a failure?" She asks.

"Because I want to just relax with you tonight." I shrug. "I don't want our night cut short for any reason."

"You don't have to worry about that." Her lips press against my own again. "I'm totally going to be here tonight with you. Fully. Just…I promise."

"Okay, so…breakfast?" I raise an eyebrow. "And then you leave and sleep. Or you can hang out here and sleep, whatever." I shrug.

"Breakfast sounds so good right now." She agrees. "Now, sit your gorgeous ass down so we can eat."

"Flattery will get you everywhere, Eliza." My hand slips up her back. " _Everywhere._ "

* * *

 ** _Can I come by now? E x_**

 ** _Damn right you can. A x_**

Smiling as I silence my cell and lock it, I leave it on the kitchen counter and move towards my apartment door. I won't need it tonight and the less interruption, the better. Opening my door, I head back to my kitchen and pull out two bottles of wine. There is plenty more where this came from, and I don't plan on allowing Eliza to leave tonight. No, nothing will happen, but that doesn't mean she can't sleep beside me. Whilst I'm alone and I have the weekend to myself, I want nothing more. I don't believe it's time to have her staying over whilst Sofia is here, so this weekend is going to be perfect for us. There is nothing wrong with a little making out and that is how I plan on our night ending.

"Arizona?" The door opening a little, I turn and smile as I find Eliza heading inside. "Was I supposed to bring stuff, or?"

"What kind of stuff?"

"I don't know. Like, popcorn or something?" She shrugs. "Wine?"

"I have plenty of wine…" I motion for her to join me in the kitchen. "And so long as you brought yourself, I don't care about the rest."

"You're just one big ball of fluff today, aren't you?" Eliza traps my body between her own and the counter. "And I already know I'm going to struggle to leave you tonight."

"You have the weekend off, right?" I narrow my eyes.

"I do." Her lips press against my own.

"So, don't leave." I try to gauge her reaction. "Stay the night…"

"I, uh…" She clears her throat. "I don-"

"Unless you don't want to." I pull back, a little sadness settling within me. "You don't want to, do you?"

"N-No, I do." She rushes out. "I just didn't expect you to offer, is all."

"So, accept my offer and stay the night…"

"Well, okay then." She pulls me in by the back of the neck and kisses me hard. Harder than she ever has. _Fuck!_ "I'll stay the night…"

"Yeah?" I smile against her mouth. "You aren't going to run out on me?"

"Uh, what's that supposed to mean?" She asks, incredulously.

"Oh, shit." I try to backtrack. "That's not what I meant. Fuck!"

"What did you mean?" She furrows her brow.

"Just that I don't want you to leave." I give her a sad smile. "I really wasn't having a dig at you for the past."

"Are you sure?" She asks, disappointment settling in her eyes. "Because I really need you to trust and believe me, Arizona."

"I do." I nod. "I swear I do."

"Come on then." She pulls away from me and takes both bottles of wine while I grab the glasses. "Don't want to get into a discussion about it if it meant nothing."

"It didn't." I drop down on the couch, setting the glasses down on the coffee table. "I would like to hear about what you've been doing since you left, though?"

"Okay." She smiles as the couch dips beside me, her hand falling to my thigh and giving it a squeeze. "What did you want to know?"

"Where did you go when you left?" I ask. "Did you come straight here, or?"

"No, I went home for a while. Visited mom. Took some time out."

"Did you date?" I'd like to believe that she kept herself happy, but Eliza doesn't really strike me as the kind to sleep around or date for the sake of it.

"No, only when I arrived here and met Ash."

"What is she actually about?"

"Honestly, I don't know." Eliza laughs. "She seemed really nice at first. Then she got too full on and I couldn't handle it."

"Mm, she's kinda full on…I agree."

"We dated for like a month and then she wanted me to meet her parents." She rolls her eyes. "When I say a month, I mean like a few meals out and one night we spent together."

"Okay, that is a little too much." I wrinkle my nose. "So, it wasn't going anywhere?"

"No." She gives me a sad smile. "I'm not sure anything would've gone anywhere with anyone but you."

"I can't believe you live two doors from me."

"My heart was in my mouth when I saw you moving in." She hands me a glass of wine and pulls her feet up onto the coffee table. "I mean, don't you think that's fate?"

"I do." I smile. "It's why we are sat here together right now."

"Look, I know this is new and fresh, but can I ask you something?" She drops her gaze. "I know this isn't appropriate to ask when we're barely even dating, but we're hardly only just meeting each other for the first time."

"What's on your mind?" I stop her rambling. "Just…talk to me. That's what tonight is about."

"What do you see for us?" She asks. "Do you really believe we have a future together?"

"Do you?" I counter.

"Yes, I do." She says with certainty. "But this isn't about me. I'm the one who walked away, remember."

"No more." She holds up her hand. "This is new, so no…you didn't walk away."

"What do you mean, I didn't walk away?" She laughs.

"I mean, it never happened. Obviously, it did…but as of right now, it never happened and this is the beginning of us."

"Wow…" She runs her fingers through her hair. "How do you do that? How do you just forgive me?"

"Because I have a feeling the good is totally going to outweigh the bad." I lean in and press a kiss below her ear. Her eyes closing, a smile settles on my mouth when I see the reaction my touch causes. "Open your eyes…"

Watching as they flutter open, a tear slips down her face and I brush it away. "Sorry, I just can't believe you have taken me back."

"Taken you back?" I ask, feigning confusion. "I don't even know you…"

"Right, yeah." She laughs. "I guess I should date you and woo you before I even think about spending the night then…"

"Oh. I didn't think of it like that." I sigh. "Kinda messed that up for myself, didn't I?"

"I'm joking." She deadpans. "There is no way I'm leaving here tonight. Not unless you want me to."

"I would really like to you to stay…" I lace our fingers together and smile. _God, her hand feels so good in my own._ "Look, we can keep going over this if you want to but I'd much rather forget about it and just go from here."

"I'd like that." Her grip on my hand tightening, she presses a kiss to my knuckles and smiles against my skin.

"I can understand why you left, and that is all you need to know. Everything else…we just forget about it."

"If you're sure." She gives me a knowing look. "This is all totally up to you, Arizona. I just want you to be happy and if that is with me, I promise I'll never hurt you again."

"I'm more than sure." I set my wine glass down and shift a little closer. "How about we kiss and makeup?" I smirk against her mouth. "Isn't that what we're supposed to do."

"Oh god…" Her breathing ragged, Eliza sets her own wine glass down and climbs into my lap. "It's exactly what we're supposed to do." Her hands settling either side of my head against the couch, my fingers curl beneath the waistband of her jeans and I pull her in flush against my body. "You make me feel so good." Her words causing my heart to pound that little bit harder, her tongue slips between my lips and a low moan rumbles in my throat. I don't know where we go from here but I know that it's going to be amazing. I know it's going to be everything I could ever want. New York is the fresh start I was hoping for and so far…it isn't disappointing.

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.**


	8. Chapter 8

**I Can't Make You Love Me**

* * *

Chapter Eight

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ELIZA'S POV

* * *

Perfect. Our evening last night together was perfect and now I've woken beside Arizona. That same scent I used to wake beside in Seattle only this time it feels different. It feels more real. I don't have anyone on my back about my job or what I'm doing. I don't have anyone interfering or the potential of that happening. Just…things feel good. Things feel like they're going to be so much better and I feel like I can breathe. Arizona has been nothing short of incredible, but that's just who she is. How she forgives. How she always has that beautiful smile on her face. Yeah, she's amazing but I already knew that. I already knew that she was someone special. I saw that the first time I met her at Grey Sloan. I saw it and I wanted more of it. I wanted in on her sweet personality and her loving eyes. Those eyes that literally tore my heart from my chest. She knows I love that about her but it's so much more, too. It's so much more than simply how she looks. Yes, she is one of the most gorgeous women I've ever been lucky enough to call mine, but she is such a remarkable woman, too. Everything about her is inviting and yeah, I totally took that invitation. I took it and I'm never giving it up. I'm never letting her go.

My body clothed by a tee that belongs to Arizona, I turn on my side and her gorgeous blonde hair is splayed across her pillow. That slight smile she wears is as present as ever on her mouth and I can't help but watch her. Everything about her is goddess-like and I can't quite believe I'm here right now. I can't believe I'm lying beside her while she sleeps so peacefully. _She makes my heart pound like nobody else ever has._ Her smile curling a little more on her lips, I prop myself up on my elbow and smile as her eyes open slowly. "Hey, good morning." I stare down at my girlfriend.

"Hi." Her smile widens and her eyes close again momentarily. "I forgot how gorgeous you look first thing in the morning…"

"Weird, I was just thinking the same thing," I smirk as Arizona blushes a little. "Can I get you some coffee?"

"Mm, soon." Her hand settles on my naked thigh beneath the covers. "Stay a little longer."

"You know, I'm kinda nervous about dinner tonight."

"Why?" She furrows her brow. "We can reschedule if you don't want to go to dinner with me…"

"Oh, I want to go," I say with certainty. "Just...having you on my arm in New York? Yeah, I'm nervous."

"Okay, you've lost me…" She shifts a little and I'm close to being on top of her.

"Just…you look good." I lean down and press a kiss to her lips. "So good, actually."

"I'm just me, Eliza." She gives me a small smile. "You have no reason to be nervous."

"Hard not to be when I'm trying to woo you."

"I just want you to be yourself." The palm of her hand ghosts up and down my thigh. "That's what I'm attracted to…"

"Yeah, I still don't even know how that happened." I laugh.

"Good thing I do, huh?" Sitting up on her elbows, the cover falls from her upper body and her nipples are more than evident through her tight tank top.

"Mm, it is." My eyes focusing back on her own, I clear my throat and give her a genuine smile. "S-So that coffee?" I stutter. "I mean, did you want some. I can get it."

"Dr. Minnick, do I make you nervous?" A smirk settling on her mouth, I can feel a blush creeping up my neck more intense than before. "Well?"

"N-No, I mean…yeah. No." Sighing, I close my eyes. "Just…can you cover yourself up?" My heart rate increasing by the second, her hand grips my thigh that little bit tighter and her breath washes over my face. "Arizona…"

"Last night got a little hot…"

"I know." I groan. "I'm well aware of exactly how hot last night got."

"You don't want round two this morning?" She sits upright and studies my face. "You know, to get our day going?"

"If I want to be able to function today, no." I have to be honest with her. She makes me fucking crazy every time she kisses me and I'm already a nervous wreck for tonight. I need nothing to go wrong and I'm worried that taking things further right now could jeopardize that. I'd hope it wouldn't but I'm not sure I'm willing to risk it.

"Wow, blown off." She wrinkles her nose and turns her body in the bed. "Let me get the coffee. You relax…you sure as hell need to."

Dropping back on her bed, I watch her gorgeous body as she takes a seat on the edge of the bed and fixes her prosthetic in place. "I wasn't blowing you off." Shifting, I rest up on my knees behind her and press a kiss to her shoulder. "But I cannot take another moment of kissing you for it to end minutes later…"

"That feels good." Her head falls back on her shoulders and my lips work the skin of her neck. I can feel her shuddering, but it's exactly the reaction I expected. "But we should really stop."

"I know," I whisper in her ear. "I really don't want to, though…" My tongue trails the shell of her ear. "You smell so good."

"Tonight…" She turns her head and finds my eyes. "Tonight, I'm all yours."

"Don't say things you don't mean, Arizona." I take her bottom lip between my teeth. "You have to mean it."

"I do." Her chest heaving as my lips work her skin, something tells me that I know exactly what is coming tonight. _Or rather, who is coming._ "I want some gorgeous food with you and then I want your gorgeous body against my own." Dropping my head to her shoulder, my eyes close and my arms wrap around her waist from behind.

"You've no idea what you do to me…" I nuzzle my face into the crook of her neck. "But I'll wait forever if I have to…"

Standing, she turns to face me and her hands rest either side of my face. "Forever isn't necessary." She leans in and presses her lips to my own. "But tonight…it's all about us."

* * *

Sat across the table from Arizona, I've struggled to keep my eyes off of her all night. She looks incredible. Incredible and so very very hot. Her dark eye makeup is making me want to take her against this very table but I've somehow managed to keep my hands to myself. Honestly, I thought I would have to leave her apartment earlier in the day for fear of ripping her clothes off. She recognised that though, and the teasing lessened. I don't want that to ever happen again. Once I've had her in my arms tonight, that is the last time I hold back. Once that familiar moan has fallen from her lips, she's mine again. This time, I'll never let her go. This time, I'll never walk out of her life. This time…is the last time.

"Sorry, one minute." Arizona's cell buzzing in her purse, she slips it out and glances at the screen. "It's Callie."

"So, take the call?" I suggest. "It's no problem."

"No, this is our evening." She ignores the call and her attention is back to me within a second. "So, how was dinner?"

"Dinner was incredible." I sip my red wine and glance her way over the rim of the glass. "Perfect."

"I'm glad you enjoyed it." She smiles. "Good choice, by the way." Her eyes trailing the decor of the Italian restaurant I chose, she looks completely at home here. She looks like she's always been here, in New York.

"Speaking of Italian." I clear my throat. "What happened?"

"What happened when?" She asks, her brow furrowed.

"Seattle. The Italian. Your ex?"

"Oh, Carina?" She asks. "Just…wanted different things, I guess."

"Well, clearly." I scoff. "She really didn't want Sofia around?"

"That's how it felt." She gives me a sad smile. "She wasn't very…enthusiastic, shall we say."

"That wasn't ever going to work then, huh?"

"No, it wasn't." She shrugs. "She was great…fun, but Sofia came home and it kinda changed. _She_ kinda changed."

"She didn't expect Sofia to come home…"

"No, I don't think she did." Arizona breathes out. "But I don't have to worry about that anymore. I mean, I'm here. She's not. You are and I couldn't be happier about that." Leaning across the table, she takes my hand in her own and flashes her dimples. "I didn't love her, Eliza. It was fun, but that was all."

"God, I wish I'd seen you at home with Sofia."

"You do." She gives me a look of confusion.

"No, I mean when she first came home." I give her a sad smile. "I know how much you desperately wanted her with you. I knew how much you craved your daughter…"

"You do." She squeezes my hand. "You held me on more than one occasion when things became too much." _She remembers our past times._ I'd hold her time and time again if that was what she needed and I hope she knows that. I hope she knows I have her back no matter what. I know I haven't shown that, but I do. I've got her.

"It feels so good to have you back in my life, Arizona."

"I agree." She relaxes back in her seat and refills her glass. "Another?"

"Sure." I slide my glass her way. "So, am I staying over again tonight?"

"What do you think?" She glances up at me, her eyes dark and telling me everything I need to know. "You really think I'm letting you leave my place?"

"Well, I don't like to assume." I narrow my eyes. "Wouldn't want to seem too much…"

"You'll never be too much." Calling for the waiter and motioning for the bill, Arizona sets her glass down and eyes me like nobody has ever eyed me before.

"What?" I blush.

"Nothing." She perks up. "Just undressing you with my eyes…"

"Okay, stop." I hold up my hand. "You're killing me."

"Mm, I know." She throws me a wink and the waiter disrupts our conversation. "Thank you." Giving him her best smile, I can't take my eyes off of my girlfriend. Still sounds crazy in my head when I call her that, but she is. She is my girlfriend. My Arizona. "We'll finish this bottle and then head out, yeah?"

"Sounds perfect to me." I sit forward in my seat and feeling just that little bit closer settles me. "Your cell is buzzing again." I motion towards her open purse.

"Oh, don't worry." She waves it off. "I'll call Callie tomorrow."

"You should take it." I give her a knowing look. "I'm not going anywhere and she may need you…"

"Why would she need me?"

"I don't know." I shrug. "Sofia, maybe?" I don't want to worry her but it's perfectly possible that her ex-wife needs her or her daughter.

"Right, yeah." Clearing her throat, she takes her cell from her purse and accepts the call. "Callie?" I watch her interaction with her ex-wife. "I'm not really available right now, I'm sorry." She chews on her bottom lip. "No, I know…but can we talk tomorrow? Okay, I'm sorry. Bye."

"Everything okay?"

"Yeah, my own fault." She sighs. "She's having a bad time and I told her if she needed me she could call me."

"So, you need to go over there?" I'm trying not to sound disappointed but that feeling is there inside of me. I've been so looking forward to this evening and I really don't want to have to leave this restaurant alone. "Arizona?"

"No, everything can wait until tomorrow." I settle the bill as the waiter approaches and my girlfriend gives me a thankful smile. "Thank you for dinner." Standing, she closes the distance between us and presses her lips to my own. "Now, it's time to leave."

"Yeah." I give her a half smile. Grabbing my purse, her hand slips to my own and we make out way out onto the street. "I really don't mind if you need to go and see her…"

"I don't need to go and see her." She says with certainty. "I've spent long enough dropping everything for her and I'm not about to drop _you_ for her."

"Okay, if you're sure?" Stopping me on the street, she turns me in her arms and presses her lips to my own. "Arizona," I whisper against her mouth. "If you kiss me again, I'm going to take you right here, right now."

"Mm, tempting." She smirks against my mouth. "But I need a hard surface…"

"Oh." I feign shock. "Sounds interesting…"

"Mm, it should be." She pulls back and licks her lips. "It's all I can think about."

"Then we should probably get you back to your place then, huh?"

"I thought it would never happen." Rolling her eyes playfully, I could spend my life in this phase with her. I know it won't always be rainbows and unicorns, but right now…it's more than I could ever ask for. It's more than I ever expected. Just a few weeks ago, she wouldn't even look at me but here we are, in each other's arms and falling back into that playful nature I came to know and love back in Seattle. "Come on…" Falling into step with her, Arizona's hand once again finds mine and she holds it like I'm about to run the opposite way. _Yeah, that's never happening._

"In case I didn't tell you already…" I lean into the side of her body, her shampoo sending me wild with want. "You look beautiful tonight…"

"Thank you." She blushes. "I'm so happy we did this tonight." Her eyes shine brightly against the New York lights. "I have missed you…"

"I've missed you, too." I give her a sad smile, my arm wrapping around her waist as we head to her place.

"Who were you in contact with at the hospital?" She gives me a side glance.

"Oh, uh…it doesn't matter." I shake my head. "I just wanted to know how you were."

"Please tell me who?" Her eyes are pleading with me.

"Alex." I sigh. "He was the only one I felt like I could trust."

"Alex Karev?" Her smile widens and I nod. "I knew I'd kept him around for a reason." Her smile settling, she releases a slight sigh and leans into my body, our pace slowing a little. "You know, I could spend forever walking the streets of New York with you…"

"Maybe we should make that a plan," I suggest. "The people of New York _should_ know what an amazing girlfriend I have."

"Smooth." She smirks. "The people of New York should know that you're just trying to get into my pants."

"Hardly have to _try_ but whatever." My hand slips to Arizona's ass and a low moan rumbles in her throat. "See?"

"See what?" She plays stupid.

"The reaction your body has to my touch." My tone low as I whisper in her ear, she clears her throat and remains silent. "Your lack of words tells me all I need to know…"

"And what do you know?"

"That I'm about to rock your freaking world."

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.**


	9. Chapter 9

**I Can't Make You Love Me**

* * *

Chapter Nine

* * *

ARIZONA'S POV

* * *

 _Okay, I need her now._ Eliza has been on edge all evening and yeah, it's totally making me desperate to touch her. Maybe some would consider it too soon, but other people aren't my concern. My concern is Eliza and making her feel good. My concern is having her scream my name all night long and I know that is exactly what she's waiting for. I know, because I can feel her body tensing every time I touch her. I can hear her thoughts and I can definitely say for sure that I'm feeling and thinking the exact same as her. Tonight is our night and that is really all there is to it. Nothing and nobody is going to change that and the second I get her inside my place, that gorgeous dress covering her incredible body is gone. It's gone and I'm going to worship her all night.

Stepping off the elevator, we round the corner and head for my apartment. I can feel her body pressing against my own and as I fumble in my purse for my keys, I'm suddenly forced against the door. "Arizona…" Smiling against my neck, her arm wraps around my waist and traps me in place. Cupping my sex through my jeans, my mouth falls open and my head falls back against her shoulder. "I cannot wait to touch you…"

"Oh god." My eyes closing, her hand suddenly slips past the waistband of my jeans, my panties too. "Eliza…"

"Yeah?" Her breath washes over the side of my face. The faintest hint of red wine still present.

"I-Inside." I moan as her fingertips press against my clit.

"Already?" She smirks. "Figured you needed a little more first."

"Inside the fucking apartment." I gasp as she applies a little more pressure. "N-Now." Somehow managing to slip the key in the lock, I force the door open and pull her inside, the door slamming shut behind us. Guiding her further inside, my lips never leaving her own, she moans into my mouth and my arousal pools between my legs faster than it ever has. "Fuck, you taste so good."

"I need you." She whispers, her forehead pressing against my own. "I need you like I've never needed anyone before."

"You got me." I smile into another kiss. Pushing her against the nearest wall, her fingers tangle in my hair and my own lower the little black dress hugging her body. Finding her totally naked chest before me, my mouth salivates at the thought of my tongue trailing her skin. "Oh god." My own chest beginning to heave, her dress gathers around her waist and I waste no time in dipping my head and taking one of her perfect nipples between my teeth.

"Mm, yes." Her head resting back against the wall, she forces my mouth against her and I suck a little harder. "Shit…" Moaning and writhing as I give her gorgeous breasts the attention they deserve, my free hand tugs her dress lower until it falls to the floor and she kicks it away. Now standing in nothing but her heels and black lace panties, I'm finding it hard to concentrate on one thing alone. I want her like never before, but fuck me…she's a masterpiece. A masterpiece I've missed having against me.

"Wow…" I breathe out as I take a step back and admire her incredible beauty. _She's mine._ "Y-You…"

"Kiss me, Arizona." Pulling me back in by the back of the neck, her lips crush into my own and her tongue slips into my mouth. Toying with the tip of my own, fresh arousal floods from my center and I know that tonight isn't going to end anytime soon. How can it when we have so much making up to do? Dropping my hand between us, I drag my nails up her inner thigh and she almost loses her balance. "Fuck." Tugging on my bottom lip, she pushes off of the wall and guides me through my apartment and towards the bedroom.

Turning her in my arms as we reach the bedroom door, her palms press against the hardwood and my sex grinds against her ass. "You're making me so wet, Eliza…"

"Mm, I know." She smirks as she glances over her shoulder. "Wouldn't expect anything less."

"Confident, huh?" My hand slips beneath the waistband of her panties and her own arousal coats my fingers. "Mm, just what I wanted." My lips press against the back of her neck as I roll my fingertips over her aching clit.

"F-Fuck." Her knees weaken. "Oh god, that feels amazing."

"You need to come for me?" I whisper.

"S-So much." She groans as her back arches against me. "And if you keep doing that, its gonna happen." Picking my pace up a little, my hand is soaked and it feels so good. Eliza always did give me exactly what I wanted and it's amazing to know that some things never change. That I make her feel this way. I spent so long after the crash not feeling good enough, but she has never made me question that. She has never given me any reason to suspect that she doesn't find me attractive. "Y-Yes, oh fuck." Squeezing her thighs closed as her orgasm courses through her being, I hold her securely against me and watch on in delight as she moans and writhes for me. "Fuck, Arizona…"

"I like to give you what you need…and you definitely needed that."

"I did." She answers, breathlessly. "But I need you naked beneath me." Turning in my arms, she backs up to the door and nudges it open. Her heels hitting the hardwood, I'm reminded of just how hot my girlfriend is. I mean, she's always hot, but tonight she is looking something special and I know it's all for me. "I need you on the bed, Arizona."

"My pleasure." Pushed down, a yelp leaves my mouth when my back connects with the soft mattress we shared last night. Her fingers toying with the button on my jeans, she pops it and slowly slips them from my legs. Throwing them to the floor, she climbs up my body and slips my blouse from my shoulders. Her hands as soft as ever, I find myself in nothing but my underwear beneath her and yeah, I'm not sure how much longer I can wait. The anticipation is actually killing me right now but I suspect she knows that. Eliza knows exactly what she's doing and that has never been a secret.

"So fucking beautiful…" Her tongue trailing my stomach, it tightens and I shudder beneath her. "I've been so stupid, Arizona." Her voice breaking, my bra suddenly falls open and her mouth trails further up. "But I'm here…I'm so here and I'm never leaving again."

"Hey…" I cup her face and her eyes find mine. "I know you're here." I smile. "I can feel it."

"Yeah?" Her eyes glisten against the moonlight shining through. "You do?"

"So much." Pulling her up my body, her lips crush into my own and I know exactly how she's feeling. I'm feeling it too. _In love._ I'd tell her, but I can't right now. I need to reconnect with her. I need her to know that I trust her. The 'I love you's' can come later. Her hand dropping between our bodies, she cups my sex and the moan that falls from my mouth even surprises me. "Ugh, fuck." Gripping the sheet to the side of me, Eliza suddenly sits back on her knees and glances down my body.

"You look so fucking good, Arizona." Her hands trailing my thighs, she grips the waistband of my panties and tugs on her bottom lip. "And I'm sorry, but these have to go." Suddenly ripping them from my body, I'm overcome with arousal and I don't even know how we got to this point. I never thought I'd see her again yet here she is, literally ripping the lace from my body.

"Jesus Christ." Muttering under my breath, my eyes close and a smile settles on my mouth. "You are so good for me." I breathe out. "So good."

"We're good for each other." Her eyes focused on my soaked sex, they're dark and filled with complete want. Just how I want her to feel. I need her to feel like I'm all she will ever need. I need her to take us back and erase past mistakes. A single finger gathering my arousal, I watch on in delight as she slips it past her lips and moans. "Perfect." Shifting and straddling my right thigh, her naked body presses against my own and her tongue trails my bottom lip. "You're mine, okay?"

"I'm yours," I repeat her words, barely above a whisper. "Make me yours, Eliza." Her own soaked center grinding against my thigh, her hand ghosts down my stomach and her fingers work me like they always did. "Please…"

Slipping two fingers inside of me with ease, my back arches from the bed and my mouth falls open. "Fuck…" Her own moan falling from her lips, my stomach tightens and she pushes in and out of me so perfectly. "God, I've missed you…" Her lips crushing into my own again, my entire body is on fire. Every nerve ending. Every muscle. Yeah, Eliza makes me feel like nobody else ever has. _Nobody._

"Oh god." Her free hand gripping my own that is fisted in the covers, Eliza's arousal coats the skin of my thigh and I know that she needs me. I know that she needs more. Working my hand up her thigh, I slip two fingers inside of her and a gasp falls from her perfect lips. "I'm so close…"

"Y-Yeah?" She breathes hard against my ear. "You're so fucking tight for me."

"Shit." Her words pushing me closer to the edge, her own walls tighten around my fingers and my thumb rolls over her clit. "I need you with me."

"A-Always." She whimpers, her sex throbbing. "I-I, oh god…" Rocking above me, her eyes find mine and her body shudders. "I-I…" Cut off when her orgasm crashes through her, my own sends a wave of electricity through my body.

"Y-Yes, fuck…yes." Shaking beneath my girlfriend, neither of us let up and shockwaves course through me. Whimpering and trying to breathe through this intense emotion I'm feeling, Eliza's forehead comes to rest against my own, her eyes never leaving mine.

"Arizona…" Her voice soft and low, she studies my face and I furrow my brow. "I just…"

"What is it?" I ask as my hand trails her naked back. "Eliza?"

"I love you." Her words catching me off guard, I still my hand and try to hold back the smile curling on my mouth. "I don't expect you to say it back and I don't expect you to even feel the same way, but I do." She says with complete certainty. "I love you and I'm here. I'll always be here. Wherever you are, I will be."

"I wasn't sure I was making the right decision in moving to New York." My thumb grazes her bottom lip. "You know, the uncertainty and not knowing if I could thrive here…"

"You can thrive anywhere, Arizona." She gives me one of her adorable smiles. "Its who you are…"

"Then I realized …when I came here and I saw you, I knew I could do anything. I knew that having you in my life would truly complete me…"

"Yeah?"

"I love you too, Eliza." I press my lips softly against her own. "All I wanted back in Seattle was to love you…"

"I messed that up." She sighs.

"Maybe…" I shrug. "But this time? This time is the right time. I know it. I can feel it. We can be so good together here."

"We can." She smiles into another kiss. "Thank you for letting me back in."

"I had to," I admit. "I knew we weren't done." I smile, my fingertips ghosting up and down her back. "When we have a connection like this…it's hard to _ever_ be done."

"You feel it too?" She asks, surprise evident in her voice. "I wasn't sure you did…"

"I've never felt it like I feel it with you." Shifting, my girlfriend relaxes beside me and stares up at the ceiling.

"I thought this would be totally one-sided."

"Which?" I furrow my brow.

"Tonight…me telling you I love you." She glances my way, my arm now draped across her waist. "I just…I didn't expect you to feel the same."

"Do you not want me to feel the same?"

"Of course, I do." She gives me a sad smile. "But I thought I would have to work for this. For you. I mean, I thought it would take a lot more than what I've given you so far."

"I love you for you, Eliza." I prop myself up on my elbow, my fingertips working the skin of her chest. "You don't have to _give_ me anything. Just yourself is good enough."

"You know when I came back to Seattle…I thought about just demanding your attention. I thought about walking up to you and dragging you away from her."

"I wish you had." I breathe out.

"Me too." She agrees. "I didn't though and I thought I would always regret that decision. I thought once I'd watched you leave with her and I'd walked away, that was it. I'd never have that opportunity again."

"We're here." My fingers trail her jawline. "Were _so_ here."

"I want you to be happy…" She runs her fingers through my hair. "I want you to be _so_ happy."

"I am," I say with complete confidence. "You make me happy, Eliza."

"I'm here for the _both_ of you." She leans up, her lips pressing against my own. "Sofia is important to me, too."

"You don't know how much it means to hear you say that." I breathe out. "You really don't."

"I do." She counters, nodding slightly. "I do because I know that your daughter is your absolute world. If I can be a part of that world, I'll never need anything else again, Arizona."

"You're ready for the both of us then?" I smirk. "I mean, I don't expect you to be here for me twenty-four seven, but are you sure you're ready for the both of us?"

"More than sure." She pushes me back down on the bed and climbs on top of me. "You…" She presses a kiss to my nose. "...You mean the world to me and whatever comes with that, I'm totally ready for it."

"Yeah, I'm totally head over heels in love with you." Pulling my girlfriend down, my hand wraps around the back of her neck and her gorgeous body relaxes on my own. "Totally."

"Now, I think you should just enjoy the moment." She narrows her eyes. "I'm nowhere near finished with you yet…"

"You're going to be the death of me, Eliza Minnick."

"Oh, I think I'm the one who isn't going to survive this night…not you." Disappearing down my body, my legs spread wider and my girlfriend's breath washes over my throbbing sex before she takes a long firm lick the length of it. "Mm, what a way to fucking go, though."

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.**


	10. Chapter 10

**I Can't Make You Love Me**

* * *

Chapter Ten

* * *

ELIZA'S POV

* * *

I'm back home at my apartment and I'm not sure I've ever felt so lonely. Arizona has gone to collect Sofia from Callie's place and share lunch with them, which I'm totally okay with. I'm okay with it, but I wish she was here with me. I know her daughter comes first and she has to maintain some kind of relationship with Callie but I've had an incredible weekend with her and I didn't want it to end. Why would I? Her hands all over my body…her lips trailing my skin. Yeah, I never wanted it to end. Not even for a moment. Maybe it's selfish of me to think that way and maybe it's selfish to want Arizona in my arms, but hey…I'm human. I'm human and so very in love. I'm hoping to hang out with Arizona and Sofia this evening but I'd understand if my girlfriend wanted to be alone with her daughter. I mean, she's been away for the weekend so time together is exactly what they will want. What they need. I wouldn't expect to just be a part of that, but who knows…maybe Arizona will call me and ask me to stop by. _If she doesn't, that's okay._

It's okay because I have crap to be doing here and if I don't do it soon, I fear it will never get done. I have papers to go through and I have a surgery coming up in a few days that I'm yet to prepare for. I've got it, but I still like to prepare. Deciding to try and push my girlfriend to the back of my mind for a few hours, I pour myself a fresh coffee and drag my tired and lonely ass to the couch. Dropping down, I pull out the paperwork that's been waiting for me since before the weekend happened and busy myself. My cell buzzing on the coffee table, I can see Arizona's name on my screen and like it always does, my heart skips a beat. _Several actually._

 ** _So, I had an amazing weekend with you…_**

 ** _I'm glad I could get your attention. E x_**

 ** _You've ALWAYS got my attention, beautiful. A x_**

 ** _Enjoy your afternoon with Callie and Sofia. E x_**

Opening the file sitting in my lap, I bring my coffee cup to my lips and smile as the aroma hits me. Coffee is the only thing keeping me alive right now and tonight, I have to get an early night. I have to sleep and feel refreshed tomorrow. Arizona can keep me up all night long, but tonight, I need my sleep. I can feel the tiredness in my muscles. I can feel the dull burn in my eyes when I try to concentrate on the page in front of me. Startled when I hear pounding out in the hallway, I furrow my brow and climb from the couch. _I wasn't away of any maintenance being carried out this week._

Tugging my door open, I poke my head out and find a woman two doors down, her luggage sitting beside her. "Excuse me, you think you could keep it down a little?" Her body turning and facing me, my heart drops into my stomach when I immediately recognize her.

"Sorry." She holds up her hands. "The, uh…the woman here?"

"What about her?" I ask, my tone a little harsh.

"Arizona Robbins, Si?"

"Uh, yeah." I clear my throat. "She's not home."

"No, she's not." The tall, gorgeous Italian sighs. "I'll wait." _Ugh, I wish she wouldn't._

"Whatever." I shrug. "Just…quiet, yeah?"

"Si." She gives me an apologetic smile and holds up her hands. "I apologize." Stepping back inside my apartment, I close my door a little harder than I intended and press my back against it. _Fuck. Why is she here?_ I can't compete with that. The language. The Italianness. I mean, we all know the Italians are incredible in bed, and I'm not. I'm not fucking Italian. I'm not the woman who held Arizona when I left and fucked things up. Taking my cell in my hands, I send off a quick message.

 ** _Your ex is outside your apartment…_**

 ** _Um, nope. Callie is sitting opposite me right now. A x_**

 ** _No, the other one. Carina!_**

 ** _Oh…_**

 ** _Yeah, oh. E x_**

Locking my door, I head back for the couch and drop down against it hard. I mean, I don't really know how I feel about her standing outside, but I know that it doesn't feel good. Sure, Arizona and I are okay, but of course I'm going to worry. Why is she here? Arizona broke it off with her so why does she think it's acceptable to be here? To just show up at her door? How does she even know where she lives? Okay, I need to calm down. I need to calm down and just wait this out. I'm expecting Arizona to come here and tell her to leave, but she has her luggage. Does that mean she's here to stay? Does that mean she wants to fight for Arizona? I really don't want to have to fight for my girlfriend. The woman I told last night that I loved her. I don't want to, but I will. I'll fight all the way if I have to.

 ** _I'm coming back. A x_**

 ** _Do what you have to do. E x_**

 ** _What does that mean? A x_**

 ** _It means…do what you have to do. Only you know what you want and you know where I am if you need me. E x_**

 ** _Um, okay? A x_**

 ** _Maybe I'll catch you soon. Say hi to Sofia for me. E x_**

Closing my eyes, I give myself a moment to breathe through this nauseous feeling I have in the pit of my stomach. Yes, Arizona and I have just spent the weekend together. A weekend which ended with us confessing our love for one another…but is that enough? Am I enough for her? I'd like to believe I am but Carina seems to have it all. She is the one who has shown up here and I'm beginning to wonder if that could sway things for my girlfriend. Yes, they broke up, but Carina came back for her. She came back…and I never. I didn't have the balls to show up and take her back. I didn't have it in me to demand her attention. Judging by the way Carina carries herself, that woman has never had to demand to anyone…Arizona included.

I don't know what the rest of this day will hold for me or my relationship, but if it ends, I guess I only have myself to blame. If it ends, it is completely my own fault. Why? Because I was stupid enough to ever let Arizona go the first time around. She doesn't need someone who she can't trust. She doesn't need someone who runs from their problems. Carina doesn't strike me as someone who would do anything like that, so no…I don't hold out much hope for us now that she is here in New York. Just one look from her and Arizona will know she has everything I don't.

 _It was good while it lasted, Minnick. It was good while it lasted…_

* * *

ARIZONA'S POV

Sighing as I lock my cell, I glance up at Callie and she has a questioning look on her face. She knows something is wrong but I don't really want to get into it too much right now. She knows about Carina and my reasons for breaking it off with her and I know how she feels about it all, too. Sofia is her daughter too and the idea of someone not being on board with our girl doesn't sit well with her. Penny was more than welcoming when it came to Sofia being in her life but as usual…it's never that simple for me. I had the woman who rocked my world…but when it came down to it, it was too much for her. When it came down to it…she didn't really want Sofia around. I guess I kinda knew that though from the moment I told her she wanted to come home. I could feel her body tense beside me as we spent the night together. Hearing it falling from my mouth, no…she wasn't impressed.

"What's up?" Callie pulls me from my thoughts and I shake my head slightly. "Arizona?"

"Just…had a message from Eliza." I lower my voice, remembering that Sofia is sitting close by. "Someone is at my place."

"Who?" My ex-wife furrows her brow.

"Carina," I say, barely above a whisper.

"Oh…uh, why?"

"You know just as much as me right now, Cal." I sigh, running my fingers through my hair. "I just…I don't really want her at my place while Sofia is home, you know?"

"No, I don't either." She scoffs. "You should go and see what she wants, though."

"How?" I ask. "Eliza said she is outside my place."

"How does she even know where you live, Arizona?" Callie gives me a knowing look.

"I gave her my address." I breathe out. "A stupid thing to do, I know…I just didn't think she would show up. It was given to her more in a friendly kinda way. I knew we wouldn't be together again, that's for sure."

"If you'd have known Eliza was here, you wouldn't have given her your address." It's more of a statement than a question.

"Yeah, I probably shouldn't have given her it anyway."

"Why did you give her it?" Callie gives me one of those looks that tells me she knows my reasons but I don't want to do this right now. "Come on, you know you can be honest with me."

"In case she changed her mind." I give my ex-wife a sad smile. "I did want to be with her, Callie. Just…things got messed up and I wasn't convinced she wanted all of this." I motion towards our daughter. "You know?"

"So, what now?" She asks. "What if she is here for the one thing you wanted with her…"

"You mean…" Furrowing my brow, the realization hits me square in the chest. "Oh god…she wants this, doesn't she?"

"Well, I don't know the woman and quite frankly, I don't ever want to know her…but you have to remember that it's a possibility." She leans in, her hand settling on my own. "I think Sofia should come back with me until you've been home and spoken to her."

"Which one?" I scoff, a slight laugh falling from my mouth. "Eliza or Carina?"

"Both." She states. "I like Eliza…" She shrugs. "But it's not about who I do or don't like."

"You do?" My smile widens.

"I do." She nods. "We get along really well and she welcomed Sofia the moment she knew you were here." Callie shrugs. "I know what I'd do, but yeah…this is about what you want."

"What would you do?"

"Yeah, I'm not going to even answer that question." She smiles. "Go home and fix things, Arizona."

"You're sure you don't mind taking her back with you?"

"Not at all." She shakes her head. "Maybe you could come by and collect her later…Eliza, too."

"Thank you, Callie." I stand and press a kiss to Sofia's head. I know she is silently giving me her answer, but I already know what and who I want. Eliza. It will always be Eliza. Turning back to face them both, I give my ex-wife a full smile. "Just…thanks."

* * *

Pulling my keys from my purse, I step into the elevator and wait for whatever I'm about to face. Eliza hasn't contacted me since our previous interaction, but I know she is at home and thinking…wondering, even. I can't blame her for that, though. She thought I was happy when she returned to Seattle and so she left again. Is she expecting me to take Carina back? Is she wondering if I'm at my place with her right now familiarising myself with her body? I hope she's not, but I think she is. I know it must have been hard for her to see Carina at my door, but it won't happen again. If I have anything to do with it, anyway.

The doors opening, I step out into the corridor and give myself a moment to just think. To figure out what I should do first. Rounding the corner, I find Carina leaning against the wall next to my apartment door. "Hi." She gives me a full smile.

"Hi." I return one of my own. We didn't end on the worst terms but I still don't know how to behave around her. I mean, I want to be mad at her for just showing up here but I guess she isn't doing anything wrong. "Can you give me a moment?"

"Si." She drops her gaze as I brush past her. "You look great."

"Thanks." I glance back before curling my hand into a fist and knocking loudly on Eliza's door. Hearing movement, I relax my shoulders a little and clear my throat. The door opening, my girlfriend's eyes are swollen and puffy but I can't focus on that right now. Moving past her and into her home, I close the door behind me and she simply watches me, her brow furrowed. Gripping her oversized tee, I pull her in close and crush my lips into her own. Her own hands gripping my body, she is giving me all the answers I need right now. Yes, she is worried. Yes, she thinks I'm letting her go. She's wrong, though. So very wrong. "Before I leave here…" I rest my forehead against her own. "I need you to know that I love you."

"I love you too." Her voice breaks. "B-But she's here."

"I don't care who is or isn't here," I whisper against her mouth. "I'm only here for you. You, Eliza. Us."

"Why is she here?" She asks, her voice painfully low and unsure.

"I don't know." I sigh. "That's what I'm about to find out." I brush my thumb over her bottom lip. "I just needed to see you first."

"Why?"

"Because I knew you would be freaking out." I give her a sad smile. "You have nothing to worry about. I promise."

"Okay." She gives me a slight nod, her lips pressing against my own again.

"Stay with me tonight…" I take her bottom lip between my teeth. "With us. Sofia and I?"

"I'd like that." She smiles against my mouth. "You sure it will be okay with Sofia?"

"She would love for you to hang out with us," I say with complete certainty. "But, I have to go right now, okay?"

"Y-Yeah." She stutters. "I know…"

"I'll be back." I give her a knowing look. "I'll be back and want you to be here…ready and waiting for me, okay?"

"You've got it." She pulls back, releasing me from her grip. "I love you…"

"I love you, too." Giving her one final smile, I pull her door open and step out into the corridor. Carina is watching me with that look in her eye but I'm not interested in a relationship with her. I haven't been since Seattle. _Why can't anything ever be simple for me?_ "Why are you here?" I approach her in the hallway.

"Can we talk?" She asks in that accent that would usually drive me crazy. "Just for five minutes."

"I guess." I nod. "But I only have five minutes because I have to collect Sofia."

"How is she?" Carina asks as I open my door and motion for her to come inside. "Settled?"

"Very settled." A smile curls on my mouth. "It's great to see her so settled." Setting my keys down on the kitchen counter, I lean back against it, my arms folded over my chest. "So, why are you in New York? In my apartment block?"

"I wanted to see you…" She sets her luggage down by the door and closes it behind her. "Needed to see you."

"Why?" I ask. "I figured we'd said everything that needed saying…"

"No." She shakes her head and moves further into my home. "I was stupid." She sighs. "To think I hadn't fallen in love with you…to think that I didn't want this with you…"

"Want what?" Completely dismissing the fact that Carina has just told me she loves me, I clear my throat and remain in my spot.

"To be with you." She smiles. "Sofia, too."

"It was never what you wanted." I scoff. "But that's okay. _I'm_ okay."

"But I'm not." She approaches me, taking my hand in her own. "I thought I didn't want it. I thought I would never need it, but I do. I want you, Arizona."

"And Sofia?" I raise an eyebrow.

"I accept that." She nods. "And I understand why you left."

"You _accept_ it?" I furrow my brow. "You accept that I have a daughter?"

"I never thought I'd meet anyone with kids." She admits. "I never thought I'd fall in love with someone who has kids."

"A lot of people have kids, Carina."

"I didn't think I'd fall in love with _anyone._ " Her eyes holding unshed tears, I feel kinda bad for her hearing her say that. How can anyone not imagine themselves falling in love? _Wait, she's in love with me. Fuck!_ "I'm here and I'm not leaving…"

"What do you mean you're not leaving?" I remove my hand from her own and she drops her gaze.

"I've left Seattle." She says. "My home is New York now. With you…I hope."

"No." I shake my head, my own voice low. "Your home isn't with me."

"It is." She counters. "That's how it should be, right?" Moving that little bit closer to me, I slip out from between her and the kitchen counter only for her to grip my wrist. "Arizona, I'm sorry." Suddenly crushing her lips into my own, I'm startled and so very fucked right now.

"Stop." I push her away. "Just stop!"

"Please…"

"No." I hold up my hands. "I'm involved, Carina. I'm involved and you...you just kissed me!"

"Y-You, what?" She furrows her brow. "But I'm here…"

"I know you are." I scoff. "You've just made that perfectly clear."

"Who?" She steps back, her shoulders slumping.

"Eliza." I give her a sad smile. "Eliza Minnick."

"The one I made you forget?" She laughs. "The one who 'ghosted' you."

"The one I love…" Never sounding so sure of anything in my life as that comment I've just made, I take my keys from the kitchen counter and head for the door. "I need you to leave…"

"But, I just got here."

"I gave you five minutes." I sigh. "It's been great seeing you but I have a daughter that should be here with me…"

"I want to talk to you more…" She lifts the handle on her luggage and wheels it to the door. "I didn't come here to just leave…"

"I'm sorry." Watching Carina walk away, I can feel the tears threatening to fall. Not because she is here but because she kissed me. She kissed me and now I have to go and relay that information to Eliza. I don't know what her reaction will be but I'd never keep something like that from her. It may end us or it may cause issues, but I'd still never keep it from her. _This can't end. It feels too good to end…_

Closing my door, I glance down the hallway at my girlfriend's apartment and release a deep breath. The sooner I tell her, the sooner we can work through this. Crossing the short distance, I knock loudly and hold my breathe. Tears slipping down my face, it was only a matter of time before the realisation of what is about to happen set in. Her door opening, she gives me a full smile before furrowing her brow. "Arizona?"

"I'm so sorry, Eliza."

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.**


	11. Chapter 11

**I Can't Make You Love Me**

* * *

Chapter Eleven

* * *

ELIZA'S POV

* * *

"Hey, what's wrong?" Pulling my girlfriend inside my apartment, I wrap her up in my arms and she sobs into my chest. "Arizona, talk to me…"

"Just….wait." Her arms wrap around my waist and she holds me like she's about to lose me. "One more minute."

"O-Okay."

"One more minute before I say what I have to say…" She cries. "I just need this for one more minute." Her body relaxing against my own, I have a sinking feeling settling within me.

"Is everything okay?" I ask. "Nothing has happened to Sofia has it?"

"No, Sofia is okay." She pulls back and wipes the tears from her jawline. "Kinda sweet how you worry about her…"

"She's your daughter." I brush my thumb across a damp cheek. "She's important to me."

"God, I love you." She breathes out. "I love you and Carina just kissed me but it meant nothing." Her words rushed so as not to refuse to say them, her arms fall from around my waist and I take a step back. "And I know…" She gives me a sad smile. "I know we are probably now over, but I love you and that is all you need to know." Backing up towards the door, I study her face and I can see the complete hurt in her eyes. "I could've kept it from you and went on like nothing had happened, but I wouldn't do that to you. I wouldn't ever keep something like that from you." Releasing a deep breath, her back connects with the door and her legs look a little unsteady. "I'm sorry, and I love you…"

"I love you, too." I close the distance between us. "And while what she did is not okay, we are." Pressing my lips against Arizona's, I need to rid them of that fucking woman. She may think she can come here and do as she pleases but she can't. She can't, and I won't back down. "You wanna sit for a moment?"

"Y-Yeah." A look of confusion on her face, I suspect she didn't quite plan on that reaction from me. "What's going on?"

"We're sitting down for a minute, no?"

"Well, yeah…but why? Why aren't you mad?"

"Oh, I am." I laugh. "But not at you."

"O...kay." She furrows her brow as I drop down on the couch and pull her into my lap.

"I don't want you upsetting yourself, Arizona." Brushing a few stray hairs from her face, she leans into my touch and closes her eyes. "I'll deal with her another time but right now, I need you to be okay."

"I am." She whispers, her eyes still closed. "I thought you would ask me to leave."

"No way." I say with certainty. "I only just got you back…"

"It didn't mean anything." Her blue eyes open and focus on my own. "I promise…"

"I know." I lean in, pressing my lips to her own. "If it did, you wouldn't be so upset right now…"

"It just happened." She sighs. "It happened and I honestly didn't expect it." I know she is being truthful with me. I can see the honesty shining from her. "You are all I care about." Her hand settles on the side of my face. "I need us to be okay about this…"

"We are." I smile. "Did she know? That we're together…"

"Not before she kissed me, no." My girlfriend shakes her head. "Maybe I should've led with it…"

"Don't blame yourself." I give her a knowing look. "If she didn't know, I'll let it slide. But if she did, I swear to God."

"She didn't know." Arizona tries to calm me. "But it won't happen again, I swear."

"I know, baby." Giving her a reassuring smile, she releases a deep breath and I think she is beginning to realize that we're okay. _It's hard not to be when she is in my lap. My arms._ "You should go and collect Sofia."

"You'll come with me, right?"

"I'd love to but I really need to finish up this paperwork if I'm spending the night at your place." I know she is disappointed, but I really do have to work. "I'm sorry, you know I want to."

"It's okay." She nods slowly. "It was Callie who suggested it and I kinda hoped you would, but it's okay."

"Callie?"

"I told her Carina was here." She shrugs. "She gave me her opinion and then said you should collect Sofia with me." _Damn, now I feel like an ass for not going with her._

"Next time…I promise."

"Okay." She climbs off of me and straightens herself out. "I'll see you later…"

"Hey…" I rush to my feet and approach her at the door. "I really have to finish this work." I take her hands in my own. "You know I want to be with you guys, but I want to be able to fall asleep in your arms tonight without worrying I've missed something…"

"I know." She gives me a small smile. "Just…kinda don't want to leave you…"

"Call me later once you're home and Sofia is settled." I press a kiss to her lips. "I'll be there before you know it."

"Promise?"

"Of course, I promise." I furrow my brow.

"Just…if this is a problem, you need to tell me, okay?" She glances up at me, uncertainty in her eyes. "I'm not a mind reader, Eliza. Just…you have to tell me."

"It's not a problem," I say with certainty. "I promise. Go and get your girl and I'll see you in a few hours." One final kiss on her lips and she is stepping out of my door. I know she is upset right now and no, I don't want her to leave…but she will be home soon and then we can relax and together. I'm almost done with the work I have to get through and from now on, I won't bring it home with me unless absolutely necessary. My time at home should be given to Arizona and Sofia, so no…no more bringing work home with me. Taking my cell from the counter, I release a deep sigh and bring up Arizona's last message to me.

 ** _I love you and we're okay. Eliza x_**

 ** _I don't know what I did to deserve you. A x_**

 ** _You were yourself. Yourself…and I freaking love it. E x_**

 ** _I love you. A x_**

Relaxing into my seat, I'm trying to push Carina from my mind. I know we need to talk about their conversation but its not important right now. So long as Arizona and I are okay, none of it is important. Yes, I'm kinda hoping that Carina is just going to leave and that's that, but is that going to happen? Nope. In the life of Eliza Minnick, that _never_ happens.

* * *

Stepping out of the shower, I wrap myself up in a huge towel and glance over myself in the mirror. I'm not feeling as tired as I was earlier today but yeah, I'm totally ready to climb into bed with my girlfriend. I think we both need it after the day we've had. Arizona, more so than me. I know she's home since I heard Sofia giggling in the corridor a while ago but I'm guessing they're busy right now. I'm not familiar with her daughters routine yet but I'm sure I'll get the hang of it. Heading for the kitchen, I check my cell and furrow my brow when I find four missed calls followed by a text message.

 ** _I tried calling but I guess you've had a change of heart. I am sorry about what happened with Carina. A x_**

 _Whoa, no. No no no._ Hitting the button that will call Arizona's cell, I rush off to the bedroom and wait for my call to connect. "Hello? Arizona?"

"H-Hi." She stutters, her voice low. "I didn't expect to hear from you…"

"Why?" I ask. "I'm sorry I missed your calls, I was taking a shower."

"That's okay." She sighs. "I know you have a lot on so I'll just say goodnight."

"Is everything okay?" I furrow my brow. "I mean, it's only seven."

"Yeah, just going to spend some time with Sofia before her bedtime." She clears her throat. "I could use an early night…"

"Me too." I hint, unsure of whether she wants me at her place. My plan had always been to spend the night with her but I'm not sure she wants that anymore.

"Okay, just call me when you're out of the hospital tomorrow if you wanted to come by."

"Um, Arizona?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you." Narrowing my eyes as I try to gauge her reaction down the phone, I hear a slight sniffle filtering through my cell.

"I love you, too." The call ending, I drop my cell to the bed and pull on some yoga pants and an oversized tee. I don't know what's going on with her right now but I'm not leaving this until morning. My night was complete at the prospect of sharing it with Arizona but now that's not going to happen. That's fine, but I want to at least see her. I want to at least check that she is okay. Grabbing my cell, I rush out into the living room and take my keys from the table beside the door.

Heading out into the corridor, barefoot, I don't really need anything else with me right now. If I somehow manage to spend the night, I can sleep in what I'm wearing. I just need to see Arizona. She left kinda quickly earlier but I thought nothing of it. Nothing until now when she is clearly upset on the phone to me. Knocking quietly so as not to disturb Sofia, I hear movement behind the door and it suddenly opens. "Eliza…" Giving me a sad smile, Arizona glances back over her shoulder and I catch sight of Sofia snuggled on the couch. "Sorry, I just couldn't really speak before…"

"About what?" I furrow my brow.

"About us."

"There still is an us, right?" I suddenly don't feel so good about being here. I thought we were good. Surely I'm the one who is supposed to be undecided after Carina's arrival today? Surely I'm the one who is supposed to be questioning things? "I don't know what I've done wrong…"

"You haven't done anything wrong." She shakes her head slightly. "Did you genuinely miss my calls before?"

"I was just taking a shower." I step closer to her. "I didn't purposely ignore your calls."

"Sorry, I just thought you had changed your mind about earlier." She drops her gaze. "I've just had a bad day."

"But that doesn't have to continue." I dip my head a little and meet her eyes. "It can end better…if that's what you want?"

"You'll stay?" She steps out into the corridor and pulls the door closed. "All night?"

"All night." My body now pressing against her own, my hand settles on her lower back as I wrap my arm around her waist. "I don't know what is going on inside that head of yours…but it's not the same as whats going on in mine."

"I hate feeling like this…" Arizona presses her forehead against my own.

"Like what?"

"Uncertain." She says. "Like something is always going to go wrong."

"What's going wrong?" I furrow my brow, my thumb brushing her cheek. "Something with us?"

"No, but I feel like it's only a matter of time."

"We're good, Arizona." My lips ghost over her own. "We really are." Pushing the door back open, I figure it's time to just show her that I'm here for her. It's time to take matters into my own hands. "Come on, I want to say hi to Sofia before it's time for her to sleep." Giving me a soft smile, we move into her home and the miniature brunette on the couch suddenly springs to life.

"ELIZA!" Rushing from the couch, she stops dead in front of me, unsure of what the next move should be. "You came by…"

"I did." I give her my best smile. "Wanna hang out a while?"

"Can we, mommy?" She glances up at Arizona, a toothy grin on display.

"Of course, you can." She gives her daughter a dimpled smile. "You have to sleep soon, though…"

"I know." She rolls her eyes as she takes me by the hand and pulls me towards the couch. "Eliza?" Sofia turns to face me fully and I seem to be hanging on her every word. "What do you do?"

"You mean my job?" I ask and she nods. "I'm a doctor just like your mommy."

"Awesome." She grins. "My mama breaks bones."

"Oh yeah?" I narrow my eyes. "I know your mama…and I break bones, too."

"Nu-uh." She shakes her head. "Do not."

"Oh, I do." Arizona rounds the couch and slips in behind me, her arm draped over the back of the couch. "Isn't that right?" I glance at my girlfriend.

"Sure is." She agrees. "Eliza works at the same hospital as mama, Sof."

"Really?" She asks, excitement in her voice. "I didn't see you."

"You go by the hospital?"

"Only when I don't like school." She shrugs. "But I like school here so I don't go by so much anymore."

"School is good now?"

"Yah." She nods. "My best friends are at my school here. Do you have a best friend."

"Of course, I do." I nod as I throw my thumb over my shoulder. "Mommy…"

"But mommy is your girlfriend…" She furrows her brow. _Okay, I've totally confused the kid._ "She's your best friend too?"

"She is." Arizona rests her hand on my thigh and I know she is silently thanking me for being so willing with her daughter. "And what an awesome best friend to have…"

"Mommy's pretty."

"Thanks, Sofia." Arizona cuts in. "At least if all else fails, I have my daughters opinion to fall back on." A slight laugh falling from her mouth, I glance her way, my brow furrowed. "Sofia, five more minutes and it's time to call it a night, okay?"

"Okay, mommy." Arizona stands and heads down the hall. She is definitely feeling a little off tonight but I don't know what else to say to her. She knows I love her and there are only so many times I can tell her we're okay before I start questioning it myself. "Mommy missed you…"

"She did, huh?" A small smile curls on my mouth.

"And she cried." Sofia whispers. "A lot."

"Maybe she needs a super long cuddle?" I suggest. "What do you think?"

"Mmhmm." She nods, her eyes fixing on the tv in front of her. "Mommy loves cuddles."

"SOFIA!" Arizona yells from her daughter's bedroom. "Say goodnight to Eliza."

"Goodnight, Eliza." She sighs as she climbs across the couch and hugs me. "Will I see you tomorrow?"

"You will." I pull back and throw her a wink. "Goodnight, Sof." Jumping from the couch, she rushes off towards her bedroom and I'm suddenly left alone with nothing but silence and my thoughts for company. I guess it's just been a crazy day for my girlfriend. If she needs to talk though, she knows I'll listen. I could've freaked out when she came to my place earlier, but I didn't. I didn't because I didn't need to. I know I've got her, and I'd hope she would know that I've got her, too.

"God, I cannot wait for this day to be over." Arizona drops down beside me and rests her head back, her eyes closing as she does. "I really can't."

 _Talk it out, Eliza. Talk it out…_

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.**


	12. Chapter 12

**I Can't Make You Love Me**

* * *

Chapter Twelve

* * *

ARIZONA'S POV

* * *

I can't believe Eliza is still here. I know I left her place feeling reassured earlier, but as the day went on, that feeling I had only lessened. It only left me wondering if Eliza was truly okay with Carina and the fact that she kissed me. _Why would she be fine about it?_ I wouldn't. I'd have freaked out. _Yeah, she's better than that._ I mean, I'm sitting here with her now and her hand is securely in my own. Yes, she's been quiet but she's probably scared to strike up a conversation after my behaviour this evening. Who could blame her for that? I'm just the crazy lady who makes something out of nothing. _It's no wonder they always leave._ Scoffing to myself, my girlfriend glances my way and gives me a look of confusion. My eyes fixed on the TV in front of us, Eliza's grip tightens and a smile curls on my mouth. I feel like I need to tell her everything. How I'm feeling. How I'm terrified to lose her now that I have her back. I'm not sure Eliza knows how serious Carina and I were…and even though it's her that I want, I can't deny the fact that she has every right to show up at my place and tell me she loves me. Why would she have known I was involved? Why would she assume we couldn't be together?

"Okay, I need your words, Arizona." Eliza turns to face me better. "I just…I need to know what you're thinking because this silence is driving me crazy."

"I'm sorry." I give her a small smile. "Can we talk?"

"Please…" She breathes out as she nods slightly. "I'd like that." _Yeah, I'm not sure that's completely true._

"I gave her my address," I admit. "Carina…I gave Carina my address."

"O...kay."

"Because I thought maybe one day she would change her mind." I clear my throat. "We didn't end on bad terms. We just…I left her because I was coming here. I left her for New York."

"But you said she didn't want Sofia around."

"She didn't...I don't think." Running my fingers through my hair, I relax back and shake my head. "When she came here today…she uh, she told me she loves me."

"Wow, okay." Eliza breathes out. "And you said?"

"I didn't say anything."

"How can you not say anything to that?" She scoffs. "Someone shows up at your door and tells you they love you…yeah, you usually have a response to that."

"But I didn't." I shrug. "I didn't have a response because I don't feel the same."

"Maybe not but she's here to stay, isn't she?"

"She said she is, yeah." I give Eliza a slight nod. "I just wanted to be honest with you. Give you the opportunity to do what is right for you."

"And what is right for me?" She asks, incredulously. "Are you giving me an out?"

"I am, yes." I agree. "Not because I want you to leave, but because I wouldn't expect you to stay if this isn't what you want."

"If what isn't what I want?" She shifts back a little, creating some distance. "Arizona?"

"She's very persistent." I sigh. "I just…I guess I'm waiting for this to all end. I'm waiting for you to finally realize that you didn't come back to me for a reason…"

"My reason was that I was a coward." She scoffs. "But I'm not sure you want this with me now that she is back. I mean, why would you?"

"Why would I want to be with you?" I furrow my brow. "Because I love you, Eliza."

"Look, I know her being here has thrown you a little but I'm here. I'm not going anywhere. What do I have to do to show you that?"

"You don't have to do anything." I give her a full smile. "I'm just saying…I expect her to come back here."

"Honestly, I'm expecting it myself." She laughs. "Good thing I'll be here when she does though, huh?

"I guess what I wanted to say _originally_ is that it's you I want. No matter how many times she comes back, it's you I want. It's _you_ I love."

"I know." She shrugs, her confidence settling me. "And at the end of all of this…you will still be screaming _my_ name, not hers." Our conversation suddenly changing along with the temperature in the room, Eliza leans in and takes my bottom lip between her teeth. "I'm not worried about us, Arizona…" Climbing over me, she straddles my legs and smiles into a kiss. "Maybe I should be, but I'm not."

"You really want this to work as much as I do, don't you?" I pull back, my hand slipping up and under her oversized tee. "You want to get this right…"

"More than anything." She rests her forehead against my own. "I know everything feels crazy right now but it will settle down."

"I just don't want anything or anyone to ruin this," I whisper against her mouth. "It feels too good."

"It does," Eliza smirks. "It feels like it should've always felt."

"I slept with her…" The words suddenly falling from my lips, Eliza doesn't even flinch.

"Um, kinda figured that out myself." She laughs.

"The day you left…I slept with her." I know Eliza probably doesn't need to hear this but I don't know how far Carina is willing to go to try and get me back. If she shows up here with something to say, I have to have all of my bases covered. "But it wasn't because I didn't care about you, Eliza. I just…I was so mad at you for disappearing. I just needed to forget."

"Hey…" She braces herself against the back of the couch. "Whatever happened…happened."

"You're not mad?" I furrow my brow and she pops a button on my blouse.

"Do I look mad?" She asks, another button popping. "I mean, if you need me to look mad, I can totally do that…"

"N-No." I swallow hard as her eyes darken. "Not necessary."

"Good answer." She throws me a wink as she dips her head and trails her tongue along my jawline. Lowering her voice, she breathes hard against my ear. "Now, as much as I'd love to fuck you right here and now, I think we should take this to the bedroom."

"You're incredible." My breathing labored, Eliza climbs off of me and pulls me up to my feet. My blouse falling open, she turns me in her arms and presses her body against my back, her hand ghosting down the skin of my stomach. "Eliza…" I gasp as her hand moves lower, slowly slipping past the waistband of my jeans.

"Move that gorgeous ass, Robbins." Her arm wraps around my waist from behind as she slowly moves us towards the bedroom door. "You know how much I need to taste you." Her lips pressing below my ear, my eyes close and my mouth falls open. "It's the only thing I've thought about all day…"

* * *

 _That sound is amazing._ Closing my eyes as I pull myself up onto a stool, Eliza and Sofia are in the bathroom laughing. Eliza took it upon herself today to help my daughter prepare for school and honestly, I could watch them and listen to them all day long. I mean, I always thought that being a single mom would hold my love life back, but it hasn't. At least, not with Eliza. I haven't once wondered if she wanted this. Us. I haven't once worried about her intentions with Sofia. My daughter is falling in love with my girlfriend just as much as I am, and it's a beautiful thing. So long as this remains how it is, we cannot go wrong. Sofia is no stranger to having another woman in her life and I'm so proud of how well she copes with it. She hasn't brought up Penny since Callie split with her, but I guess that is her own choice. I know she was fond of Callie's ex, but we have enough love to give her with or without anyone else being involved.

A knock on the door pulling me from my thoughts, I set my coffee cup down and pull my hair up into a messy bun. Eliza is working today and my plan is to finish up some more unpacking once Sofia is at school. My girlfriend has a few hours this morning before she has to leave but I'm not sure of her plans. _Maybe she will hang out here, I don't know._ Trying not to think too hard about it, I cross the distance to my front door and pull it open. "Arizona, hi."

"Carina…" I glance back over my shoulder. "What are you doing here?"

"I told you I wanted to talk…" She furrows her brow. "I think we both deserve that, no?"

"I don't know what you want me to say to you." I lower my tone. "I have to get Sofia ready for school."

"She's here, isn't she?"

"I don't think that is any of your concern." I give her a look of confusion. "I know you think you deserve some kind of answers, but I don't have any to give you."

"Can we share coffee?" She gives me a pleading look. "Please?" About to blow her off, I feel a presence behind me and my heart suddenly pounds in my chest. _Here it goes…_

"Sure you can." Eliza appears behind me. "Come on in." Giving Carina her best smile, I'm not entirely sure what is going on right now.

"I, uh…" Giving my girlfriend a questioning look, she presses a kiss below my ear and disappears further into my apartment.

"Sofia is putting on her shoes…" My girlfriend turns back, leaning against the kitchen counter.

"I'm not doing this with her here." Carina scoffs. "Why _is_ she here?"

"I have a name and I'm standing right in front of you." Eliza gives my ex a sarcastic smile and I simply watch on in disbelief. "I'd appreciate it if you remembered that."

"You left her." Carina spits, her voice raised. "You just…you disappeared."

"That isn't any of your business." Eliza clears her throat and steps a little closer. "And you won't raise your voice like that again."

"Pathetic." She scoffs as she throws her hands up.

"Sofia is home and we aren't doing this." Eliza shakes her head. "You won't come here demanding answers from my girlfriend and raising your voice when Sofia is here. You really won't."

"Girlfriend." Carina rolls her eyes. "You have no idea what you did to her when you left."

"Oh, I do." She nods, closing the distance a little more. "Now, I'm leaving…and you are welcome to stay, but you lay your hands…or your lips on Arizona…" My girlfriend smiles. "Yeah, I think you know how it will go."

"I have to get Sofia to school, Eliza." I grip her wrist as she turns to leave.

"I'm taking the little lady this morning." She shrugs. "It was decided before when she basically demanded I take her." Smiling, she plants a kiss on my lips and heads back to Sofia's bedroom. "You ready, Sof?"

"Yep." My daughter comes rushing from her bedroom, her jacket on and her rucksack over her shoulders. _Okay, even I don't have her ready like this each morning._ This girl is a keeper. Smirking to myself when Eliza's eyes find my own, Sofia runs to my side and wraps her arms around my waist. "Love you, mommy."

"I love you too, big girl." Leaning down and pressing a kiss to her head, she approaches the door.

"Hi, Carina."

"Hi, Sofia." My ex gives my daughter a full smile. "Have fun at school."

"I will." She shrugs her backpack up onto her shoulders a little better. "Eliza, come on."

"Right, yeah." Eliza slips her jacket over her shoulders. "I'm coming." Laughing at just how demanding my daughter is, my girlfriend rolls her eyes playfully before stopping in front of me. "I'm making us dinner tonight…"

"I'd like that." I give her a full smile.

"I don't know if I'll see you before work but I'll call you if I'm not coming back here, okay?"

"Okay." I sigh. Yes, I was hoping I would get the morning with my girlfriend but that all kinda turned to shit when Carina showed up here…again.

"I love you." She heads to the door and out into the hallway.

"I love you, too." Watching the door close, I glance back at Carina and find her standing in my living room, open-mouthed. "You cant just show up here like that."

"It was never a problem before…"

"And you won't behave like that again, either." I give her a knowing look. "Sofia doesn't need to be around this hostility."

"Well, if she hadn't been here…that wouldn't have happened." Carina drops down onto the couch. "I don't know what to do, Arizona."

"About what?"

"I came here for you. I wanted to try with you." She stares me down. "I have a job here and I wanted us to be together."

"You have a job here?" I raise an eyebrow. "With who?"

"With you." She sighs. "Nicole called me when you left. Said she could use me with you both."

"Oh, no." I shake my head. "She can't just do that." _She's Nicole Herman, she can and will do what she wants._ Damn it! " _You_ can't just do that."

"It's my career, Arizona." She furrows her brow. "Just because you took Eliza back, that doesn't mean I shouldn't be here and working."

"What happened to you being a free spirit?" I scoff. "What happened to you traveling and doing whatever you want?"

"You tamed me." She smiles. "You…nobody else."

"I can't do this with you, Carina." I shake my head. "I appreciate you coming here and trying to work things out, but I'm happy." I give her a sad smile. "For the first time in a long time, I'm truly happy."

"She makes you happy?" She raises her eyebrow, unconvinced. "Eliza, makes you happy?"

"She does," I say with complete certainty. "She makes me very happy."

"You just forgave her…"

"Yeah, I guess I did." I breathe out, dropping down beside my ex. "She came back for me."

"Sure she did."

"She saw me with you and decided against pursuing me," I admit. "She didn't want to ruin my life anymore so she walked away…again."

"Can you be sure she wants all of this?" Carina asks, taking my hand in her own. "Do you know that she isn't playing uh, happy family because its what you want?"

"I can." _How dare she suggest that Eliza is simply giving me what I want._ "If she didn't want this, she wouldn't be here."

"And you are sure?"

"More than sure." I pull my hand from her own. "Eliza and I are working through this." I give her a knowing look. "I know you cannot or do not want to accept that, but I need you to, Carina."

"I will be here." She stands, straightening herself out and wiping a tear from her jawline. "When this falls apart, I will be here."

"It won't." I sigh as I stand and head for the door. "It won't fall apart."

"Just…I hope you are sure of her intentions." Carina pulls the door open. "I hope she doesn't hurt you again."

"Me too." I smile. "Do you really have a job here? At the clinic?"

"Si, I do." She nods.

"Great." I give her my best fake smile. _Really fucking great._ "See you around." Closing the door, I head straight to my cell on the kitchen counter and pull up Eliza's details.

 ** _I was hoping to spend the morning with you. A x_**

 ** _Sofia safely dropped at school. You need to talk to Carina. E x_**

 ** _She's gone. Come back, please? A x_**

 ** _On my way. I love you. E x_**

 ** _I love you, too. A x_**

Smiling when I feel the stress leave my shoulders, I drop down on the couch and lay my head back, my eyes closing. I cannot believe Herman would offer Carina a job, but I guess she's right. Just because I don't want anything with her, it doesn't mean we shouldn't be able to work with each other. We have to be adult about this, I know that…I just don't think it's a good idea to remain friends or colleagues in any capacity. I don't think it's a good idea, at least not when Eliza and I are just getting back to a good place. A happy place.

She knows I don't want anything with Carina, and I have to remember that. I have to stop worrying about what could possibly be and just live for the moment. Live for now. I cannot control anything that may happen in the future but I _can_ control my relationship right now. My relationship that is growing more and more perfect as the days pass. If we have to reassure each other occasionally to keep things running smoothly then we will do that. That's okay. Right now though, I want to spend the morning with Eliza. Once she leaves for the hospital…anything can happen. I could be spending the evening with her, or I could be sleeping alone.

 _The joys of an unpredictable schedule…_

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.**

 **Hoping for another chapter today if you guys want it.**


	13. Chapter 13

**I Can't Make You Love Me**

* * *

Chapter Thirteen

* * *

ELIZA'S POV

* * *

 _Fucking Carina._ I swear I don't know where that woman gets off on showing up at Arizona's place. I mean, who does that? Who just turns up at someone's door first thing in the morning and wants to talk? Sure, she is free to do what and go where she pleases, so long as it is nowhere near my girlfriend. Arizona told her yesterday that we're together so I find it a little unusual that she was back at her place this morning and still wanting answers. _Didn't expect me to be there, I'll bet._ She can stop with all of that nonsense. Dropping by and sharing coffee. Yeah, that isn't about to become a regular thing, I can promise her that. I can promise her that I will be there whenever she is. If I have to watch her like a freaking hawk, I will. For the rest of my fucking days if needs be.

Pulling my tablet from its holder, I hit the screen and make my way down the corridor towards my patient. I have forty minutes or so before my surgery and I plan on spending it alone. Without work on my mind. I just want five minutes to relax before I head down to the OR and scrub in. I just want five minutes to text my girlfriend and check in with her. She seemed more than okay before I left for work but I just like to be sure. I know she has been feeling a little off since Carina arrived in New York but she knows she doesn't have anything to worry about. Not where our relationship is concerned, anyway. I kinda got the impression that she had some things to say to me but before we got the chance to talk, it was time for me to leave. I hate having to leave her home alone and thinking, but I'll be there this evening. Well, providing everything goes to plan anyway.

Sneaking off down a corridor, I find myself by one of the floor to ceiling windows, the New York skyline just dragging me in. I love being here. I love the bustle of the city. I love not knowing what I'm going to find when I turn each corner. It was the right decision to move here and I will always believe that. I'm beginning to think Arizona made the right choice, too. I never thought she would leave Grey Sloan behind but I guess change comes to all of us. Sometimes when we want it to and sometimes when it's out of our control. Either way, change comes and we have to deal with it.

 ** _I miss you. E x_**

 ** _I miss you too. A x_**

Smiling at the immediate response from my girlfriend, I'm going to assume she is sitting alone and bored. She is so used to working ridiculous hours every week that I'm not sure she knows what to do with herself. She will figure it all out though, and she will soon be at the clinic…just being her general awesome self.

 ** _What are you doing? E x_**

 ** _Staring at the freaking walls. A x_**

 ** _Sorry… E x_**

 ** _Why are you sorry? It's hardly your fault. A x_**

 ** _But I would rather be home with you than here. E x_**

 ** _Home, huh? A x_**

 ** _Not what I meant… E x_**

 ** _Shame. Get to work, Dr. Minnick. A x_**

Okay, what does that even mean? Is she saying she wants a home with me? Surely not. Surely she is barely even okay with us being back together. Honestly, I haven't thought about living together once since we reconnected. Yes, I love being there…but it would be a big adjustment for all of us. I don't want anything to knock Sofia's routine and me joining in their every move is sure to do that. I know it is.

 ** _I'll see you tonight. E x_**

 ** _Yes…Yes, you will. A x_**

Glancing at the time, it's a little before midday and I know that the next five or six hours are going to drag. They'll drag because I should be with Arizona, and they will drag because I want to be _anywhere_ but here. I love my job, I really do, but sometimes I want a break from it all. Sometimes, I want to lock the world outside and stay in my perfect little bubble. A bubble that now includes Arizona and her adorable kid. My cell buzzing in my hand, I hit the accept button. "Torres?"

"Hey, Minnick." She breathes out. "Surgery canceled."

"What? Why?" I try to act surprised but I'm secretly thrilled.

"Mr. Johnson has an infection. Rescheduling."

"Oh, that's a shame." I feign disappointment. "Got anything else for me?"

"No, not right now." She replies. "You wanna leave? I know you were only here for the surgery anyway."

"Sure, unless you wanna go?" I offer. _Please don't say yes._ "I can cover you."

"No, I'm good. Only got another hour until I'm off." Callie says. "Oh, and can you let Arizona know I'll be getting Sofia from school? One of the kids has a party…"

"Sure. She doesn't know about it?"

"I may have forgotten to run it by her." She clears her throat. "Just…had a lot on."

"No problem." I smile. "I'll call her now. Bye, Torres."

"See ya." Our call ending, I decide against contacting Arizona. I know she is home and I know she is partial to a surprise so that is exactly what I'll do. I'll just show up and we can spend the rest of the day together until Sofia comes home. I love her being there, but I also love a little alone time with my girlfriend. Whether that is for snuggles on the couch or something more, I'll take whatever I can get.

 ** _Does Sofia need dinner tonight? Eliza._**

 ** _No, don't worry about it. Callie._**

 ** _You sure? I'm cooking and it wouldn't be a problem. Eliza._**

 ** _Just enjoy your evening. I'll bring her home around seven. Callie._**

 ** _Got it. Eliza._**

A sudden spring in my step as I head for the locker room, I shove my cell into my lab coat pocket and return my tablet to the nurse's station. I'm beginning to feel at home here and honestly, Callie has been a godsend. I've worked with other Chief's of Ortho before and none of them have been like her. None of them have been welcoming and respectful like she has. I'd like to believe that it's because I'm spending time with her kid, but she didn't know who I was when I arrived here and nothing has changed since she was made aware of who I am. I can only appreciate that and honestly, hope that it doesn't one day change.

* * *

Stepping out of the elevator, I quietly slip past Arizona's apartment and head for my own. I don't plan on being there too long but I want to drop my crap off and make sure I'm looking okay. I'm sure Arizona wouldn't be bothered either way, but maybe I'll just change into something less formal before I knock on her door. Slipping my key into the lock quietly, I push the door open and set down the arrangement of flowers I picked up for my girlfriend on the way home from the hospital. They're not for any particular reason, but they make her smile so I couldn't resist. Anything that makes my girlfriend smile works for me, it really does.

Heading straight into the bedroom, I rummage through my closet and find the most comfortable clothes I've got. Since I managed to get out of work early, I plan on relaxing. I know my girlfriend doesn't have anything planned and I'm sure she is down for relaxing too. _Please don't suddenly have plans, Arizona._ Stripping my pants and my blouse from my body, I decide on an old university tee that has seen better days and a pair of grey sweats. Sure, I may be overly comfortable but it's how I spend my downtime. Lounging and eating crap. Arizona knows this…we've shared a few days like it in the past. _Okay, underwear…yes or no?_ Warring with myself, I shrug and remove both items until I'm butt naked in my bedroom. I don't like to assume, but yeah…I'm totally assuming right now. Neither of us can keep our hands off of each other so why create more barriers than necessary? Why put material in the way when it's only going to be thrown to the floor at some point this evening? Pulling my sweats and tee on, I remain barefoot and head back into the kitchen.

Grabbing a few essentials from the cupboard, I somehow manage to take the flowers in my hand and grab my keys from the table. Tugging at the door, I slip out into the hallway and quietly lock up my apartment. I'm in stealth mode right now but it will all be worth it in a few moments when Arizona opens her door with that gorgeous beaming smile of hers. Curling my hand into a fist, I'm about to knock when I hear giggling behind her door. _O…kay._ I don't know what is going on right now but I'm not going to assume it's anything inappropriate with someone who shouldn't be here. _Yeah, you shouldn't even be thinking that way, Minnick._ Arizona would never do anything to hurt me. Deciding to just knock and get this over with, her apartment falls silent and Arizona's door suddenly opens. "Um, hi." I hold out the arrangement of flowers and she removes her cell from her ear.

"W-What are you doing here?" Her smile widens as she takes them from me.

"Surgery got canceled." I shrug, bags of chips and other various snacks under my arms. "Can I come in?"

"You know you can." She steps to the side and brings the flowers up to her nose. "April…" She smiles into her cell. "I gotta go. Someone just unexpectedly showed up."

"Hi, April," I shout.

"She says hi." My girlfriend grins. "Okay, I'll call you through the week." Ending the call, Arizona throws her cell to the couch and wraps her arm around my waist, pulling me in ridiculously close. "You don't know how good it is to see you here right now…"

"Did you need me?" I give her a sad smile as I brush my thumb across her bottom lip. "Poor baby."

"I always need you here with me." She grips my jaw gently and presses her lips to my own. "Mm, you taste as good as you did this morning."

"Yeah?" I smirk against her mouth. "So, I can stay?"

"Damn right you can." She whispers. "Move that ass so I can lock the door." Doing as she asks, I head for the kitchen and set down the snacks I've brought with me. I think I need some Arizona time before we relax and judging by the greeting I got from her, she could use some of the exact same time as me right now. "Couch!" She demands.

"Well, okay then." I give her a nod and round the couch. Dropping down, Arizona appears beside me and glances up and down my body. "Did you go home after the hospital?" She narrows her eyes.

"Yeah, wanted to change."

"Before coming here to see me?" She raises her eyebrow.

"Y-Yeah." I furrow my brow. "But I'm here and I was at my place for like five minutes."

"So, you're telling me…" She straddles my legs. "That you went home when you knew how much I was missing you?"

"Sorry…" I glance up at her. "I'm here now…"

"Oh, I know you are." She smiles against my mouth. "And I've got you all to myself."

"U-Until seven…" I stutter as her hand disappears up my tee, her fingertips connecting with my hardening nipples. "C-Callie is collecting Sofia. Party." Taking my bottom lip between my teeth, Arizona simply nods and tugs my nipple a little harder. "She asked me to tell you…"

"And you have done that." She breathes against my mouth. "How about this shirt goes?" Lifting it up and over my head, the cool air hits my skin and it only makes every sensation that little bit more heightened. "Mm, you look hot right now." She dips her head and takes my nipple between her lips. Sucking and rolling her tongue over it, my back arches and my eyes close, a smile curling on my mouth.

"You're something else…" I moan as she palms the other hardened bud. "Most definitely something else…"

"Why are you wearing no underwear?" She asks as her hand slips past the waistband of my sweats.

"I was too busy thinking about you that I totally forgot to put some on…" I smirk and she glances up at me. "True story."

"Sure it is." Kissing her way down between my breasts, my girlfriend climbs off of me and her tongue trails down my stomach. Lowering the waistband of my sweats, she drops open-mouthed kisses along my lower stomach before dipping her hand lower and pressing her fingertips against my throbbing clit.

"Oh, fuck." Gasping at the unexpected sensations she is creating, she pulls back and tugs my sweats down my thighs. "Shit…" Her eyes dark and her hands roaming back up my thighs, Arizona suddenly spreads my legs wider and the grin on her face tells me all I need to know. _I'm soaked and she's about to dive right in._

"Feet on the table." She throws her thumb over her shoulder before gathering my arousal on the tips of her fingers. Doing as she asks, she takes her fingers between her lips, and a moan falls from my mouth as she sucks on them. "Something tells me this was your plan all along…" Giving me that sexy squint, she spreads my folds with her thumbs and blows against my clit. My eyes slamming shut, my own fingers find my nipple and I tug and pull, moaning in pure delight at the thought of Arizona sending me over the edge. "Okay, that's fucking hot." My eyes open and I find her watching me.

"Arizona…" I whimper as she applies a little pressure to my clit. "Shit…"

"I've been thinking about you since you left." Her voice low, my body shudders as she holds my thighs open, her tongue taking a long firm lick up the length of my dripping sex. "And this is just how I imagined it." Smiling against my center, a moan falls from her lips and the vibration only encourages fresh arousal to coat her tongue. "Fuck." One hand removed from my thigh, she toys with my entrance and my hips lift from the couch.

"Arizona, fuck!" Gripping the back of her head, my fingers tangle in her hair and she sucks my clit into her mouth. "Oh god, yes…" My chest heaving, she suddenly slips two fingers inside of me and I instantly grind down against them. "So good." I pant. "So fucking good." Rocking against her mouth, her left hand grips my thigh tighter and she is close to breaking skin. "M-More."

"Yeah?" She pulls back, her eyebrow raised. "You need more of me, huh?"

"A-Always." I breathe out, my totally naked body shuddering at her every touch, her every word. "Please…" Slipping a third finger inside of me, my mouth falls open and my head buries deeper into the back of the couch. "Oh god." My voice barely audible, I can feel my orgasm approaching faster than it ever has in my entire life. "I-I, o-oh…"

"Come for me, Eliza." Those words tipping me completely over the edge, my nails graze her scalp and my body writhes against her. "Mm, just like that." She removes her mouth and replaces it with her thumb. Rolling it over my aching clit, I shudder and shake, unsure if I'll ever truly breathe again.

"A-Arizona." My words more of a moan, she keeps up her pace and curls her fingers inside of me. "Oh, fuck." My body lifting from the couch, her every touch has me on the edge. Another orgasm building just as quick as the first, I open my eyes to find her smiling, her own eyes focused firmly on her fingers that are working in and out of me. "Fuck, that feels incredible." My body dropping back down against the soft leather beneath me, she simply nods in agreement before pulling out of me and lapping up every drop of my arousal.

"Perfect." She presses a kiss to my inner thigh. "So perfect…beautiful." Climbing back on top of me, her lips crush against my own and my head is in a spin tasting myself on her lips. Her tongue. _Fuck, this woman is so unbelievably hot._ "Mm, I needed that." She sighs against my mouth. "I needed that so much."

"Y-You did?" I try to calm my breathing. "What about me?"

"Well?" She raises her eyebrow. "Did you need it?"

"More than you could even begin to imagine." My fingers working the shirt covering her body, it slips from her shoulders and her stomach tightens when I roll my thumb over her lace covered nipple. "Now…I want to see that beautiful body of yours."

"Yeah?" She feigns surprise, her head tilting to the side a little.

"Oh yeah." My hands ghost up her naked back, removing her bra as they do. "I love you." I smile as she grinds in my lap.

"Fuck…" Her eyes close as she throws her head back. "I love you, too."

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.**


	14. Chapter 14

**I Can't Make You Love Me**

* * *

Chapter Fourteen

* * *

ARIZONA'S POV

* * *

 _Oh god._ Eliza's is everywhere right now. Everywhere and nowhere at the same time. It's been so long since I've felt this connection with anyone else and honestly, I hope it never ends. Surely it can't. It's far too strong to ever lessen. It's far too intense to ever feel anything other than incredible. Yes, I'm no stranger to sexual experiences, but it always comes back to Eliza. Regardless of who I've slept with in the past, Eliza will always be the one who is burned into my memory. She just knows what I want. What I need. She knows that her dirty talk tips me over the edge time and time again, and yeah…my body is still craving her right now. Just like it has all day. Just like it always will. I mean, she has me on the floor in front of the fireplace right now and she is showing no signs of letting up. None whatsoever. Our relationship isn't build solely on sex, but it's one hell of an added extra. How she moans when she touches my skin. How she salivates at the thought of having me to herself. Yeah, this woman is something else and she is mine. _Crazy._

"O-Oh." My back arching as she sucks my clit into her mouth, my hand's fist in the soft blanket beneath us, her ass sticking up in the air. _That is one hell of an ass._ Smiling as my girlfriend pulls me closer to the edge, my thighs tremble and she forces them open as I try to squeeze them shut.

"Take it, Arizona." Her words demanding, I take my bottom lip between my teeth and she pushes two fingers deep inside of me suddenly.

"Fuck." Gasping as she moans and smiles against my center, I need this to last just a few more minutes. That is never going to happen, but I need this. This sensation she is creating. That burning sensation coursing through my entire being that has been building in the pit of my stomach. "Y-Yes." Forcing her mouth against me harder, my hips lift from the floor and I know I'm about to fall over the edge any moment now. "Oh, god." I pant. "Fuck, don't sto-"

"What's that?" Eliza stops, the sound of a buzzer breaking us apart.

"Fuck!" Realising the time, the palm of my hand presses against my forehead and internally, I'm screaming. "It's Callie…" I sigh. "Bringing Sofia home."

"What? It's not that late…surely." Glancing up at the clock, it is, in fact, 7 pm and yeah, Callie sticks to her times. Fucking great. "Damn, we've been going all day."

"I know…" I smirk as I sit up, my girlfriend helping me to my feet. "Could've continued, too."

"Oh, I don't doubt that." The sound of the buzzer pulling us away again, I wrap myself up in the blanket and head for the intercom.

"Hello?" I clear my throat.

"Hey, Arizona." Callie's voice filters through. "The uh, the main door is locked."

"Yeah, I know." I sigh. "Could um, could you take the stairs?"

"R-Right, yeah." She knows exactly why I've asked her to take the stairs and right now, I've got literally minutes to put on some clothes. Rushing off across the living room as much as my leg will allow, Eliza fumbles around by the fireplace, picking up whatever we have thrown across my apartment.

"You good out here?" I pop my head out of the bedroom door. "I really need to change."

"Yeah, go…" She waves me off. "We will swap before they arrive." Clothes bundled up in her arms, I can hear her giggling and if I wasn't so close to the edge, I'd find it funny too. "You okay in there?" She calls out.

"What do you think?" I yell, squeezing my thighs together. _I need to take a shower._

"Well, that was pretty intense so I'm assuming you're not okay." She appears in the doorway, a full smile on her mouth. Pulling on some sweats and a hoodie, I throw my thumb over my shoulder and shake my head, a laugh falling from my mouth.

"Clothes, now!" Her naked body brushing past me, my breathing is still a little ragged. "Fucking hell," I whine. "I was so close."

"I know." She smirks. "I know exactly how close you were." A loud knock on the door pulling us apart again, I press a quick kiss to her lips and head out into the open space that only moments ago was filled with the sound of sex.

"Hey…" Pulling the door open, I put on my best smile and my daughter rushes inside.

"Hi, mommy." She disappears past me. "Is Eliza here?"

"Y-Yeah, uh…she will be right out." Raising my voice so Eliza knows that Sofia is seeking her out, she suddenly appears looking a little flushed, her hair still wild from sex. "Hair, Eliza…" I close my eyes, a smile struggling to remain off my face. "Come on in, Cal."

"I'm so sorry." My ex-wife gives me an awkward glance.

"Don't be." I blush. "Sofia was supposed to be here for seven and you stuck to that."

"If you'd said, I could've kept her a little longer." She gives me an apologetic smile. _Yeah, I'm not about to text my ex-wife and ask her to keep Sofia longer so we can have sex._ "She's had dinner." _Good, because we haven't._ "And she's fried."

"Okay." I nod, the door closing behind Callie. "Can I get you some coffee?"

"Oh, um…if that would be okay?" She clears her throat. "I actually wanted to speak to Minnick if she isn't busy?"

"Nope, not busy." I laugh. "You guys can talk while I take a quick shower, yeah?"

"Mm, probably a good idea." She rounds the back of the couch. "Mind if I sit?"

"N-Not there!" I stutter as I'm reminded of Eliza taking me from behind on it not so long ago. "Um, take the chair." A blush creeping up my ex-wife's neck, I'm beginning to wish the ground would just open up and swallow me whole.

"Go take your shower, Arizona." Callie laughs as she drops down into the chair. "I'll just hang here until Eliza is ready." Nodding slowly, I call Sofia back into the living room and she comes rushing towards me.

"Sof, mommy is taking a shower…you will be good, yeah?"

"Yep." She nods and I turn to leave. "Mommy?"

"Yeah?" I turn back.

"Why are you taking a shower?" She gives me a quizzical look.

"Oh, uh…" Looking to Callie for help, she simply shrugs and tries to hold back her laughter. "E-Exercise." I croak out. "Mommy is sweaty from exercise."

"Okay." My daughter shrugs. "Did Eliza do exercise too? Her hair looks funny…" My ex-wife bursting out into a fit of laughter, I throw up my hands and look up at the ceiling.

"Yeah, she did." Disappearing as fast as I possibly can, I find my girlfriend in the bathroom trying to freshen herself up as best as she can. "I need you to get out of this bathroom right now…so I can fucking die in it!"

"Hey, what's up?" She furrows her brow, the door closing slightly. "Huh?"

"Nothing." I smile. "Embarrassment is a very real thing when your daughter is asking you about your activities and your ex-wife finds it hilarious."

"Oh god." She blushes. "I can't go out there, Arizona."

"You have to." I breathe out. "Callie wants to talk to you and I need to shower."

"T-Talk to me?" She stutters. "About what?"

"I don't know." I shrug. "Please?"

"Right, yeah." Eliza clears her throat. "I've got this." She breathes out. "Nothing wrong with the fact that I'm about to sit talking to the woman who's ex-wife I've just banged all over the apartment."

"Real classy." I snort. "Just…go." I wave her off, a smile on my mouth. "I won't be long."

"I love you." She presses her lips to my own. "So much."

"And I love you so much more…"

* * *

Pulling on some fresh clothes, Eliza has been left alone with my daughter and ex-wife for near on forty minutes. She must be doing okay. If she wasn't, she'd have come looking for me by now. It sounds quiet out in my living room, and I'm hoping that isn't a bad sign. I don't know why it would be since my sex life is none of Callie's concern, but I still don't like the idea of her showing up here when we're getting down and dirty. Sure, it was my own fault but I won't make that mistake again. Next time, I will be watching the clock. That was way too embarrassing for it to become a common theme around here, it really was.

Pulling my hair up into a messy bun on the top of my head, I quietly slip out of the bedroom and listen for any signs of conversation. _Nothing._ Okay, that's weird. Shit, what if Eliza has left? No, she wouldn't do that. At least, not without saying goodbye. Making my way into the living room, I furrow my brow when I find no Callie here and Eliza sitting upright on the couch. Moving closer, my heart skips a beat when I find Sofia curled up against her, the both of them sleeping. _Wow, that's something beautiful._ Giving myself a moment to just watch them, Eliza has covered the couch with a huge throw and her feet are pulled up on the coffee table, my daughters head resting in her lap and my girlfriend's arm around her tiny waist.

Rounding the couch, I take a seat on the edge of the coffee table and a smile settles on my mouth. I could quite easily cry right now at the vision in front of me, but I won't. I won't because tears are not necessary. My body already knows how perfect this feels, and that is good enough for me. "Hey…" My hand settles on Eliza's thigh and her beautiful green eyes flutter open.

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry." I can see her warring with herself but she doesn't need to. "I don't want to wake her but this isn't appropriate, I know that."

"What?" I furrow my brow, my voice low.

"Me, falling asleep with your kid." She replies. "Sorry, it wasn't my place to do that."

Standing, I lift Sofia into my arms and I'm thankful that Eliza has changed my daughter into her pajamas. "I'm just putting her to bed, okay?"

"Yeah." Eliza stands and shifts uncomfortably.

"Maybe you could order in for us while I do…" I suggest.

"Y-Yeah." She clears her throat. "Whatever you want." She tugs at her fingers and gives me a small uncertain smile. Inching closer to her, I press my lips to her own and smile against her mouth.

"I'll be right back." Disappearing into my daughter's bedroom, I place her down gently and pull her cover up over her body. Her hand fisting in them and curling under her chin, she sighs and her eyes remain closed. "Goodnight, big girl."

"Eliza is snuggly." She mumbles.

"She is…" I whisper as I press a kiss to my daughters head. "And she would love to snuggle with you again soon, but it's time to sleep now."

"Love you, mommy."

"I love you, too." Shutting off her light, I close the door over as I step out and my heart has never felt as settled as it does right now. I know things won't always be this way, but it feels so good right now. Everything I've experienced since I came to New York is more than I ever could've imagined.

Heading back to the couch, Eliza ends her call with our regular takeout place and sets her cell down on the coffee table. "Hey, shouldn't be too long."

"Come here." I motion for her to stand.

"Arizona, I really am sorry." She sighs as she stands. "It won't happen again."

"Tell that to Sofia." I wrap my arms around her waist and my lips trail her jawline. "She said you're snuggly."

"She did?" Eliza furrows her brow. "She said that about me?"

"Mmhmm…" My hand slips up Eliza's back and I pull her in painfully close. "And you've no idea how good it was to see you guys like that just then."

"I thought you would be mad." She drops her gaze. "I mean, I'm not anything to Sofia and I don't want you to think I'm trying to take over her routine or her evenings."

"I don't think that." I smile against her mouth. "My daughter has taken to you incredibly well and that is all I wanted. I want you to feel like you belong here…"

"The more time I spend here, the less I ever want to leave." Her honesty causing something to switch inside of me, I tilt my head a little and study her face. "What?"

"Stay as long as you like…"

"I will, but when you guys want some space…just say the word and I'll be out of your way."

"Neither of us want you out of the way," I say with complete certainty. "Stay the night?"

"If that's what you want…" _I want so much more but it's too soon. I know that._

"What about what _you_ want?" I ask, my eyebrow raised. "You don't have to be here every evening if you want to head back to your place…"

"I do want to be here." She breathes out. "Just…do you think Callie is okay with all of this?"

"Why wouldn't she be?"

"Sofia is her daughter, too." She shrugs. "Shouldn't you discuss it with her first? You know, the amount of time I spend with her?"

"No, I don't think I should discuss _anything_ with her." I shake my head. "Callie is fine. We are fine. Just stop worrying."

"Sorry, just that Callie has been awesome since I arrived here and I don't want to piss her off."

"You won't." I smile. "You care about her daughter. You involve her daughter in our relationship. That is all she cares about, Eliza. Trust me."

"Okay." She nods, her own smile settling on her mouth. "She wants me to join her in a new study…"

"That's awesome." I give her my best smile. "She certainly knows her stuff…"

"She does." My girlfriend agrees. "You don't mind?"

"Why would I mind?" I laugh, my brow slightly furrowed.

"I don't know." She pulls me down onto the couch. "She's your ex-wife and I know you guys are okay and stuff, but it's still a little weird, no?"

"Haven't really thought about it." My hand settles on Eliza's thigh. "It's work and that's that."

"Okay, so long as you're okay with it, so am I." Her arm wraps around my shoulder. "Today has been amazing."

"Understatement, but yeah…let's go with that." I rest my head on Eliza's shoulder. "You know, I could really get used to this?"

"Which?"

"You being here with me all the time." I sigh. "I know that's not possible with work, but it still feels good."

"You know I'll be here whenever you want me here…"

"I know." I give her a smile. "And you know we both want you here."

"I do."

"So, uh…while we're on the subject of work and working with other people, I kinda have something I need to tell you." _This isn't going to go well, I know it's not._

"Everything okay?"

"Well, I think so." I sit forward and face Eliza a little better. "I mean, I hope so."

"What's wrong?" She gives me a look of confusion.

"Carina is working at the clinic."

"What clinic?" Deep down, Eliza knows what I'm talking about but I think she needs me to confirm it. She needs to hear me say those words.

"The clinic with me and Herman." I sigh. "I don't like it but it's already done. That's why she isn't leaving."

"Oh." She focuses on the blank screened TV. "Okay."

"Okay?" I try to gauge her reaction but she's giving me nothing.

"Yeah, okay." She shrugs. "You mind if I take a shower before dinner?"

"No, not at all." I furrow my brow. "We're okay, right?"

"Y-Yeah." She stands and glances down at me, some kind of void in her eyes. "Sure."

"Hey…" I grip her wrist and she turns back to face me. "I love you…"

"Yeah." She smiles as her shoulders slump and she creates space between us. "Me too."

 _Me too? What does that even mean?_

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.**


	15. Chapter 15

**I Can't Make You Love Me**

* * *

Chapter Fifteen

* * *

ELIZA'S POV

* * *

Propping myself up on a kitchen stool, my eyes are burning and the tiredness is evident in my body. I didn't sleep so well last night, and even though Arizona slept in my arms, I had that nagging feeling at the back of my mind. In the pit of my stomach. I had that feeling all night and I'm now barely functioning. I don't even know how to begin processing what Arizona said to me last night and honestly, I'm not sure I want to even think about it any longer. I can't begin to think about the possibility of talking to my girlfriend about it. I mean, I shouldn't be worrying and she doesn't need to hear it. Quite frankly, I don't need to hear it either. I'm sick of hearing that woman's name. I'm sick of wondering if I'm good enough. I just…everything feels good but Arizona may be right. When she told me that she doesn't feel like we will always be happy, yeah…I'm beginning to understand what she means. I understand, and I hate it.

Sighing, I sip the last of my coffee and pull myself down from my seat. I've decided to head to the hospital this morning to catch up on some paperwork. If I'm being totally honest, I'm avoiding Arizona, but I do have stuff to do anyway so it's not total avoidance. I just don't want to have to think about it all right now. If Carina comes on in here and steals my girlfriend away from me, there is nothing I can do about it. If she falls in love with the Italian, I have to accept that. I mean, I don't…but what else could I do? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. _That bitch told her she loves her._

Heading towards the door, I shrug on my jacket and grab my purse. I don't know how long I'll spend at the hospital, but I cannot sit around here and pretend that things are okay. I also cannot sit around here and discuss it when I don't even know how I feel about it. "Eliza?"

"Yeah?" I turn to find Sofia standing behind me.

"Pink or purple?" She holds up two pairs of shoes. "Mommy told me to come ask you."

"Oh, definitely purple." I throw her a wink. "You all ready to leave?" I ask.

"Mmhmm." She drops to the floor and pulls on her shoes. "Mommy taking me today?"

"Yeah." I give her a soft smile. "I have to go to work."

"Okay." She shrugs.

"I'll see you soon, though…" I lean down and pull her into a hug. "Okay?"

"Tonight?" She grins, a hopeful look in her eyes. "At dinner?"

"Oh, I don't know." I drop to my knees. "I got a lot of work to do."

"Okay…" She draws out, her little shoulders slumping. "Bye, Eliza." She disappears back into her room and I glance up to find Arizona watching me, leaning against the frame of her daughter's bedroom door.

"Hey, so I'm leaving now." I throw my thumb over my shoulder. Arizona knows something isn't right simply because we spent most of our evening last night in silence, but I'm not sure she knows what to say either.

"Leaving to go where?"

"Work." I climb back to my feet and brush myself down.

"You aren't working today…"

"I know but I have things to do so I'll head out and let you get Sofia off to school." I give her a slight smile.

"Will I see you at any point today or this evening?" I can hear the disappointment in her voice but I don't have an answer for her. "Eliza?"

"I don't know, Arizona." I turn back, the door opening. "Can I ask you something?"

"Of course…" She pushes off the frame of the door and closes the distance between us.

"Carina? She's a fetal surgeon, too?"

"Oh, no." She shakes her head. "OB-GYN."

"Someone left Grey Sloan?" I furrow my brow. "Dr. Pierson?"

"She wasn't there to work." She clears her throat. "She was using the facilities for research."

"Oh." I shrug. "Research in what?"

"The uh, the female o-orgasm." My girlfriend shifts uncomfortably.

"Of course, she was studying that." I roll my eyes. "Couldn't be something normal, no?" Shaking my head, a laugh falls from my mouth and I step out into the corridor. "Enjoy your day, Arizona."

"Wait!" She rushes to the door. "Eliza, what's going on?"

"Nothing is going on." I give her a sad smile. "I'm going to work."

"You're going to work because you're avoiding me." She gives me an incredulous look. "I'd say something is going on in your head…"

"I'll call you, okay?" Disappearing down the hall, I feel kinda bad that I've left Arizona standing alone and confused but I just need some time to myself. I need to go over all of this in my head because yeah…I'm not happy about Carina working with my girlfriend. Not at all.

* * *

Chewing on the end of my pen, the cafeteria is beginning to fill up for lunch but food is the last thing on my mind. Yes, I could use some coffee, but that's all really. I have too much on my mind to even think about eating and honestly, I'm staring at this paperwork for nothing. None of it is making any sense, and I don't even know what case it is that I'm looking at right now. Sighing, I drop my pen down on top of the file and sit back in my seat. _I don't want to be here at all._ That may be true, but I also don't want to have 'the talk' with Arizona.

"This seat taken?" I glance up to find Callie standing in front of me.

"N-No." I move some papers to make room for Callie.

"You look like you could use this…" She slides a coffee my way and I give her a thankful smile. "What's up?"

"Nothing, I'm good."

"Lies." She snorts. "You don't look anything like the woman I found flustered in Arizona's apartment last night."

"No, I don't suppose I do." I give her an awkward smile. "Just got some stuff on my mind…"

"Wanna talk about it?" Callie asks. "I mean, you're probably wary of me because of who I am, but I'm a good listener, and honestly? Knowing someone else has problems takes my mind off my own."

"Just something Arizona said last night, is all." I try to be nonchalant but I'm not even convincing myself right now.

"What did she say?"

"Do you know about her ex?" I ask.

" _The Italian._ " We both say in unison.

"Yeah, the Italian." I clear my throat. "Did she ever talk about her? I mean, I'm probably asking the wrong person, but you know?"

"She did talk about her." Callie nods. "She told me all about her bitching about my daughter." _Okay, I can hear the venom in Callie's voice so I know I have someone on my side._

"You don't like her, do you?"

"Do I look or sound like I like her?" She snorts. "Anyone who doesn't accept my daughter can fuck off as far as I'm concerned."

"But she's here…" I sigh. "She's here and willing to make it work."

"I know she's here." Callie takes her coffee in her hand. "But who said she wants to make it work?"

"Carina. When she showed up at Arizona's door."

"Oh, she didn't." Callie holds up her hand. "She suddenly wants Sofia in her life? Over my dead body…"

"I mean, I'm sure she's lovely." I shrug. "I'm sure she made Arizona happy…"

"She did, yeah," Callie admits. "But that happiness ended the moment Carina expressed her desire to not have kids in her life, Minnick."

"But is it really that simple?" I furrow my brow. "Is it as simple as me forgetting about my worries and carrying on like she isn't here?"

"I was you." She sighs as she sips her coffee. "I was you back at Grey Sloan."

"I don't follow…"

"We were married with Sofia before I discovered that Arizona had banged half of the hospital." She laughs. "I was jealous. I was worried about her reasons for never telling me about any of them. Yeah, I was _so_ jealous."

"And what were her reasons?" I ask.

"It didn't matter." She shrugs. "It didn't matter because I was who she loved. I was who she married."

"So you just forgot about it all and the jealousy and worry went away?"

"Yup." She nods. "One thing you should know about Arizona is that she loves hard, Eliza. If she tells you she's all in, she is. If she tells you she loves you…she most certainly does."

"Thanks, Callie." I give her a smile. "You don't have to sit here and discuss Arizona with me and honestly, I never expected you to…"

"We haven't been together for a long time, Eliza." She stands. "You have nothing to worry about with me around. We're Sofia's mom's and that is where it ends."

"Seriously, thank you."

"Now you've finished whining…you wanna go break some bones?"

"You know what?" I stand and shuffle my paperwork together. "I would love to go break some bones."

"Move your ass then." She rolls her eyes. "I ain't got all freaking day."

"Thanks for the coffee." I knock it back and dispose of the cup.

"Hey, Minnick…" She turns back to face me. "You wanna grab a drink after surgery?"

"Yeah, that would be nice." I agree. I plan to drop by Arizona's place at some point this evening, but a drink with a friend never hurt anyone. Some may consider it weird that I'm friends with my girlfriend's ex-wife, but I don't. Callie is great and anyone who can convince me Arizona isn't going anywhere is okay in my book. This woman has the experience and has settled me more than anyone else probably could.

 _Ex-wife or not…_

* * *

Stepping into a bar close to the hospital, I find Callie already at a table, a selection of drinks out in front of her. I know she's kinda like my boss and I know that she is Arizona's ex-wife, but I like her. We get on good. Sure, it won't always be that way, but I'll deal with that as it comes. Honestly, I'd once wondered what her intentions were, but I'm not concerned anymore. I'm not sure I should've ever been concerned. She's great. My kinda person. On the same wavelength as me. Yes, it does feel kinda weird sharing drinks with her, but that's just because I'm making it something more than it should be. I know she isn't here to gain information on her ex-wife from me, and I know that she is just lending an ear. I couldn't ask for more than that, I really couldn't.

"Hey, Torres." I drop down in the seat opposite her. "You got a few things in, huh?"

"Name your poison…"

"Right now?" I raise an eyebrow. "I'll take anything. Whatever I can get."

"Tequila." She pushes a shot my way. "Let's do this." Knocking it back, I enjoy the burn as it slips down my throat.

"Hey, you're sure you don't mind being here with me?" I give her a knowing look. "I don't expect you to be my friend."

"We work together." She rolls her eyes. "You're looking after my kid…we have to make this work."

"I get that, but I don't expect you to be my shoulder if it's not what you want." I shrug. "You said you had your own problems…"

"Not important." She holds up her hand as she sips on a rum and coke. "We're here for you, Minnick."

"But the least I can do is return the favor, no?"

"Nope." She knocks back another shot. "I'm good, trust me."

"Okay." I give her a slight nod in agreement, the alcohol going straight to my head. "Your daughter is awesome, by the way."

"Because she has awesome mom's." Callie throws me a wink and a laugh falls from my mouth. "Well, I think most of it is Arizona, but I'll take a little praise."

"I'm sure she's equally like the both of you."

"Maybe." She shrugs. "But the perkiness? That's Arizona."

"Yeah, I kinda figured that." I laugh. "You think she will hate me?"

"Who?" Callie furrows her brow.

"Arizona." I sigh. "I'm avoiding her. I haven't been back since this morning…"

"She will be pissed." She nods. "But I'm sure you can handle it."

"I'm not sure I want to." I sigh, sipping on a vodka. _Wow, it's been a long time since I drank this shit._ "I hate the confrontation."

"Yeah, I get that." Callie agrees. "I don't miss it, actually."

"Why would you?" I roll my eyes. "I mean, women are a pain in the ass, don't you think?"

"They are when they cheat on you in the middle of a storm and expect everything to be okay after it." She scoffs. "Or when you move your life for them only to be told they _don't feel the connection_ anymore."

"Huh?" I almost spit my drink out. "Who did what in a storm now?"

"Oh, you didn't know…"

"Didn't know what?" I ask, confusion all over my face.

"Never mind…" She waves off my question.

"No, come on." I sit forward in my seat and rest my elbows on the table in front of me. "Who were you talking about? Penny?" _She has to be. Arizona wouldn't ever do something like that._ Especially not to her wife. Her daughter. "Callie?"

"Just…after the plane crash, things were a little hard for us." She clears her throat. "I guess everything came to a head and Arizona found someone else…"

"F-Found someone else?" I stutter.

"Another surgeon." She sighs. "She was in town for a major surgery. One thing led to another…and they slept together."

"Oh…" Swallowing hard, I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do with this information. "I, uh…"

"I didn't drop that in there to throw you, Minnick. I just…I thought you knew."

"I didn't." I sigh. "But I'm glad I do now."

"Wait!" Callie holds up her hands. "Don't take what I said as meaning anything." She furrows her brow. "Arizona is a good person. Amazing even. Just…forget I said it."

"Right, yeah." I scoff. "If she's such a good person, why aren't you guys still together?"

"Totally unrelated." Callie states. "And I'm not about to discuss it all with you." She shakes her head before downing another shot. "Arizona deserves to be happy and she has found that with you…"

"Mm, until Carina shows up looking amazing." I scoff. "It's inevitable."

"No, it's not." She disagrees. "I know Arizona loves you." She smiles. "Anyone with eyes can see that."

"Maybe." I sigh as I relax back in my seat. "Maybe…" Deciding to check my cell, I pull it from my purse and unlock the screen.

 ** _You really are avoiding me, huh? That's okay. I haven't actually done anything wrong and you aren't all in like I am. I know that now. I can't do this with you if my work is going to be a problem. I hope wherever you are…you're having fun. Sofia was asking after you. Take care, Eliza._**

 _Wow, that was an easy way out for her._ Scoffing to myself, I lock my cell and shove it back into my purse. I know Callie is watching me right now, but I guess her admission tonight has only confirmed things for me. _Arizona cannot be trusted._ I'd like to believe I figured that out for myself, but I didn't. I didn't and now I'm totally taking someone else's word for it. _Typical, never figuring things out for yourself, Minnick._

"Hey, uh…I'm going to head off." I run my fingers through my hair. "Got a lot to get through."

"Sure, yeah." Callie narrows her eyes. "Nothing to do with Arizona?"

"Nope." I shake my head. "I just need to sleep." I stand. "We should do this again sometime…"

"You've got it." Callie nods. "Keeps me sane, that's for sure."

"Thanks, Callie." I squeeze her shoulder. "This means a lot."

"Anytime, Minnick." She gives me a full smile. "Anytime."

Pulling my purse up onto my shoulder, that sinking feeling I've had all day has just heightened…tenfold. I knew about the hard times during their divorce, but I didn't know Arizona had _ever_ cheated. I didn't think she had it in her to do such a thing. Honestly, that has totally thrown me and I find it hard to believe it even happened. I find it hard to believe Arizona would climb into bed with another woman she had a wife and child at home. A home filled with love and support. _Yeah, I don't feel good about this at all._ Reaching the sidewalk, my feet pound the concrete beneath me and I quicken my pace. It's a little after eight and I need to get home and lock myself away. I need to just sleep on this and wake up tomorrow hopefully with a better outlook. I'm not sure that's going to be the case, but regardless….I need to sleep. I need to close my eyes and not think about all of the possibilities I have running through my head right now.

 _She will go back to Carina, I know she will_ …

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.**

 **Hoping to get another out by the end of the day...**


	16. Chapter 16

**I Can't Make You Love Me**

* * *

Chapter Sixteen

* * *

ARIZONA'S POV

* * *

My head is a mess, it really is. Eliza has been MIA for the past three days and I honestly don't know what she expects from me. I haven't actually done anything to receive this treatment from her but she won't answer my calls or open her freaking door so I'm at a loss right now. I'm at a loss and I'm very close to being over it all. I'm close to being done with her. If she cannot talk to me and she cannot be an adult about this, we wont work. It's as simple as that. I mean, Carina will be working with me…but so what? I _am_ capable of keeping my hands to myself. I _am_ capable of loving just one woman. Eliza clearly doesn't believe that, though. She doesn't seem to think that we can work this out and now her avoidance has gone on for too long. If I don't talk this out with her by the time the weekend comes around, she can do as she pleases. She can be with whoever she wants to be with…that won't include me, though. I'm not here for that. I want someone who wants me for me. I want someone who isn't worried about other women. I'm not into playing games and the sooner Eliza realises that, the sooner we can either move on, or break up.

Honestly, I get the impression that we aren't even together anymore. How can we be? She won't even acknowledge I exist lately so how can she love me like she claims to? You don't avoid the person you love. You work it out. You discuss things. Your fears…insecurities. You do those things so that everything else can fall into place and run smoothly. Of course, I don't expect the perfect relationship, but that was how it was beginning to feel with Eliza in my life. Things just felt right. Positive. Hell, I know how much I could use some positivity right now and that was exactly what she was giving me. That was exactly what I felt every time she walked through my door. Now, though? Now I'm not sure how I feel about any of this. It's a little dramatic of her to just freak out about Carina staying. We don't even talk anymore so I really don't know what the problem is. I get that she is my ex, but I was planning on it remaining that way. If Eliza would just open the freaking door, I could tell her that. I could tell her that she has nothing to worry about. _She should know that already without me even saying it._

A knock on my door giving my mind a little respite, I pull it open and find my ex-wife out in the corridor. Silently inviting her in, I step to the side and give her a little more space to enter. "Everything okay, Cal?"

"Yeah uh, I just wanted to run something by you…" She turns to face me, her hands shoved in the back pockets of her jeans. "Daddy called…he's invited me out to spend a few days with him on his yacht."

"Nice." I smile. "Well, enjoy…" I'm not entirely sure why she is seeking my approval. We haven't discussed personal plans for a long time.

"He was wondering if Sofia would be joining us?"

"When?" I ask.

"Tomorrow once school ends. It will just be a weekend thing."

"You take Sofia weekends anyway." I furrow my brow. "So, it won't be a problem."

"Still, I wanted to check in, you know?" She gives me a sad smile and I close the door. "Everything okay?"

"Fine, yeah." I shrug. My ex-wife doesn't need to know that I'm once again failing where love is concerned. She really doesn't. "You wanna take Sofia tonight?" I raise an eyebrow.

"Sure, whatever is best for you."

"Honestly, I need a drink." I drop down on the couch, Callie joining me. "I need _a lot_ of drink."

"Been that kinda week, huh?" She laughs. "I won't lie, I had a small hangover Monday after Eliza left."

"Left where?" I furrow my brow.

"Uh, the bar." She gives me a look of confusion. "She left but I stayed…foolishly."

"Why was she at a bar with you?" I ask, incredulously.

"Because I asked her if she wanted to grab a drink after work," Callie says. "I didn't think it would be a problem and I also thought she had told you."

"Kinda hard to tell me when she is avoiding me." I scoff. "I haven't seen her since Monday morning when she left here."

"Oh." Callie sighs. "She was a little freaked out but I thought I'd talked some sense into her…"

"This is great." I throw my hands up. "My fucking ex-wife is spending more time with my _supposed_ girlfriend than I am." My voice breaking, I close my eyes and internally chastise myself for getting worked up in front of Callie. "You will be fucking dating her next."

"Whoa." Callie stops me. "It wasn't like that." She shakes her head. "Not at all…"

"So, what _was_ it like?" I spit.

"She's worried…" My ex-wife sighs. "About Carina." I kinda already knew that but it doesn't explain why Eliza is behaving this way. "I can understand why, but I figured she was okay."

"Well, she's not." I stand. "And I'm sick of this shit." Heading for the door, I pull it open and head out into the corridor. Banging loudly on Eliza's door, I don't know what has come over me but I've had enough. I've had more than enough. "Open the door, ELIZA!" Banging again, I hear movement inside and whispering. "I don't care who you have in there, just open the fucking door!"

"What the hell is your problem?" Her door flies open and I find Eliza in front of me for the first time in days. "Do you have to bang my door down?"

"Yeah, I do." I spit. "It's the only way for you to even look at me so what else do you want me to do?" Glancing over her shoulder, I find Ash sprawled out on her couch and I shake my head. "So, _she's_ here?" I laugh. "If you'd told me we weren't together anymore, this wouldn't have happened." I step back. "Three days. Three days, Eliza…and _nothing_ from you."

"You think I'm banging Ash?" She raises an eyebrow. "Isn't that your department?" She raises an eyebrow.

"Excuse me?" I furrow my brow. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"Well, you were perfectly fine cheating on your wife…" She shrugs. "Why would I be any different? Why would you stick with me when you can have the best of both worlds working with Carina…"

"Wow, okay." I hold up my hands. "I think we're done here."

"You said I wasn't all in…" She studies my face. "When you texted me Monday night, you told me I wasn't all in."

"Can you blame me for thinking that?" I laugh, shaking my head. "I mean, you really think I'd cheat?"

"You have before…" She sighs.

"So, that is just your opinion of me now?" I give her a sad smile. "I thought I meant more to you than that." I breathe out. "I'm sorry that we weren't on the same page…" Heading back to my apartment, Eliza's door slams shut and I slip past my own.

"I-I'm so sorry, Arizona." Callie has unshed tears in her eyes. "So sorry…"

"Why are you getting worked up?" I scoff. "You probably have the same opinion of me that she does."

"N-No…" She drops her gaze.

"Maybe you should head to her place." I throw my thumb over my shoulder. "You both seem to enjoy each others company…"

"Arizona." Callie closes the distance between us and takes my hands in her own. "T-This is my fault. I just…we were talking and I didn't even realize what I was saying."

"Y-You told her?" I furrow my brow. "You told my current girlfriend…who is having issues with the idea of Carina and I working together…that I cheated on you?"

"Yes." She breathes out. "It wasn't intentional but I thought she knew. I thought you had told her."

"Why the hell would I have told her?" I ask, incredulously. "I know you think it's a part of who I am, but I don't go around telling potential love interests that I once cheated on my wife."

"I-I know." She gives me a sad smile. "And I'm sorry. That isn't my opinion of you at all."

"I find that hard to believe." I give her a knowing look as I tug my hands from her grip. "Can you just leave, please?"

"Y-Yeah." Her shoulders slump a little and she moves towards the door. "If you need anything, call me…" My door closing, the tears fall hard and fast. They fall and I don't even know why I'm allowing them to. I mean, Eliza has just made it perfectly clear what she thinks of me so why do I care? Why am I bothered?

 _Because I love her…that's why._

* * *

"So, everything is okay there? Harriet okay?" I rest my cell on my shoulder.

"Yeah." Aprils voice filters through my phone. "She's great. I'm great."

"Good." I smile. "Sofia is spending the weekend on a yacht with Callie."

"Wow, living the good life, huh?" April laughs.

"Yeah, at least one of us is." I sigh. "You think I can realistically grab a flight to Seattle and be back before Sunday evening?" I glance over at the luggage I packed before when I was having some kind of meltdown.

"Well, you could." April agrees. "But you won't have much time here…"

"No, I know." I close my eyes and lie back on the couch. "It beats sitting here alone, though."

"Eliza working?" My best friend asks.

"No idea."

"O…kay." April expects more. "Something tells me you didn't call to discuss the weather, Arizona."

"I just…I thought we were good." I place my hand against my forehead. "I thought being here with her was going to be amazing."

"Uh, so did I…but I'm assuming it's not?"

"No, it's not amazing at all," I admit. "Carina came back, yeah?"

"Mmhmm…"

"Then she told me she was staying and Herman had offered her a position at the clinic…" _Not for much longer._ "Eliza freaked out and Callie let it slip that I cheated when we were together."

"Oh." April sounds just as disappointed as I was. "So, now I'm back to just being the adulterer." I scoff. "She said some hurtful things so I left her place…"

"I'm sorry, Arizona."

"Me too, April." I smile. "Me too." I'm still struggling with the things Eliza said to me. I never expected such venom in her words from her. _I also didn't expect to find Ash at her place_. "I guess I'm just better off alone…"

"That's total crap and you know it."

"What else am I supposed to do?" I scoff. "It's all good until they realize my past. I mean, it's not enough that I feel messed up with the leg…add in my past and I wonder if I'll ever find someone who loves me."

"Eliza does love you," April replies. "I know she said things that hurt, but if she didn't care…she wouldn't have had an opinion on it."

"It doesn't matter." I shake my head. "She has made it clear what she thinks of me and that is okay."

"It is?" April doesn't sound convinced.

"Yeah, it is." I clear my throat. "I spoke with Herman before I called you and told her it's me or Carina but it still doesn't change anything." I shrug. "Eliza said what she said and I cannot change that. If she wants to believe that my past is who I am, I cannot change it. I've been nothing but myself since I met her and I thought she knew who I was. I thought she saw me and not my mistakes."

"Why are you being so hard on yourself?" April asks. "You forget that she left you, Arizona. She is just as much to blame for her own mistakes and you haven't done anything wrong."

"Tell that to Eliza…"

"I will." She perks up. "Gladly."

"No, don't do that." I give my friend a thankful smile through the phone.

"Why did you call Herman?" She asks. "Why did you give her that ultimatum if you don't care for Eliza's opinion?"

"I don't know." I breathe out. "Wishful thinking, maybe?"

"You want her back, don't you?" Her voice sincere, she knows me better than I know myself sometimes.

"I didn't want any of this, April," I admit. "I figured she would come around when she was over the Carina thing…but she didn't. She didn't and it only escalated."

"Maybe give her some time?"

"Nope." I disagree. "I'm not giving her time to decide if she wants something with me. Not when it is based on something that happened a long time ago at a really shit point in my life."

"I get that." She sighs. "Look, if you want to come hang with me for a while, you know you're welcome."

"Thanks, but I have to be here for my daughter."

"When school is out then, okay?"

"For sure." I agree. "I miss you guys so much." It wasn't so bad when I first came here. You know, the new city experience and everything New York had to offer. Now, though…now it's just like every other place I've ever lived. Fucking disappointing. "I should go…I have something I need to do."

"Sure. You'll call me if you need to talk?"

"I will." I smile. "Speed dial." Our call ending, I bring up my contact list and hit C. The sooner I get this over and done with, the better. I have to speak to Carina one final time and tell her that she can't be here. Sure, Eliza and I may be over, but I don't need two exes living close by. I'll go freaking insane.

 ** _Are you free? Can you come by my place? Arizona._**

 ** _Si, on my way._**

* * *

Pacing the floor in my apartment, I have a large glass of white in my hand and I'm trying hard not to knock it back right now. I'm torn between throwing it against the nearest wall and knocking on Eliza's door. Why? Because I'm so mad at her. I'm angry that she hasn't even come here with an apology. An explanation. She is just two doors away living her perfect life with fucking Ash. Is she really so over us that she believes this behavior is acceptable? Really? I find that hard to believe but I also didn't expect her to accuse me of one day cheating. Today has just been one huge mess and once Carina has left, I'm taking my miserable and lonely ass to bed. It's the best place for me and I've known that since Callie left my place earlier this afternoon. Sipping my wine, I set it down on the counter and brace myself against the cool marble. A knock startling me, I straighten my shoulders and cross the short distance. "Hi." I breathe out as I open the door.

"You wanted to see me?" Carina asks as I step aside.

"Yes, uh…did you speak with Nicole?" I ask. "Has she called you?"

"Si." She gives me a sad smile. "I'm sorry you cannot work with me, Arizona."

"Me too." I hand her a glass of wine, leaving my own on the counter. "I'm sorry it all came to this."

"Why did it?" She furrows her brow as we both take a seat.

"I don't know." I run my fingers through my hair. "Nothing is ever simple, huh?"

"Well…I thought it was." Carina shrugs. "I thought I would come here and everything would be simple for us." She relaxes back on my couch, crossing her legs. "I didn't know we were so damaged."

"M-Maybe, I don't know…if Eliza wasn't here." I sigh. "I just…I can't have you at the clinic with me."

"Where is Eliza?" She asks as she glances around my apartment.

"At home…"

"Why home? She should be here, no?" Carina knows something isn't right, but it isn't for her to discuss with me. Eliza isn't anyone else's business other than mine. "You split…"

"We did, I think…I don't know." I drop my gaze and focus on the coffee table in front of us.

"Because of me, Si?" She sits forward in her seat and finds my eyes. "I want you to be happy, Arizona. I want that to be with me, but you don't want that."

"What are you saying?"

"That I'll leave…" _Wow, this woman really does care about me._ "You know how I feel, but you don't feel the same."

"I'm sorry." I give her a sad smile and she takes my hand in her own. "Thank you for coming by…"

"Anything for you." She lifts my hand and presses a kiss to the back of it. "I should leave." She stands, setting her wine glass down on the counter. "You take care?"

"I will." I follow Carina to the door. "Maybe we could at least hug this out?"

"Okay." Her arms wrapping around me, my own tangle around her body and it feels nice to just have company right now. Yes, Carina always did feel good wrapped around me, but even right now…no matter how pissed I am at her, Eliza always felt so much better. "Goodbye, Arizona."

"Bye…" Pulling back, I give Carina a genuine smile and she pulls the door open, Eliza standing on the other side looking tired and worn. "Oh, uh…" I furrow my brow. "Can I help you?"

"Apparently not." She gives me a sad smile. "Never mind…" She backs up and turns on her heel.

"Eliza!" Carina calls out in that distinct Italian accent. "I'm out." She holds up her hands. "You _don't_ lose her." She gives Eliza a knowing look. Disappearing down the hall, I feel awful watching her leave. Carina may have created this issue between Eliza and I, but she didn't do it intentionally. She just wanted me…for me. If only Eliza could do the same. Not even bothering to see if Eliza is still out in the hall, I close my door and head for my luggage. _I need to get out of here for a few days._ It's not often that I leave at the last minute but I cant sit here alone all weekend when I have a world of crap on my mind.

 ** _I'm out of town for a few days. Arizona._**

 ** _No problem. Call me when you're back and we will sort out arrangements with Sofia. Callie x_**

 ** _Thanks. Arizona._**

Shoving my cell in the back pocket of my jeans, I head for the door and check I have everything I need. I don't know where I'm going but once I'm safe inside my car, I'll decide. I'm not running from anything, I'm simply keeping myself sane. Eliza created this, so no…I'm not running. Not at all. Heading out into the hall, my door closes and I lock up. Turning and heading towards the elevator, the sound of Eliza's door opening alerts me to her presence.

"Arizona!" She rushes down the corridor and I stop, turning to face her fully. "Where are you going?"

"Away," I state. "See you around, Eliza."

"No, wait." She grips the handle on my luggage. "I'm sorry about earlier."

"Me too." I give her a sad smile. "Bye…" Attempting to walk away again, Eliza stops me and I release a sigh. "Eliza, I'm not doing this with you."

"Doing what?"

"Whatever this is." I motion between us. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you about _all_ of my past, but I didn't think it mattered." I clear my throat. "I didn't think you were the type of person who forms opinions based on mistakes but I was wrong."

"I love you…"

"Yeah?" I smile, tilting my head a little. "See, I don't think you do…" Walking away, I round the corner and hit the button on the elevator that will take me out of this hell hole and onto the street. I just need some time to think things over. You know, do what is best for myself and my daughter. Do what is best for my own sanity.

 _I just need some time alone…_

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.**


	17. Chapter 17

**I Can't Make You Love Me**

* * *

Chapter Seventeen

* * *

ELIZA'S POV

* * *

 _Biggest mistake of my fucking life._ That's all I've got. That's the only way I can describe my behaviour this past week. It's been almost six days since I last saw Arizona and honestly, I'm not sure she will ever return. Of course, she will…she has Sofia here, but the longer she's gone, the more of an asshole I feel. The longer she's gone, the more I'm struggling to look at myself in the mirror. I mean, who says those things? Who calls the woman they love a cheat when it has nothing to do with our relationship. I don't know her reasons. I don't know why she did what she did. I also know, that it's none of my damn business. None whatsoever. I'd do well to remember that if she ever comes home to her apartment. _God, I've been so fucking stupid._

Seeing Carina leave her place last week unsettled me a little, but then what she said to me…how she told me not to lose Arizona? That totally threw me. I didn't expect that from her at all. Sure, I'm not here to play games with the Italian, but at one point, I was fully prepared to do so if it came down to it. I was prepared to win Arizona over, but then I discovered that it wasn't necessary. She told me she loved me, and that was good enough for me. It was good enough until I let my worries get the better of me and I said the most hurtful things to my girlfriend. _Get a grip, Minnick. She isn't your girlfriend anymore._ Yeah, I messed that up. I know I did.

Catching sight of Callie at the nurse's station, I rush towards her and she turns to face me, her brow furrowed. "Where's the fire, Minnick?"

"Do you know where she is?" I ask.

"Um, who?" She plays stupid but I know she knows who I'm talking about.

"Arizona."

"Oh, I'm not getting involved." She holds up her hand. "I did that once and look at the mess I created."

"Please, do you know?"

"Eliza, I'm not doing this with you." She closes a file. "I thought I could be your friend but I can't. Arizona is my priority. Her and Sofia."

"Your priority?" I scoff. "What does that even mean?"

"It means…she means more to me than any friendship with you. It means…Sofia doesn't need to see her mom upset and pissed because of what you said to her. It means…I'm out of this conversation and I don't want you to ask me again."

"I just want to see her…" My voice breaks. "Callie, please?"

"Why?" She steps closer to me. "Why do you want to see her?"

"Because I need to fix this." I sigh. "I need to tell her how much she means to me before I lose her for good."

"I think that ship sailed, Eliza." She gives me a knowing look. "She doesn't need you making something out of nothing. Hell, she's been through all of that before."

"I know and that is why I need you to tell me where she is." I give her a pleading look, tears in my eyes.

"Look, I have surgery in five…I'll text you the address later."

"Y-You will?" My eyes brighten. "You really will?"

"I will." She breathes out as she turns and walks away. "Don't fuck it up again, Minnick."

Breathing a sigh of relief at the thought of seeing Arizona, my nerves suddenly hit me and now I don't even know what I want to say to her. I mean, I do. I want to tell her how much I love her. I want to tell her how much I need her in my life. I'm just not sure she will even give me the opportunity to say any of that. I'm not sure she will even look at me.

I have to get out of here. I have to get home and figure out exactly what I want to say. What I have in my head…it all needs sorting through and making sense of. I know I created this mess, but I know I also have to be the one who fixes it. The past few weeks with Arizona and Sofia have been nothing short of amazing, and now that Carina has actually gone, there is no reason why we can't be amazing again. I know it shouldn't work like that and Carina is free to live and work wherever she wants to, but I wouldn't ever settle. It wasn't ever about not trusting Arizona if I'm being honest. It was about not trusting Carina. She just has that look about her. That look that says she could steal anyone away from whoever she likes. That is where I struggled. That is where I freaked and I fully understand the hurt I've caused Arizona. I understand and accept it, but I refuse to believe that this is the end for us. I refuse to believe it, and I won't ever believe it.

My cell buzzing in my pocket, I pull it out faster than ever before and find Callie's name on my screen.

 ** _Hilton. Edmund Street. Out of town. Quite a drive. I'll take the shit for giving the address up. Just make it work!_**

 ** _Thank you, Callie._**

* * *

Pulling into the parking lot of the hotel, I cut my engine and my heart begins to pound out of my chest. Arizona's car is here and I'm not sure if that is a good thing or not. I mean, it is. It's always going to be a good thing knowing she is close by, but right now…I'm terrified that she will close the door in my face. I'm terrified that she will tell me what I really don't want to hear. Sure, I deserve some harsh words from her, but if she ends us for good, no…I can't deal with that right now. Deciding to test the waters, I unlock my cell and send her a message.

 ** _I miss you. X_**

I haven't received anything back from my other million messages I've sent her since she left, but I really need her to come through for me now. I really need something, anything. Waiting impatiently, the clock ticks by and once again, I'm left with nothing but the silence between us. Deciding that I don't want to wait any longer, I hit the call button and pray that Arizona answers me.

"H-Hello?"

"Arizona, it's me…"

"I know who it is, Eliza." She sighs. "I'm kinda busy right now."

"O-Oh." I close my eyes, tears slipping down my face. "I was hoping we could talk."

"I'm not doing this over the phone." She disagrees. "Just…I'm not."

"I'm here." I clear my throat. "Outside the h-hotel."

"You're what?" She asks, incredulously. "Fucking Callie!"

"Hey, don't blame her." I try to defend her ex-wife. "She was just helping me out."

"Clearly." She scoffs.

"S-So, uh…can we talk, or?" _Please don't cut the call._

"You just drove four hours to see me?"

"Y-Yeah, but if you already settled down for the night I can wait until morning," I suggest. "I'll just take a nap in my car. I'm ready whenever you are."

"No, you can't do that."

"I can, it's fine," I reply. "I just don't want to leave here without seeing you, Arizona. I really need to see you."

"107." She sighs.

"I-I can come up?" My heart pounding in my ears, I'm already out of my car before she has a chance to answer my question. "I mean, I'll right there." Rushing across the parking lot, the rain bounces off of me but I don't care. If I have to walk a million miles in this rain to get to her, I will. I would. Always. Cutting my call when I realize it's still connected, I quicken my pace and weave through the cars. I know this talk isn't going to result in anything, but I still want to apologize. I still want to be there with her and trying to fix the mess I made last week.

Reaching the entrance to the hotel, I shake myself off a little and brush back the hair that is plastered to my face. Giving the guy on reception a smile, I head for the elevator and check which floor I need. Hitting the call button, the doors open and I step inside. _Come on, Minnick. You've got this._ That's a lie but its what I'm sticking with right now. It's the only thing keeping me sane. The only thing giving me the slightest hint of hope. The elevator taking me to the first floor, the doors open and I step out. Heading in the direction of room 107, I stop and give myself a moment to compose myself. I can't fall apart when she opens that door but I know that is exactly what is going to happen. The slightest hint of hurt or sadness in her eyes and I'll break down. Why? Because I'm the cause of them.

Curling my hand into a fist when I stop outside her hotel room door, I release a deep breath and knock loud enough for Arizona to hear it but not enough to disturb the people around her. Hearing the lock click, the door opens slowly and I find Arizona standing before me in an oversized hoodie, comfortable sweats covering her legs. "H-Hi." I breathe out.

"You're soaked." She furrows her brow. "Come inside…" Stepping aside, I brush past her and catch her scent, a slight smile curling on my lips immediately.

"Arizona, I just…I need you to listen before you kick me out. Before you say anything at all, I really need you to listen to me, please?" My eyes holding nothing but complete desperation, she gives me a nod and folds her arms across her chest, leaning back against the door which is now closed.

"Okay…"

"I made a huge mistake last week when I avoided you. Probably one of the biggest mistakes of my life…" Studying her face, she's giving me nothing. "I promised you that I was here for you. I promised you that I was never leaving…and I did. In some way, I did. I refused to answer your calls and I refused to give you five minutes. I've already gone back on my promises and we've only been together for a few weeks, but I need you to know how sorry I am for the things I said to you." I close the distance a little. "I'm so sorry for treating you like crap and saying those things."

"You know nothing about my past." She croaks out, her own emotions clearly making an appearance. "You have no idea what kind of person I used to be. Before the crash. Before the PTSD. Before my life was turned upside down…" _Oh god…her cheating was a result of the crash._ "You have no idea and if you had just asked, I'd have told you. I'd have been honest with you…" She shrugs. "I have nothing to hide but you don't ever seem to believe that."

"I do." I sigh. "I don't even believe those things I said to you. I don't even know where it came from."

"Well, it came from somewhere, Eliza." She gives me a look laced with disappointment. "It came from somewhere and you know it."

"I was just so sure you would go back to Carina," I admit. "I know it's no excuse, but I got you back." I smile fully. "I got you back and everything felt so good. I felt complete."

"And that wouldn't have changed…" She runs her fingers through her hair and pushes off the door. "I told you it was you I wanted. I told you I loved you."

"And I know you don't anymore, but I had to see you, Arizona." My voice breaks again. "I had to tell you I'm sorry and whatever happens, happens."

"What does that mean?"

"It means that I totally get it if you hate me." I scoff. "I hate me."

"See, that's the thing, Eliza…I don't hate you." She furrows her brow. "I'm mad at you. _So mad_ , but I don't hate you."

"Y-You don't?" I approach her, desperate to touch her.

"No, I don't." She studies my face. "But none of this is okay. Those things you said…they hurt, Eliza." Her eyes are filled with tears. "I needed some space. I needed to just leave and think things over."

"I'm so sorry, Arizona." I take her hands in my own. "I love everything about you." I press a kiss to her knuckles. "The mom side of you. The hot side of you. The sweet and adorable side of you. I just…I could spend my life watching your interactions with Sofia and I'd never get bored of it. You make me so happy and I know that I messed up and said the most hurtful things to you, but you have to believe that I'm sorry. You have to know that I don't think any of that stuff I said…"

"You do." She gives me a sad smile. "But I get it."

"You get what?" I ask, confused.

"Why you freaked out." She sighs. "You already had the worry of Carina on your mind and then Callie goes and opens her freaking mouth about our past. It wasn't about hiding it from you…it just doesn't matter anymore." She glances up at me. "I'm not a cheat, Eliza."

"I know you're not." My hand settles on the side of her face and her eyes close. "I had no right to have an opinion. I had no right to even bring it up."

"It was a bad time for me." A tear slips down her face. "A really bad time." She brushes the dampness from her cheek. "It is something I've regretted since the moment it happened because that's not me. It wasn't me. I'd never do something like that to anyone ever again."

"Stop explaining yourself…" I hold up my hand. "Another time, we can discuss it…but for now, take the time you need. Relax and please…please promise me that when you come home, we can talk?"

"I think we can do that." She gives me a small smile. "I was planning to leave tomorrow…"

"So, I will hopefully see you tomorrow then?" I ask, hope in my voice. "If you have the time…I know you will want to see Sofia."

"Yeah, I do." Her eyes close and her smile widens. "I want her back at home with me."

"I know you do." I smile. "I'll leave, okay?" I step back and give her some space. "This was unexpected and I don't expect us to be okay overnight."

"I just…"

"You don't have to say anything else, Arizona." I stop her. "I just needed to see you. Your face." I lean in and press a kiss below her ear. "I have a lot of making up to do, but I will let you do your thing until you decide if you can forgive me."

"I do…" She whispers, her hand gripping my wrist. "And I don't want you to leave…"

"I have to." I give her a sad smile.

"Why?"

"Because if I don't, I fear you will wake up tomorrow morning and regret your decision to ask me to stay." Straightening myself out, I clear my throat. "Why _did_ you agree to see me tonight?"

"Because I have spent the past few days trying to find a reason to dislike you…" Her blue eyes find mine. "I tried to come up with reasons to not have you in my life…"

"Oh." I drop my gaze.

"And I came up with nothing." She admits. "Whilst I hate the way you've treated me the past few days, I believe that you know you made a mistake."

"I do." I nod slowly.

"I also don't think you realize just how much I love you, Eliza." She closes the distance between us. "I don't think you realize that the other day, I told Herman I didn't want the job at the clinic if it meant I'd lose you…"

"Y-You what?" I furrow my brow.

"You may think that I'm a cheat and that you cannot trust me, but I know exactly how I feel about you inside. If you can ever give me the chance to show you how much I love you someday, I have to hold onto that. This…us…it's too good to let go of."

"I know you love me…" My voice breaks as tears slip down my face. "And I wouldn't ever expect you to leave anything behind for me…"

"But I was willing to." She breathes out. "I told her it was me or Carina. She chose me…and when Carina was at my place the other night, it was to say goodbye."

"I'm sorry." I cry. "I'm so sorry, Arizona."

"I know…you keep saying." She gives me one of her adorable smiles as she brushes the tears from my face. "We have some talking to do, but we aren't doing it here…"

"O-Okay." I furrow my brow.

"We will do it over dinner. At the weekend." She suggests. "If you wanted to?"

"I do want to." I agree. "I _really_ want to."

"Are you staying?" She asks, brushing past me and heading for the king-size bed she has been sleeping in alone for a few days.

"If you want me to…" I shift uncomfortably in the middle of the room. "I can leave, it's no problem."

"Leaving means that we aren't quite okay…" She glances up at me as she takes a seat on the edge of the bed. "And I don't want to feel like that anymore."

 _No, me neither…_

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.**


	18. Chapter 18

**I Can't Make You Love Me**

* * *

Chapter Eighteen

* * *

ARIZONA'S POV

* * *

 _Three days later…_

It feels good to be home. It feels good to not feel so unsure about my relationship. Yes, we have to talk…and that is happening tonight, but I appreciate Eliza coming to me and apologising. I appreciate that she recognised what she had said and made the effort to find me. To talk to me. I always thought she would but she was so angry at me when I went to her place last week that I wasn't sure it would be as simple as an apology and words from her. I wasn't sure she would come around and realise that I'm so much more than my past. Because I am, I'm more than that plane crash. I'm more than the woman who suffered and struggled for far too long. I'm more than what people believe I am. I'm me again. I'm complete. I feel fulfilled. I feel like I can do anything I set my mind to. If those around me would only see that, then my life would run so much more smoothly than it seems to.

Eliza says that she loves me and she says that she wants me, but I sat in that hotel room a few days ago and wondered if she truly meant it. I wondered if I was just someone to keep her occupied. Someone to be there for her since we are both kind of alone in New York. I wondered if I was really the one for her, and then I realized I was. I realized that nobody has ever looked at me the way she does. Nobody has ever held me like she does. I realized that she _does_ love me, and whilst what she said isn't acceptable, I can move on from it. Providing we talk and she tells me how she truly feels…I can forgive her. Why? Because I've spent so long looking for what we had before this got messed up, and I know in my heart, I won't find that with anyone else. I also know that I don't _want_ to find that with someone else. Why would I? She makes me happy. She makes my heart burst when she smiles at me. When she looks at me. When she touches me. She makes me feel like the woman I once was, so no…I don't want to give it up and hope that one day someone may _potentially_ compare to her.

I want what I have with her, and I want us to move forward. I want us to be open and honest about our pasts and no matter how much either of us may struggle with it, I believe its worth it. I believe that once we have talked it all out and cleared the air, things can and _will_ be good again. They have to be. Eliza was meant for me, so yeah…they have to be. Sure, it may all turn to shit tonight when we sit down together and discuss this past week, but I'm willing to risk that and I believe Eliza is, too. That connection we have is too strong. Even as I was walking away from her last week, I could feel that electricity between us. I could feel the butterflies in my stomach at the prospect of her not contacting me. It saddened me, but if she had come to that hotel room and told me she couldn't be with me because of a mistake I made, I would've understood. I wouldn't have liked it and I wouldn't have coped with it so well, but I'd have still understood. Trust is the most important thing in a relationship to me, so if my girlfriend felt like she couldn't trust me…I wouldn't have expected her to stay. _Nobody would expect someone to stay._

I may know what I want and I may have been home for three days, but we haven't spent much time together. Sure, Eliza came by last night to see Sofia, but other than that, we have kept a distance between us. It's not because I don't want to continue this with her, but I also wanted to wait until we had shared dinner. I wanted to wait so that I know she's okay with everything and we are in a better place with our relationship. Sex doesn't solve problems, it only encourages us to not think about them. Yes, it may be good…incredible even, when she is beneath me, but sex won't make this go away.

It's been nice to have some time to myself, but I won't lie…I'm beginning to miss Eliza as this day goes on. Maybe it's because I know we will be sharing dinner together tonight or maybe I'm missing her just because, but I'm ready to get back to us. I'm ready to watch her relaxing on my couch, in my bed each morning. I'm just ready to figure this all out with her and I hope that tonight will be the start of that. I hope tonight will be the end of the lonely nights. The uncertainty. The fears. I hope that tonight is when we finally realize just what we have…and go from there.

 ** _Did you want me to bring anything tonight? A x_**

Eliza has suggested she cook dinner at her place this evening. I haven't really spent any time at her place but either one of our apartments is good enough for me. We'd thought about heading out to dinner, but I don't really want to discuss my past in a restaurant on a Friday night in the middle of the city. I want quiet and a relaxed mood. I want to just go with it and whatever happens, happens.

 ** _Just yourself. E x_**

 ** _If anything changes, let me know. A x_**

 ** _Nothing is going to change. 7 pm? E x_**

 ** _7 pm works fine for me. A x_**

Setting my cell down on the counter, I pour myself a large fresh coffee and move into the living room. I have a few hours before I need to prepare myself for tonight and I'm not feeling as anxious as I thought I would be. I'm sure that will all change later when I'm heading two doors down, but for now…I feel good. I feel calm. It won't last, though. I mean, why would it? Who enjoys delving into their past with the woman they plan to spend the rest of their life with? I don't imagine anyone does, but I have to do this. If Eliza is ever going to understand my reasons for doing what I did…then yeah, I have to be honest with her. She may not see it as an acceptable reason but I will deal with that should it happen.

 _I'm tired of dealing. I just want to be happy…_

* * *

Okay, yeah…I'm beginning to feel it. The nerves. The uncertainty of what tonight is going to bring. I'm feeling it and it's making me want to throw up. It's making me want to throw up and lock myself in my apartment for the foreseeable. I mean, I'm dressed and ready to go…but what if I don't come out of this how I'm hoping to? How I'm expecting to. What if I end up back at my apartment tonight…without Eliza. _No, that cannot happen._ We are so much more than this. We _deserve_ so much more. I'm tired of being alone. I'm tired of not knowing what each evening will bring. The only constant I have in my life is my daughter, but I need more. I need Eliza by my side too. Not because I'm needy or scared of being alone, but because I love her. _God, I love her so much._ This time apart has only heightened that feeling. This time apart was necessary for me and I hope in some way, it was necessary for her too.

This night is important to me. _She_ is important to me. I just hope Eliza knows that. I just hope she realizes what we have and doesn't shut down on me tonight. There are things I want to say, and things I want to know, but I need her to be honest with me too. I need her to not accuse or get mad and I need her to be okay by the end of the night. Deciding that I need to just do this, I check myself over in the mirror one final time and head out of my bedroom. Yes, I've dressed up a little, but it was for myself. I'm not trying to seduce Eliza with the hope that it will erase how she felt about me last week. I'm doing it for myself. To make _me_ feel good. Pulling the door open, I head out into the corridor and straight for her apartment.

Knocking loudly, I can hear soft music playing inside Eliza's apartment and a small smile curls on my mouth. If she's playing music, she is feeling good about tonight. At least, that's what I'm telling myself. The door opening, I release a deep breath and put on my best smile. "Hi."

"H-Hi…Wow, you look amazing." Eliza's hand settling on my hip, she leans in and presses a kiss below my ear. "I'm so happy to see you…"

"Yeah?" My heart rate settles a little.

"I thought you wouldn't show." Eliza breathes out. "And I wouldn't have even blamed you if you hadn't…"

"Why wouldn't I show?" She steps aside and I head into her apartment, the aroma of some amazing food hitting me square in the face.

"I don't know." She closes the door. "Because I don't deserve another chance from you?" She scoffs. "Or because I'm the biggest asshole on the planet…"

"You're not." I turn back to face her. "Something smells amazing."

"Just some different things." Eliza shrugs. "Wasn't sure what you wanted…"

"Anything is good to me right now." I set my keys and cell phone down on the kitchen counter. "One of these for me?" I glance at the two glasses of red sitting beside my keys.

"Yes, help yourself." She clears her throat. "Dinner will be like five minutes...take a seat." Moving towards the dining table, a smile settles on my mouth when I find candles lit and a gorgeous arrangement of flowers before me.

"Wow, they're beautiful."

"They're for you…" She joins me. "I know it's nothing, but I felt like I had to do something."

"It's everything…" I breathe out, my hand slipping to her own. "Absolutely everything."

"Arizona…" She tugs me back against her body, her arms wrapping around my waist from behind. "I don't even know how to begin making it up to you, but I'm going to try. I'm going to try to show you that I love you."

"I know you love me." My head falls back on her shoulder. "I wouldn't be here right now if I didn't."

"I know but I feel like nothing I do or say will ever be enough." She sighs.

"This is good enough." My hand settles over Eliza's. "This is more than enough."

"I have something I wanted to show you after dinner." She says. "And I don't want it to be a big deal and it doesn't even have to mean anything, but I just…I wanted to do something for you to show you that I'm all in."

"Eliza, I shouldn't have said that to you." I turn in her arms, her hand settling on my lower back. "I was angry that you had just walked out on me…"

"But still, I need you to know…"

"Okay." I give her a nod. "Let's eat, yeah?" She smiles and releases me from her grip. Watching her move into the kitchen, her jeans are hugging her ass so perfectly and I'm struggling to keep my eyes off of her. She's just so gorgeous that sometimes I'm not sure what to even do with myself. "Y-You need some help?" I clear my throat.

"Nope." She disagrees. "Sit yourself down and I'll be right there." Giving Eliza a smile, I relax into a seat and sip my wine. I feel like tonight is going to be okay, but I'm not getting my hopes up just yet. We will enjoy dinner and go from there. It's really all we can do right now. "It was good seeing Sofia last night…" She smiles as she approaches me with dinner.

"She certainly loves having you around." I breathe out, relaxing back into my seat. "You are all she talks about."

"I'm sure that's not true." Eliza gives me a knowing look. "But I do like spending time with her."

"Well, I'm hoping you will be spending a lot more time with her." I try to gauge her reaction but she's not really giving me anything to work with. "If that's what you wanted but it's fine if you don't."

"Of course, I do." Eliza takes a seat facing me. "I'd love to spend more time with Sofia. You too…"

"Oh, thank god." I place my hand on my chest. "I just...you're so hard to work out."

"What exactly are you trying to work out?" She raises her eyebrow. "I mean if you're trying to say something…just say it."

"Why was Ash here?" My words rushed, Eliza gives me a sad smile. "I'm not accusing you, but like…is there still something there between you both?"

"No." She says with certainty. "Nothing at all, Arizona."

"Okay…" I breathe out.

"She was just hanging out." She shrugs. "And I know she probably shouldn't have been here, but I swear…" She holds up her hands. "Nothing happened."

"I know." I sigh. "I just felt like I needed to ask, I'm sorry."

"Don't be." She smiles. "I'm sure it looked suspicious."

"It did yeah." I take a forkful of food into my mouth and moan at the taste. I know Eliza makes some good food, but this is really good. "Was there anything, in particular, you wanted to talk about?"

"You mean your past?" She asks, sipping her wine.

"If you needed to know anything, yeah…"

"Honestly, I don't think I do." Her hand slipping across the table, it settles on my own. "I know you think that I don't trust you, but I do."

"This…what you see now?" I raise an eyebrow. "This is the real me." I smile. "Sure, I guess in some way I'll never really be the person I once was, but I'm good. I'm great, even."

"I love _this_ you." She squeezes my hand.

"What happened after the crash…it was just a blur," I admit. "Nothing made any sense. Like, I was there. I was alive. I just…at times, I wondered why I was alive. What the point of being alive was if I felt so awful about myself. Why even bother…"

"Well, I'm so happy that you're alive." She gives me a genuine smile. "Alive, and here with me."

"Me too." My voice breaks. "I never wanted to hurt Callie." I study her face. "It wasn't even about us. It didn't happen because I didn't love her. It didn't happen because she didn't make me happy."

"You don't have to explain yourself to me, Arizona."

"Except I do." I drop my fork down to my plate. "I need you to know that I wasn't myself." I sit forward. "I'm not saying what I did was right, and I'll never forgive myself for sleeping with another woman while I was married, but I cannot change it. It happened and it's not something I make a habit of doing."

"Arizona, stop." She drops her gaze. "I know that isn't you. I know exactly who you are. You are beautiful and everything I never imagined in my life…"

"You have to say that…" I roll my eyes playfully. "But thank you."

"I don't have to say it." She shrugs. "But it is the truth." She gives me a knowing look. "I see a future with you, Arizona. I've never imagined that with anyone I've dated before. I've never imagined waking up with anyone in ten years time…happy and more in love than I am right now but with you, I do. I do every minute of the day."

"Yeah?" My smile widens.

"And I guess that's why I freaked out last week." She sighs. "I'll never forgive myself for the things I said to you, but I've never felt so scared of losing anyone in my life. I've never felt this intensity with anyone else."

"I need you to forgive yourself." I stand, nudging my chair back. "I need you to so we can move forward." Pulling Eliza up to her feet, my arms wrap around her waist and my thumb brushes her bottom lip. "I spent so long being bitter and angry and I promised myself I wouldn't live that way anymore. So, I took myself out of the situation I could feel rising between us and I gave myself a few days. Just to calm down."

"I hurt you, Arizona." A tear slips down her face. "I hurt you but you're here with me."

"I am." My dimples pop. "I am and I always will be. Not with Carina, and not with anyone else. Just…you."

"Come with me?" She raises her eyebrow. "Dessert can wait a few minutes…"

"Sure." Turning me in her arms, her body presses against my back and she guides me towards a door.

"I didn't know how to show you I was completely in, and like I said earlier…we don't have to make a big deal out of this. We can even pretend it never happened, but…" Turning the handle, she pushes the door open and sighs. "I fixed my guest room up in case you and Sofia ever want to spend the night."

"You did this?" My voice breaks, the image in front of me breaking my heart in all the right ways. "F-For Sofia?"

"It doesn't have to mean anything…" She tries to defend her actions, pinks, and purples freshly painted on the walls. Rainbow sheets covering a kingsize bed. "But I thought maybe if you and Callie are both working and I'm available…you wouldn't need to call a sitter. You know, I could hang out with Sofia." My grip on her hands tightening, I don't even have any words for this right now. "And I know it's a stupid idea and you probably wouldn't ever want or need me to take care of her, but the offer is there…"

"I love you." My eyes close, a smile curling on my mouth. "I love you and you are incredible."

"No, I'm not." She disagrees, her head shaking slightly as I turn to face her. "I just didn't know what else to do, b-but I love you too."

"This…" I press my lips to her own. "…is amazing."

"You're not mad?" She breathes against my lips. "I don't want you to think you have to stay over but I don't know. It was just an idea…"

"Mad?" I smile. "At you?" She gives me a nod. "No, Eliza…I'm not mad." My hand slipping to her ass, I pull her in close and take her bottom lip between my teeth. "Do you have any idea just how much I love you?"

"Y-Yes…" Her eyes closing as my tongue runs along her bottom lip, a low moan rumbles in her throat.

"Dessert?" I smirk against her mouth.

"I-I, uh…" Her teeth tugging on her bottom lip, I narrow my eyes. "Y-Yeah." Watching as she swallows hard, I love the effect I'm causing right now. "I-I'll get that for you right away…"

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.**


	19. Chapter 19

**I Can't Make You Love Me**

* * *

Chapter Nineteen

* * *

ELIZA'S POV

* * *

Thank god my plan didn't backfire on me. I mean, I expected it to. I expected Arizona to laugh and tell me I was ridiculous for suggesting that they would want to spend the night here, but she didn't. She didn't and I'm so thankful for that. It means I matter. It means she wants me in Sofia's life in some kind of way. Yeah, I kinda already am in her daughters life, but after my behaviour, after the way I treated Arizona, she may have completely changed her mind about what she wanted. She may have decided that this could just be some fun between us. She didn't though, and now I'm watching her from the couch while she moves around my kitchen with complete ease. _God, she is really something else._ I know we only planned to talk tonight but I'm kinda hoping that isn't where it ends. Sure, I love talking to Arizona and just relaxing with her, but I need her against me. I need to erase the hurt I've caused. _Yeah, I need her and I need her sooner rather than later._

"Hey, uh...did you want to stay the night?" I ask as Arizona turns to face me.

"Figured that was a given." She takes her bottom lip between her teeth and leans back against the counter. "No?"

"Y-Yeah…" I smile. "I just don't like to assume."

"Oh." She furrows her brow. "Because I love a woman who just assumes and then maybe takes control of the situation."

"Oh, you do, huh?" I climb from the couch and close the distance between us. Taking her wine glass from her hand, I set it down on the counter and press my body against her own. "You should've said…"

"Oh, I couldn't possibly." She smirks, her fingers curling around the waistband of my jeans and pulling me in painfully close. "You have been the perfect host tonight." Smiling against my mouth, her tongue slips past my lips and runs along the roof of my mouth. "And I kinda don't want it to end…"

"So it won't." My eyes remain closed. "It doesn't ever have to end."

"Something in mind?" She whispers, the button on my jeans popping.

"Anything that involves you and your gorgeous body…" My lips trailing her jawline, her head falls back and my tongue travels the skin of her neck. "Because I'm kinda over the waiting…"

"Me too…" Arizona moans. Her buttons on her blouse popping one by one, I reach the last one and allow it to drop from her shoulders.

"Perfect." Placing open-mouthed kisses down between her breasts, the clasp on her bra miraculously opens and I lick my lips before taking a hardening nipple between my teeth. "So perfect…"

Pushing off the counter, I'm guided further into the room, my mouth all over her chest. My own shirt disappearing from my body, my ass connects with the back of the couch and Arizona slips her thigh between my legs. "You know…I thought about this moment every minute I spent at the hotel."

"Yeah?" Her lips pressing against my own, my girlfriend simply moans in agreement and pushes her hand past the waistband of my jeans and panties. "What did you think about?"

"Touching you…" She says between kisses. "Having you to myself."

"Mm, sounds perfect to me…" A groan falls from my lips as Arizona's fingertips press against my clit. "O-Oh, that feels good…" Pressing a little harder, my breath catches in my throat and we almost tumble backward over the couch. "Fuck…" My girlfriend's hand suddenly disappearing, she backs away from me and I squeeze my thighs together. "W-Wha-" Taking my hand, she pulls me away from the couch and our bodies collide.

"Bedroom, beautiful…" Tugging at my hand, she backs up to my bedroom door and her back connects with it. "Because I really don't have it in me to wait any longer."

"You need a little relief, huh?" My lips crush into her own. "Just how I hoped our night would end."

"I thought you didn't assume…" She pulls back and smirks.

"It wasn't an assumption." I kick my door open. "It was hope."

"Well, I _hope_ you're ready to scream my name…" Dragging me into my bedroom, she turns and pushes me down onto the bed. Her own body landing on top of me, my hands find Arizona's gorgeous naked back and her hips press against my own. "God, I've missed this." She sucks on my neck, her teeth grazing my skin. "I've missed dessert with you." She smirks against my ear. "You. Are. The. Most. Incredible. Dessert." Grinding against me, my own hips lift from the bed as Arizona suddenly sits up and climbs off of me, my jeans swiftly removed from my body with my panties following.

"Arizona, I need you…" Climbing back on top of me, she dips her head and presses a kiss to my inner thigh. "Yes, right there." My hands tangle in her hair. "Fuck, right there." Taking a slow, firm lick up the length of my center, my back arches and she moans against my sex.

"Fuck, you taste better than ever." Blowing gently on my clit, my nails graze the back of her neck as she pushes two fingers deep inside of me. "Squeezing me so tight." She whispers against my sex. "You need to come, huh?"

"I always need to come when you touch me, Arizona." Thrusting in and out of me, she curls her fingers and hits that sweet spot. The spot that drives me absolutely insane. "Uh, fuck."

"Get on your knees." She suddenly pulls out of me. "Now!"

"Jesus Christ." I breathe out, turning onto my stomach and lifting my body up. "You're going to kill me."

"Oh, beautiful." She traces the curve of my ass. "What would I do if you weren't here?" Her teeth sinking into my ass, all breath leaves my body. "I'd fall apart without you."

"Arizona…" I groan as I force my ass back against her. "Please.."

"Tell me what you need." She whispers as her center presses against my ass. I know she loves it when I give her what she wants and I think she deserves that right now.

"I need you inside of me…" I moan, her fingers slowly gliding up and down my center. "I need you to fuck me hard, Arizona."

"Only me…" She toys with my entrance.

"Only you could ever give me what I need…" Gasping as she pushes back inside of me, her pace immediately picks up and I slam back against her hand. "Y-Yes, just like that."

"Yeah?"

"Fuck, yeah." My head thrown back, Arizona's hand glides up my spine and she grips my shoulder before adding a third finger. "Oh, shit." My mouth falling open, nobody has ever filled me quite like Arizona does. She's one of a kind and I've always maintained that. One of a kind, and mine.

"So tight…" She moans. "Tight and beautiful." Pressing a kiss to my ass, she releases her grip on my shoulder and lowers her hand before dipping it beneath my body and tugging my nipple. "You know…" She pounds into me so good. "I could get used to this…"

"Mm, me too."

"Fucking you like the world is about to end." She pants. "Fucking you and showing you that you're mine…that I'll never need anyone else."

"Fuck." My stomach tightens as she uses her free hand to work my clit.

"Watching you come undone for me…and _only_ me."

"Y-Yes…" My orgasm approaching, my legs shake and Arizona moans in delight. "Oh, god…yes."

"Come, Eliza." She leans her body over my own. "Come for me." Picking up her pace, my body shudders and every nerve ignites within me. "That's it…you know you wanna."

"O-Oh, shit…Arizona!" My eyes slamming shut and my mouth falling open, I arch my back and my world turns black. Silently coming undone, my entire body shakes and I'm not sure I've ever come so hard. That intensity. That undeniable urge. Fuck, that was better than ever. "U-Uh." My upper body hitting the mattress, Arizona tumbles on top of me and her breathing is erratic.

"Fuck, that was something else." She presses her lips against my shoulder. "I love you…"

"I love you, too." Shifting off of me, Arizona drops down beside me and I turn on my side. "So much, Arizona."

"No more breaking up, okay?" She presses a kiss to my nose. "The makeup sex may be hot, but no more…"

"No more." I smile. "Just…us, together."

"Together."

* * *

Waking to an empty bed, I sit up on my elbows and furrow my brow. Arizona and I went all night long and honestly, I could use a little more sleep. Sure, I'm ready to face the day if needs be, but if she could just join me in this warm bed for another five minutes…I'd be forever thankful. _Forever._ Sighing, I climb from my bed and wrap myself up in the sheet that has just been covering my body. Heading for the door, it's open slightly and I can hear Arizona outside talking on her cell.

"Yes, mommy is coming by to collect you tomorrow, Sof." A smile settling on my face, I know Arizona cannot wait to see her daughter. I love weeknights with them. I love just relaxing and doing nothing. It's not really something I've ever done, but I could definitely get used to it with those two. "No, Eliza is here." Arizona states. "Maybe she will come by with me, yeah."

 _Okay, I'd love that._

"Okay, so mommy is going to hang up now." Arizona sighs. "I need food…Oh, you did, huh?" Turning, my girlfriend leans back against the counter and glances up to find me watching her, a smile curling on her mouth. "Okay, I love you too, Sofia. Bye." Ending her call, Arizona sets her cell down on the counter and narrows her eyes, trailing them up and down my body. "Good morning, beautiful."

"Mm, good morning." I close the distance between us and press my lips to her own. "Sofia okay?"

"She is." Arizona smiles against my mouth before pulling back. "Once again, she is more concerned about your whereabouts than mine, but whatever."

"I'm sure that's not true." I furrow my brow. "But the kids do kinda love me." I shrug, my confidence appearing out of nowhere. "What can I say…"

"My kid loves you and that is all I care about."

"You know, you're looking kinda beautiful this morning…"

"So are you…" She fists her hand in the sheet covering my body and crushes her lips into my own. "Beautiful and so very very naked."

"Mm, it gets a little hot with you around." I smile against her mouth before releasing the sheet from my grip and allowing it to drop to the floor. "And I'll bet…" Lifting her up onto my kitchen counter, I stand between her legs and tug on the belt holding her robe in place. "...you're very very naked beneath this robe, too."

"Maybe." She leans down as her arms wrap around my neck, her lips ghosting over my own. "Why don't you find out for yourself, huh?"

"Maybe I will." My hand slips up her thigh and beneath the material. My palm trailing her stomach and up between her breasts, I push it from her shoulder and she sits back on her hands. "Mm, just as I expected." Open-mouthed kisses placed across my girlfriend's chest, her hands tangle in my hair and she pulls me harder against her. "Did you need something?" I mumble against her skin.

"Y-You…" Her stomach tightens as my mouth travels lower. "Always you…" Smiling as her legs spread a little, I know exactly what she needs…and I'm going to give it to her. _God, I'm so going to give it to her._

"Mm, wet." I moan as my thumb presses against her clit. "Have you been thinking about me this morning?"

"Fuck…" She moans, breathlessly. "I'm always thinking about you, Eliza."

"Good." Separating her folds, a wet heat connects with the tip of my tongue and a moan rumbles in my throat. "Who needs breakfast when I have you around?"

"Shit, t-that…oh god, that feels so good." Resting back on her elbows, she lifts her right leg and plants her foot down on my counter. "But I need more."

"How much more?" I slip a finger inside of her, my tongue still rolling over her clit.

"More." She begs and I slip a second inside of her. "Mm, yes."

"This much more?" I glance up at her, her eyes dark.

"M-More…" Her head falls back on her shoulders as a third finger slowly but surely eases inside of her. "Fuck, just like that."

"Beautiful." I pull back as I watch my fingers disappear inside of her. Her body just taking them perfectly. "God, I could come just watching you, Arizona."

"Harder." She pants, her stomach muscles contracting with every thrust. Adding a little more strength behind my movements, her back connects with the counter and I watch on in delight. Her back lifting and her body writhing, my girlfriend is so gorgeous it's actually quite unbelievable. Her fingertips gripping the counter and her knuckles turning white, I roll my tongue over her clit and suck it into my mouth. "O-Oh…" A gasp falls from her beautiful lips as I curl my fingers and hit that spot.

"Mm, you're close." I release the bud with a pop. "I can feel you…"

"Oh, fuck." One hand removed from the counter, she grips the back of my head and forces her sex against my mouth. "M-Make me come, Eliza." Her words sending me insane, I push a little deeper and Arizona lifts her leg over my shoulder. Her heel digging into my back, I know she is going to come hard any minute now. Any second. Three fingers deep inside of her, my thumb rolls over her clit and the sexiest moan I've ever heard rips from Arizona's throat. "I'm coming…fuck, I'm coming."

"I know." I smile as I press a kiss to the inside of her thigh. One more roll of my thumb and all breath leaves my girlfriend's body. Shuddering and writhing against my kitchen counter, her thighs close around my head and her chest heaves.

"Oh god." She whispers, her body slowly coming down from its unexpected high. "Oh god."

"You doing okay there, pretty lady?" I slip out of her and take my fingers between my lips. "Mm…"

"M-More than okay." She pants as she tries to sit up on her elbows. Releasing my fingers with a pop, I slip them past Arizona's lips and her eyes close.

"You see just how amazing you taste?" I whisper, my arm wrapping around her waist and pulling her up against me. "Huh?"

"Jesus Christ." She breathes out. "I don't even know how I ever got you…"

"You know…" Studying her face, she gives me the sweetest smile I've ever witnessed. "We are going to be so good together."

"Yeah?" She leans into my touch as I brush my thumb across her cheek and her eyes close.

"I don't doubt it for one moment…" I smile. "I know things have been completely up in the air lately, but I know we both belong here."

"Promise?" She whispers against my mouth.

"Arizona, I've never been more sure about anything else in my entire life…"

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.**


	20. Chapter 20

**I Can't Make You Love Me**

* * *

Chapter Twenty

* * *

ARIZONA'S POV

* * *

Nothing ever feels better than having Eliza's hand in my own. I mean, my daughter makes me immensely happy, but Eliza adds to that happiness, without a doubt. We've been walking around Central Park for the last hour or so and it feels good to be outside and grabbing some fresh air. Sure, it's a little crisp this morning, but I wanted to get some more alone time with my girlfriend before I collect Sofia. I know Eliza has no problem with sharing me, but still…I'm grabbing what I can, while I can. Nicole called me late last night to tell me that the clinic was coming on well and she's given me a time frame of around three weeks. A few things were set back as other stuff took priority, but I'm not in any rush right now. Sure, I'd like to be working and getting my hands on some good surgeries, but I've realised that there is so much more to life than just working. Especially now that I have the two most important people in my life full time. I know all of this has to come to an end sooner or later, but right now it feels good. Not having to worry about my pager going off or being held back at the end of my shift, yeah…it feels good. Better than I ever thought it would.

I had some things I wanted to discuss with Eliza, but I'm not sure we're quite there yet. Yeah, I'd like to believe that we almost are, but we haven't really talked about much since we got back together. Like, is she permanent at the hospital now? Is she going to leave if she isn't as her services are required elsewhere? I'd like to believe that I could do long distance if it came to it, but I'm not sure I could. I'm not sure I could bear to be away from her through the week and only grab the weekends together when it's possible. Once upon a time, I'd have done it in a heartbeat…hell, I'd have followed her wherever she was, but things are different now. A lot different. I have Sofia back with me full time and I couldn't uproot her again. I don't have it in me to move around like I used to. It may be nothing new on me, but I still don't want to have to make that an option. I don't want to have to decide between the two loves of my life. _Something tells me my life isn't that simple, though._

"I've really enjoyed these last few weeks with you…" Eliza pulls me from my thoughts. "I know it hasn't always been good, but still…"

"Me too." I lean in a little closer.

"Just wish it didn't have to end." She sighs.

"End?" I furrow my brow. "What does that even mean?"

"All of this." She shrugs. "Being alone 24/7 and not worrying about work."

"Eliza…" I stop us near a bench and pull her towards it. "I needed to speak to you about something…"

"Sure." She nods as we drop down. "What is it?"

"Are you going to leave?" I'm trying to be nonchalant about it but I suspect my girlfriend sees right through it.

"Leave you?" She asks, surprise in her voice.

"Yeah, leave me?"

"No." She shakes her head. "No way am I ever leaving you again."

"Are you permanent at the hospital?" I ask, my voice not as confident as before.

"No, I'm not." She sighs. "I'm on my usual contact. Like at Grey Sloan."

"Right." I drop my hands from her own. "That's what I thought."

"Is that a problem?" Eliza asks, her brow furrowed. "I mean, I guess I'm not as financially stable as someone with a permanent contract but I've never been out of a job."

"No, it's not that." I sigh. "But what happens when your job in New York is done?"

"I-I hadn't thought about that." She drops her gaze. "I guess everything else just took over and I didn't have the opportunity to think about it."

"Yeah, same here." I give her a sad smile. "What does this mean for us?" I'm not sure I want an answer to my question but I guess it's better to know now than in a few months when she leaves.

"I don't want it to affect what we are." She takes my hands again and gives me a look I don't recognize. "I mean, I know it's always going to be in the back of your mind…mine too, but can we not discuss it right now?"

"Sure, I guess." I give my girlfriend a slight shrug of the shoulders. "But we do need to talk about it at some point, Eliza."

"Why, though?"

"Because the day will come when you are no longer needed at the hospital and then I'll lose you."

"You aren't going to lose me, Arizona." She pulls me in a little closer. "You know I want to be with you…"

"But it isn't as simple as just staying, is it?" I give her a knowing look. "It isn't as simple as just promising to never leave. Your job doesn't ensure that."

"No, I know." She nods slowly, her eyes focusing on the floor. "But can we just enjoy this a little while longer at least?"

"Yeah." I give her my best fake smile. "Whatever we have to do." Eliza knows I'm worrying, but I think it's just kinda hit her too. She's right in that we have been caught up getting back together, but now that the realization is beginning to hit, I'm not sure I could cope watching her walk away without any choice. Yes, there is always a choice, but when her job requires her to do what she does, that choice becomes so much more complicated. "Maybe we should head back?"

"Not yet." She pulls me up to my feet, our bodies connecting and molding so perfectly. "I wanna spend some more time with you here before we collect Sofia."

 _We. I love it when she says 'we'._ Not only would I hate not having my girlfriend around, but Sofia would also be watching another woman leave her life. First Penny, and now…possibly Eliza one day. "Come on…" Deciding not to dwell on what could possibly be, I squeeze Eliza's hand tight and we head off through the rest of the park. I know it's going to play on my mind, but right now she is here. My girlfriend is here and we are in love. Surely love trumps everything else, no?

 _God, I hope it does…_

* * *

Finally home and ready to settle down for the evening, Eliza stayed back with Callie to discuss the project my ex-wife wants her in on. Yeah, I'd rather she was here with me, but she will be back soon and I'm focusing on that. I'm focusing on the fact that tonight, we will fall asleep together and tomorrow, we will share breakfast with Sofia. My daughter keeps asking me when Eliza will be back, but I honestly don't have an answer for her. I know how it can be when you're trying to prepare for funding and proposals, so no…I've no idea when my girlfriend will be home. _Not home, Arizona. Just here._

"Mommy!" Sofia comes sulking into the living room. "Can you just like call Eliza?"

"Maybe." I motion for her to come and sit with me. "She's busy with mama doing work."

"But I wanted her to take me to bed tonight." She pouts as she climbs up and settles beside me. "Please?"

"Okay, we will give her another ten minutes and then I'll call, okay?"

"Okayyy." My daughter draws out.

"You know, Eliza can't wait to spend time with you…"

"She can't?" Sofia's eyes light up. "Does that mean she loves me, mommy?"

 _Oh._

"I, uh…" Clearing my throat, I don't even know how to answer my daughter's question. It isn't one I should be answering, I'm sure of that.

"Because I love her." Sofia smiles. "She's the best."

"She is pretty awesome, huh?" _God, I don't even know what to do with any of this conversation._

"She makes you smile." My daughter rests her head against me. "And she makes me laugh and my belly hurts."

"She does?" My fingers trail through my daughter's hair and I release a slight sigh. "I'll bet she would love you to tell her that."

"Okay." She shrugs. "You can call her now."

"Yeah, maybe a text first?" I raise an eyebrow, taking my cell in my hand. "If she's busy with mama, we can't interrupt her."

"Fineee."

 ** _Hey, so my daughter is making me crazy talking about you…_**

 ** _I'm about to step into the elevator. E x_**

 ** _Oh, thank god. A x_**

"Eliza will be here very soon." I give my daughter a full smile. "So, how about we get you ready for bed?" Watching as my daughter yawns, her eyes flickering open and closed, she gives me a nod and I pull her into my lap. "I missed you this weekend."

"I missed you, too." Sofia wraps her arms around my neck. "And Eliza."

"Really?" I roll my eyes playfully. "I'd have never known…" A knock pulling us from our conversation, Sofia climbs down my from lap and rushes to the front door.

"Eliza!" She yells when she finds my girlfriend on the other side of the door. "You came back!"

"Uh, yeah." Eliza deadpans. "Had to make sure you went to bed, right?"

"Yah." She takes my girlfriend's hand in her own and pulls her inside. "Mommy, Eliza is here."

"I see that." I give her a soft smile and stand.

"Can I tell her now?" Sofia stands with her hand on her hip.

"Tell me what?" Eliza cuts in and I give my daughter a nod, followed by a wink.

"You make me laugh till my belly hurts." Sofia looks up at my girlfriend, a full smile on her face. "Really hurts."

"I do?" Eliza drops to her knees in front of Sofia. "You make me laugh really hard, too."

"And you make mommy smile." She grins. "And I love you." Shrugging, I love how easy this is for my daughter. I won't lie, I was worried about how well she would take to Eliza but yeah, I never needed to worry. This? It's freaking perfect.

"Wow." Eliza breathes out. "You just put it all out there, huh?" Glancing my way, Eliza is looking at me as though she requires my permission to continue this conversation. Giving her a shrug, I round the couch and head into the kitchen. "You know, I think you're really awesome and I love you, too." Eliza pulls my daughter into a hug and I try to control my emotions.

"Mommy, Eliza loves me too." Unshed tears in my eyes, I turn my back and brush a single one that has fallen from my jawline.

"She does…" I sigh. "She does."

* * *

"Sofia is down." Eliza drops down beside me and wraps her arm around my shoulder.

"Great." My hand settles on my girlfriend's thigh. "She was waiting for you."

"Yeah, I kinda got that impression." Relaxing against her, my eyes focus on the TV in front of me and try to forget about the worries I've been having since our conversation this morning. "Sorry I took so long…"

"That's okay." I glance back and find her eyes. "You have to work, I get that."

"No, it wasn't really work." She clears her throat. "I had to talk to Callie about some stuff."

"Okay." I shrug. "You don't have to explain your routine to me, Eliza." Giving her thigh a reassuring squeeze, she wraps her other arm around my body and holds me close.

"I know you're thinking about what we said today…"

"No, I just…I don't want to get my hopes up, is all."

"What does that mean?" She presses her lips below my ear. "Huh?"

"Sofia is getting closer to you and I'm barely surviving when you're not here…"

"And?"

"And I don't want it to all disappear when your contract ends, Eliza." I have to be honest with her. "If I have to distance myself, I need you to tell me…"

"I'm not leaving you, Arizona." She whispers against my ear. "Not now. Not ever."

"I know. You've already said." I breathe out. "I just don't know if I can do long distance."

"No, you're not hearing me." She says as I tilt my head up and study her face. "I'm saying...I'm not leaving you. Ever."

"I wish it were that simple." I give my girlfriend a sad smile. "But we both know it's not."

"Seems pretty simple to me." She shrugs, a small smile curling on her mouth. "I spoke to Callie…"

"About what?" I furrow my brow.

"About my need to be here." She replies. "About the fact that I'm not prepared to move on and work elsewhere when I should be here with you…"

"O...kay." I turn to face her fully. "But why did you need to speak to Callie?"

"Because she has a position opening up in six months."

"She does?" My smile widens. "You're not just saying this to put me at ease?"

"No, I'd never do that to you." Eliza shakes her head. "She mentioned it a while ago but it was before you had moved to New York. One of her Ortho surgeons is retiring. She offered it to me and I declined the first time around."

"But you told her you want it?"

"I did." She nods. "I cannot leave and only see you when my schedule allows for it, Arizona." She presses her lips to the back of my hand. "I'm in way too deep to even think about long distance…"

"Me too." I shift into my girlfriend's lap. "Me too." Wrapping my arms around her neck, Eliza presses her lips to my own and my heart skips a beat. "What does this mean for us, Eliza?"

"What do you want it to mean?" She asks.

"I want it to mean that we have a future together." My thumb brushes her bottom lip. "I want it to mean that every night I will fall asleep in your arms…"

"I'm sure we can make that work." She runs her fingers through my hair before her hands settle on my back. "So long as you know I'm here to stay, we can make anything work."

"Stay here…" I whisper against her mouth. "Stay here with me and Sofia."

"I am here, beautiful."

"No." I shake my head. "I want you here…always."

"You mean…" Furrowing her brow, my girlfriend is beginning to realize what I'm saying. "...like full time?"

"I mean forever and always." My forehead resting against her own, the intense green of Eliza bore into my soul and tears form in her eyes. "Say you'll at least think about it?"

"I don't need to." She smiles. "I already know my answer."

"You do?" I pull back, my heart pounding in my ears.

"I do." She takes my bottom lip between her teeth. "I want nothing more than to make this something beautiful…" Her eyes close. "I want nothing more than to wake beside you every morning and watch Sofia grow into the incredible woman I know she is going to be."

"You're going to make me cry…" My voice breaks a little.

"I want the world with you, Arizona…and that is why I can't ever leave New York. That is why I would give up everything I have for you."

Tears falling freely from my eyes, I don't even try to hold them back. My breath catching as Eliza wipes them from my face, she replaces my tears with soft kisses and my heart rate finally begins to settle. "I love you."

"I love you, too." She pulls me against her body. "I love you and I'm going to spend the rest of my life showing you that." She smiles. "Sofia, too."

"We want you here…" I breathe out. "We want all of this with you…"

"So, let's do it." She tightens her grip on my body, her hand slipping to my ass. "From this moment on…we do this."

"Yeah?" My dimples pop. "You're ready?"

"For forever with you?" She raises her eyebrow. "Oh, Arizona…" She sighs. "I've _always_ been ready for forever with you."

* * *

 **That's a wrap, guys.**

 **Thank you to everyone who has followed and reviewed this fic. As always, your support means the world to me.**

 **Stay tuned…**


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